02/23/04
Trace [3:22 PM]: Kellie's an ass-twit. She's telling me no one will pick me up from the airport and going "ha ha ha"
Cara [3:22 PM]: Hahaha. I bet she's winking, too
Cara [3:27 PM]: This guy I know quotes Ayn Rand like she's the second coming. Except the part where she's a crazy socialist
Trace [3:28 PM]: LMAO Ive met those. But theyre usually, yknow, in 9th grade reading her for the first time and the kids are all, "Wowzers! This is like, totally different from The Bobsey Twins."
Trace [3:28 PM]: And in the 50's.
Cara [3:28 PM]: Haha. He's 22
Trace [3:29 PM]: exactly.
Cara [3:29 PM]: He's like 'Well, Ayn Rand says...' and I'm like 'Yeah, she also says down with capitalism, you stupid money lover'
Cara [3:33 PM]: Of course he's the same guy who said that this girl at his church who won an award for all her volunteering shouldn't have because she was a bit of a slut
Trace [3:34 PM]: Thats volunteering of a different degree
Cara [3:34 PM]: Exactly
Cara [3:34 PM]: She had all the bases covered
Cara [3:34 PM]: Besides, her volunteering and screwing people was still doing more for society than his not volunteering and Catholic prudishness
Trace [3:35 PM]: he was volunteering to god.
Cara [3:35 PM]: To be a dick
Cara [3:35 PM]: There are enough dicks workin' for God
Trace [3:36 PM]: priest..... joke.....
Cara [3:36 PM]: Resist the urge!
Cara [3:36 PM]: Unlike them
Trace [3:36 PM]: heh heh heh
Cara [3:36 PM]: It's just too easy
Cara [3:37 PM]: God dammit, Ralph Nader pisses me off
Trace [3:43 PM]: LMAO Roy made a special NY dinner for Mom and Kellie to make up for his recent no-carb diet. He made NY apples with "NY cheese" and NY strip steak with "NY water". Kellie's not amused.
Cara [3:43 PM]: Hahahahaha
Cara [3:43 PM]: Yeah. My dad goes on a no-carb diet every two weeks for about two days
Cara [3:44 PM]: But oh, those two days are hell. Mostly because he spends them bitching about how much he wants pizza
Trace [3:44 PM]: yeah apparently thats been roy too. buuuut hes making me what I want while Im there
Cara [3:44 PM]: Yeah, my mom always does that because she says if I don't eat carbs I'll just eat fruit and chocolate
Trace [3:44 PM]: Im like "Oh no, Kalamati Pasta. Now."
Cara [3:44 PM]: Hahaha
Trace [3:45 PM]: my requests have been chowder, pasta, and mexican, so he's screwed
Cara [3:45 PM]: Mm Mexican
Trace [3:45 PM]: mmmm....
Cara [3:46 PM]: My mom's like 'So, all you'll need when you come home will be a new box of crayons, a fresh pad of paper and chocolate, right?'
Trace [3:46 PM]: LMAO
Trace [3:46 PM]: she KNOWS you
Cara [3:46 PM]: and I said 'Actually, Trace got me a variety of Care Bears coloring books, but that's another story for another time
Cara [3:46 PM]: Haha. And she also said a big box for me to play in. Which I haven't done in a couple years, now, thankyouverymuch
Cara [3:46 PM]: Oh, you know what I hate?
Trace [3:47 PM]: Yes?
Cara [3:47 PM]: This happened to me Saturday night. When you're on a first date and the movie has strippers gyrating around and you're not familiar enough with the person you're on the date with to be comfortable with naked people on screen
Trace [3:48 PM]: oooh or when thats just on tv and youre caught in a room with parents or strangers.
Cara [3:48 PM]: Yes. I hate that
Trace [3:48 PM]: Yup.
Cara [3:48 PM]: You just glance sideways at them and shift
Trace [3:48 PM]: hahaha and its awful
Cara [3:48 PM]: And before the strippers there was a preview for the Dreamers and I was just like 'arrrgh'
Trace [3:50 PM]: Dreamers?
Cara [3:50 PM]: I think I actually want to see it
Cara [3:51 PM]: It's about this American who goes to Paris in the '60's and he's big on movies and he meets this girl and her brother who are big on movies and goes to live with them
Trace [3:51 PM]: um. ew
Cara [3:51 PM]: No, but it's all sex and betrayal and that kind of thing
Trace [3:51 PM]: you should have just been like. "this is ok. language barrier. he doesnt know what strippers..are"
Cara [3:52 PM]: Right. He thinks the naked Japanese girls standing on their heads are planters
Trace [3:52 PM]: still, I bet you'd prefer that preview to, like, the rerelease of Schindler's List on DVD
Cara [3:52 PM]: LMAO
Cara [3:53 PM]: 'Do you want to go see the Pianist?' 'No!No!'
Trace [3:54 PM]: "Hey, Life is Beauti-" "NO"
Cara [3:54 PM]: 'Sophie's Choice?' 'It didn't happen! It didn't happen!'
Trace [3:55 PM]: hahaha, my english teacher just showed us the three minutes where you see what sophie's choice IS. blast her
Cara [3:55 PM]: My history teacher did that to us in 8th grade!
Cara [3:55 PM]: I was like 'what the FUCK'
Trace [3:59 PM]: I thought Ashley was being curt with me, but she said xoxoxo... and who can argue that?
Cara [3:59 PM]: Hahahaha
Trace [4:00 PM]: it means -hugs- and -kisses-.
Cara [4:00 PM]: There was this article on pointsincase. com about this guy who I think goes to BC bitching about how stupid Yankees fans were so I had to write a reply
Trace [4:00 PM]: oh dear
Cara [4:02 PM]: "I don't know; I think the blind naiveté of Red Sox fans is a little harder to swallow than the grammatical errors of the Yankees fans. It doesn't even really matter if the Red Sox are a better team because God, apparently, hates them. Don't know why, but he does.
And Jeter might just swallow, but he's still got more class in his strangely shaped head than that little bitch Pedro has in his whole little bitch body.
Though really, it's sweet that you guys think you'll win year after year. Endearing even."
Trace [4:03 PM]: CARA
Trace [4:03 PM]: you're going to be JUMPED
Cara [4:04 PM]: I'm not writing my NAME
Trace [4:04 PM]: STILL
Trace [4:04 PM]: ISP address..or..something on... CSI
Cara [4:04 PM]: Well. Then my daddy will kill him
Trace [4:05 PM]: Once youre DEAD
Trace [4:05 PM]: really though, send the germans after him.
Cara [4:05 PM]: It didn't list my email or my name
Cara [4:05 PM]: Yeah. Because they'll write a really amelodic piece of music shunning them
Trace [4:05 PM]: efficiently!
Cara [4:05 PM]: And with boots
Cara [4:07 PM]: And I never said the Red Sox were bad. I just said God hates them. Which is true
Cara [4:10 PM]: Woo. New Strong Bad with a song
Cara [4:14 PM]: No, Christine, the zipcode is not '216' because that's three numbers
Trace [4:16 PM]: LMAO
Cara [4:16 PM]: But she didn't know our address either, so there you go
Trace [4:23 PM]: the twins dont know where they live. thats always amusing when I forget.
Cara [4:24 PM]: How can you not know what building you live in? I don't understand
Trace [4:25 PM]: nono, their house. their house of ever
Cara [4:25 PM]: ....that makes even less sense
Cara [4:25 PM]: Were they in Memento?
Trace [4:25 PM]: they dont know what street theyre on or what exit off the highway they LIVE off of. or, like, directions-east, west..
Cara [4:25 PM]: HOW?
Trace [4:25 PM]: Theyre.......rich?
Cara [4:26 PM]: But rich people have to know what DOOR to go into
Cara [4:26 PM]: It's not like not knowing how to change a tire
Trace [4:26 PM]: they gave me the wrong directions twice.
Cara [4:26 PM]: But...but
Trace [4:27 PM]: Yup.
Cara [4:27 PM]: Gargh
Cara [4:27 PM]: How many times are we gonna be taking the T tonight?
Trace [4:27 PM]: One.... two... THREE ha, ha, ha.
Cara [4:28 PM]: Heee
Cara [4:28 PM]: Just wanted to know how many tokens to buy
Trace [4:28 PM]: to the pru....back.... and then home
Cara [4:28 PM]: Yes. Three. Ah-ah-ah
Cara [4:30 PM]: I was really tired in 1st Amendment today and my professor was like 'Why are you so out of it?' and I said '...Not because there was a really good episode of the West Wing on'
Trace [4:32 PM]: LOL and?
Cara [4:32 PM]: He asked which one and I told him and he said 'Oh. Yeah. that is a good one' and I said 'That's what I'm saying!'
Trace [4:32 PM]: sweet
Cara [4:33 PM]: Then I had to listen to my Dire Straits CD a few times
Cara [4:33 PM]: I didn't tell him it was because I was heartbroken because my friend never got me my fictional Jewish politician
Cara [4:33 PM]: That came up later anyway
Trace [4:33 PM]: You know. I didnt want to have to tell you this. But I called him? And he turned you down.
Cara [4:34 PM]: You're a filthy liar
Trace [4:34 PM]: Denial.
Cara [4:34 PM]: There are Republicans to fight
Cara [4:34 PM]: And I'm a bitchy brunette. That's his type
Cara [4:35 PM]: We somehow got onto the subjects of JAPs and this kid said 'Well, you'll have to marry a doctor' and I said 'No, I can marry Josh Lyman. It'll just be difficult. He'll have to make the transition' and the kid, Jeremy goes 'From what?' and I'm like 'Fictional to...actual'
Trace [4:35 PM]: He likes fictional women. He's one of those. A ficcie.
Cara [4:36 PM]: Fucker
Cara [4:37 PM]: But not AFTER I put him in the Make-It-Real machine
Trace [4:39 PM]: can we put the narnia wardrobe in too?
Cara [4:39 PM]: And the Mary Poppins bag
Cara [4:40 PM]: But do you really want to go through a piece of furniture into a big Christian allegory?
Trace [4:40 PM]: I could charge others to?
Cara [4:41 PM]: Yeah but...then we could never let them out again because they'd be impossible to live with
Trace [4:41 PM]: prisoners.
Cara [4:41 PM]: Do you want a prison full of Christian zealots?
Trace [4:42 PM]: they arent GOING to prison, asshole. we're putting prisoners into the WARDROBE and reducing TAXES. and absolving crime.
Cara [4:42 PM]: Oooh. Okay. Good plan. We'll need to put a lock on the wardrobe
Trace [4:44 PM]: hopefully a better one than my lisa frank ice-cream-cone one.
Cara [4:44 PM]: Well, it'll also have a big 'Keep Out' sign
Trace [4:46 PM]: Oooh we could make lures. "Young Miss Beauty Pageant This Way!" "Old Ladies with full wallets and trusting natures RIGHT through these DOORS!"
Cara [4:46 PM]: First we'd take their wallets, right?
Cara [4:47 PM]: Oh. Wait.
Cara [4:47 PM]: Just hit me over the head with a book
Trace [4:47 PM]: LMFAO Ypu just got caught in the wardrobe, you bumbling ninny!
Cara [4:47 PM]: I was going to take the purses before they went into the wardrobe. Then I realized
Trace [4:47 PM]: shall I wave something shiny in front of you?
Cara [4:48 PM]: Oh fuck you. You're distracted by bouncy things
Trace [4:48 PM]: youre being molested by vile pedophile burglar inmates!
Trace [4:48 PM]: In an ARMOIR.
Cara [4:48 PM]: I can't be molested by a pedophile, I'm not a child. So THERE
Trace [4:49 PM]: they dont ID in the wardrobe.
Cara [4:50 PM]: I'm going to bring one
Cara [4:50 PM]: Or wear a shirt that says 'I'm 20'
Trace [4:50 PM]: LMAO what if you only get one item?
Cara [4:50 PM]: I'll say I have herpes?
Trace [4:51 PM]: ...everyone in the wardrobe has herpes. even the goat-man
Cara [4:51 PM]: Well. They'll see by my mature looks that I obviously am NOT under 18
Trace [4:51 PM]: you could kill the ice queen or whatever and take over?
Cara [4:52 PM]: And...rule over a bunch of criminals who wouldn't listen to me?
Trace [4:52 PM]: you have the power of CHILL
Cara [4:52 PM]: So do JAZZ MUSICIANS
Trace [4:52 PM]: and not like. . . .
Trace [4:52 PM]: okay, bite me.
Cara [4:52 PM]: Heeeee
Cara [4:52 PM]: I'd rather rule over useful minions
Trace [4:53 PM]: trying to think of that saxophone guy on the simpsons.
Trace [4:53 PM]: useful minions like WHO?
Cara [4:53 PM]: Bleeding Gums Murphy?
Cara [4:53 PM]: Like...BATMAN
Trace [4:53 PM]: Yeah, chill like him.
Trace [4:53 PM]: Batman is not a MINION
Cara [4:53 PM]: He would be if I were QUEEN
Cara [4:53 PM]: They'd ALL be minions
Trace [4:54 PM]: Minions in gotham city are like...dumb, maliable humans and PENGUINS
Cara [4:54 PM]: That's because there's no SOVEREIGN
Trace [4:54 PM]: Whatre you gonna call yourself? Poison Bitchy?
Cara [4:55 PM]: Cara, Queen of All That Is Good and Pure and Also Some Things That Are Swervy
Trace [4:55 PM]: oh, thats gonna win batman
Cara [4:55 PM]: I'll get him a new car
Trace [4:55 PM]: he has the BEST CAR
Cara [4:55 PM]: I'll get him a BETTER ONE
Trace [4:55 PM]: whats he want, like, a jetta?
Cara [4:55 PM]: I'll have one specially made. It'll fly and make smoothies
Trace [4:56 PM]: "The BATHUMMER" sounds too kinky, cara.
Cara [4:56 PM]: Well. If the car itself doesn't convince him..
Trace [4:56 PM]: whore.
Cara [4:56 PM]: It's for the good of the nation!
Cara [4:56 PM]: Especially if it's George Clooney batman
Trace [4:57 PM]: Queen Whore'n'Swervy
Cara [4:57 PM]: That would defintely attract minions, I'd think
Cara [4:57 PM]: And then I could do the whole Elizabeth 'No, really, I'm a virgin queen' thing
Trace [4:58 PM]: Okay, Rasputin
Cara [4:58 PM]: I'm not going to get shot, stabbed, burned and drowned
Trace [4:59 PM]: I'm just likening your minions s'all
Cara [4:59 PM]: You can be Vice Queen
Trace [4:59 PM]: Sweet!
Trace [5:00 PM]: Oh, you mean. Well still.
Trace [5:00 PM]: Itll look good on a resume.
Cara [5:00 PM]: Hahahaha. You can be Vice Queen AND Queen of Vice
Trace [5:00 PM]: Okay. That way you...dont have to whore with me.
Trace [5:01 PM]: So is Gotham City now IN the wardrobe?
Cara [5:01 PM]: Well, I'll still do it for fun
Cara [5:01 PM]: No. Just Batman
Trace [5:02 PM]: Oooh, can the criminals be, like, Oceans Eleven and Thomas Crown Affair? Because.. Brad Pitt, George Clooney (2), and Pierce Brosnan.
Trace [5:02 PM]: And Matt Damon, right?
Cara [5:02 PM]: Well. I'd rather they were working FOR us
Cara [5:03 PM]: I think so
Trace [5:03 PM]: unminiscule minions.
Cara [5:03 PM]: They're Special Ops
Trace [5:03 PM]: in the land of snow and trees?
Cara [5:03 PM]: There might be renegade frost, shut up
Trace [5:05 PM]: In the middle of the Winter Ball? So that they can be called out of the formal and combat negative forces in Tuxes?
Cara [5:05 PM]: Or we could just make tuxes their uniform
Cara [5:06 PM]: Narnia's just becoming so much more appealing
Trace [5:07 PM]: Hm. A land inside furniture where the miscreants all experiment with power-driven homosexual acts.
Cara [5:07 PM]: Nononono
Cara [5:07 PM]: We can't have sex with them if they're all gay
Trace [5:07 PM]: but- theyre STRAIGHT
Trace [5:07 PM]: they come from the cellblocks, Cara. they already have heirarchies and stuff.
Cara [5:08 PM]: I think the Christian allegory's kind of gone to hell now
Cara [5:08 PM]: It's like putting a hedonism club where the Little Prince lives
Trace [5:08 PM]: you cant expect them to come to a new land with a new ruler and just stop raping one another in a sexy nonviolent romantic way for my pleasure, because hey, it's my vice.
Cara [5:08 PM]: Oh fine. But not ALL of them. Only half of the hot ones
Trace [5:08 PM]: fiiiiiiine
Cara [5:09 PM]: You're so difficult
Trace [5:09 PM]: I call........matt and brad. because...cmon.
Cara [5:09 PM]: Okay. But I get Cillian Murphy
Trace [5:09 PM]: ooh. I get..... JOHNNY DEPP
Cara [5:09 PM]: YOU DO NOT
Trace [5:09 PM]: he's a pirate, you know.
Trace [5:09 PM]: I DO SO.
Cara [5:09 PM]: You don't get Brad AND Johnny Depp
Cara [5:10 PM]: That's not FAIR
Trace [5:10 PM]: you called Orlando eons ago. I get Depp
Cara [5:10 PM]: I don't want Orlando anymore
Cara [5:10 PM]: You can have him. He's gayer anyway
Trace [5:10 PM]: too bad you cant UNcall celebrities we're imaginging fucking!
Cara [5:10 PM]: I CAN TOO
Cara [5:10 PM]: Cillian has replaced Orlando in my pretty-boy-loving heart!
Trace [5:11 PM]: you can NOT Cara Whore-n-Swerve!
Cara [5:11 PM]: I'm the QUEEN. I can do whatever I WANT
Trace [5:12 PM]: I dont get Depp for gay, I just GET him
Cara [5:12 PM]: No you don't
Cara [5:12 PM]: He's too hot not to share
Trace [5:12 PM]: Ew, Cara.
Cara [5:12 PM]: Not THAT way
Trace [5:12 PM]: not in my job description
Cara [5:13 PM]: In an 'I get him every other week' kind of way
Trace [5:13 PM]: okay but I get him FIRST
Cara [5:13 PM]: FINE
Trace [5:13 PM]: hell be more grateful to have you, then
Cara [5:13 PM]: Yeah, because I won't make him KISS GUYS
Trace [5:13 PM]: hehehe....giggle....
Cara [5:14 PM]: Who else...
Trace [5:14 PM]: you can keep..tallying men
Cara [5:14 PM]: I want the guy who played Spiers in Band of Brothers. And Eieoeoeoen Bailey
Cara [5:14 PM]: I will
Trace [5:14 PM]: and Nick Stahl? hes cute
Cara [5:15 PM]: I don't know whot hat is
Trace [5:15 PM]: a hat goes on your head
Cara [5:15 PM]: hee. Who THAT IS
Trace [5:15 PM]: wait...still laughing at the hat...
Cara [5:15 PM]: Me too
Cara [5:15 PM]: I'm still laughing at 'whot'
Trace [5:16 PM]: yes, yes
Trace [5:16 PM]: we amuse easily.
Trace [5:16 PM]: hes in In The Bedroom
Cara [5:16 PM]: Ooooh. You can have him
Trace [5:16 PM]: okay
Cara [5:16 PM]: Since you actually knew who he was
Trace [5:16 PM]: can I have the Life as a House guy too?
Cara [5:16 PM]: I was just thinking about him
Cara [5:16 PM]: Yeah
Cara [5:16 PM]: I want Rob Lowe
Trace [5:17 PM]: hayden christensen
Trace [5:17 PM]: .....cara
Cara [5:17 PM]: What?
Trace [5:17 PM]: Rob LOWE?
Cara [5:17 PM]: He's going to be dressed in preppy clothes and whipping around on a sailboat all the time
Cara [5:17 PM]: He's PRETTY
Trace [5:18 PM]: I get whatshisname from ...okay the CAST of.... Queer As Folk.
Cara [5:18 PM]: Hahahaha. Fine
Trace [5:18 PM]: and will. Id do will.
Cara [5:18 PM]: And I get Sark. And Vaughn
Trace [5:18 PM]: fiiine
Cara [5:18 PM]: Go shower
Trace [5:18 PM]: yes my queen
Cara [5:18 PM]: Hahahhaha
Cara [5:18 PM]: I command it
Cara [10:15 PM]: And I DIDN'T die. So there
Auto response from Trace [10:15 PM]: The Vice Queen, Queen of Vice is out to food court gourmet and Vagina Monologues with the Whore'n'Swervy Queen of the New Narnia for Criminal Masterminds and Sexy Minions.
Trace [10:21 PM]: bite me
Cara [10:21 PM]: Yeah, I'm sorry I'm still aLIVE
Trace [10:23 PM]: I meant hours...hours.
Cara [10:23 PM]: You did not
Cara [10:23 PM]: You're the worst demon seed EVER
Trace [10:26 PM]: mm, milkshake
Cara [10:26 PM]: Shut up
Trace [10:27 PM]: so simple, so ingenius
Cara [10:27 PM]: Like Urkel
Trace [10:27 PM]: I should really stop buying these and get a blender
Cara [10:27 PM]: Probably
Trace [10:31 PM]: probably! theyre four dollars
Cara [10:31 PM]: Well, you're quite obviously a fiscal idiot
Trace [10:34 PM]: hahaha Im watching batman
Cara [10:34 PM]: Ask him to come to our Eden!
Trace [10:37 PM]: hes sowrdfighting
Cara [10:38 PM]: sowrdfighing, huh?
Cara [10:38 PM]: ...fighting
Trace [10:38 PM]: ha
Cara [10:38 PM]: I hate when I typo your typo
Trace [10:38 PM]: but we bond.
Cara [10:38 PM]: Covalently
Trace [10:38 PM]: I asked him. He said "we're going to need help"
Cara [10:39 PM]: Superman can come
Trace [10:39 PM]: Ill ask.
Cara [10:39 PM]: Good
Trace [10:40 PM]: hes with wonderwoman and people I cantidentify, in tights
Cara [10:40 PM]: Well. Fine. Ask Aquaman
Trace [10:40 PM]: commercial
Cara [10:41 PM]: Okay. Ask Mr. Clean
Trace [10:43 PM]: I bought buttermilk rolls. Im dead serious
Cara [10:43 PM]: Good. Because buttermilk rolls are not a laughing matter
Trace [10:44 PM]: fuck you.
Cara [10:44 PM]: I'm serious. Dairy farmers' wives have died. Died!
Trace [10:46 PM]: *You'll* die if I have to make 8 to eat one
Cara [10:46 PM]: Considering I only HAVE FIFTEEN HOURS TO LIVE ANYWAY
Trace [10:48 PM]: Fourteen, you up-rounder
Cara [10:48 PM]: Who's gonna go to China Town with you NOW?
Trace [10:48 PM]: aw...
Cara [10:48 PM]: ExACTLY
Cara [3:22 PM]: Hahaha. I bet she's winking, too
Cara [3:27 PM]: This guy I know quotes Ayn Rand like she's the second coming. Except the part where she's a crazy socialist
Trace [3:28 PM]: LMAO Ive met those. But theyre usually, yknow, in 9th grade reading her for the first time and the kids are all, "Wowzers! This is like, totally different from The Bobsey Twins."
Trace [3:28 PM]: And in the 50's.
Cara [3:28 PM]: Haha. He's 22
Trace [3:29 PM]: exactly.
Cara [3:29 PM]: He's like 'Well, Ayn Rand says...' and I'm like 'Yeah, she also says down with capitalism, you stupid money lover'
Cara [3:33 PM]: Of course he's the same guy who said that this girl at his church who won an award for all her volunteering shouldn't have because she was a bit of a slut
Trace [3:34 PM]: Thats volunteering of a different degree
Cara [3:34 PM]: Exactly
Cara [3:34 PM]: She had all the bases covered
Cara [3:34 PM]: Besides, her volunteering and screwing people was still doing more for society than his not volunteering and Catholic prudishness
Trace [3:35 PM]: he was volunteering to god.
Cara [3:35 PM]: To be a dick
Cara [3:35 PM]: There are enough dicks workin' for God
Trace [3:36 PM]: priest..... joke.....
Cara [3:36 PM]: Resist the urge!
Cara [3:36 PM]: Unlike them
Trace [3:36 PM]: heh heh heh
Cara [3:36 PM]: It's just too easy
Cara [3:37 PM]: God dammit, Ralph Nader pisses me off
Trace [3:43 PM]: LMAO Roy made a special NY dinner for Mom and Kellie to make up for his recent no-carb diet. He made NY apples with "NY cheese" and NY strip steak with "NY water". Kellie's not amused.
Cara [3:43 PM]: Hahahahaha
Cara [3:43 PM]: Yeah. My dad goes on a no-carb diet every two weeks for about two days
Cara [3:44 PM]: But oh, those two days are hell. Mostly because he spends them bitching about how much he wants pizza
Trace [3:44 PM]: yeah apparently thats been roy too. buuuut hes making me what I want while Im there
Cara [3:44 PM]: Yeah, my mom always does that because she says if I don't eat carbs I'll just eat fruit and chocolate
Trace [3:44 PM]: Im like "Oh no, Kalamati Pasta. Now."
Cara [3:44 PM]: Hahaha
Trace [3:45 PM]: my requests have been chowder, pasta, and mexican, so he's screwed
Cara [3:45 PM]: Mm Mexican
Trace [3:45 PM]: mmmm....
Cara [3:46 PM]: My mom's like 'So, all you'll need when you come home will be a new box of crayons, a fresh pad of paper and chocolate, right?'
Trace [3:46 PM]: LMAO
Trace [3:46 PM]: she KNOWS you
Cara [3:46 PM]: and I said 'Actually, Trace got me a variety of Care Bears coloring books, but that's another story for another time
Cara [3:46 PM]: Haha. And she also said a big box for me to play in. Which I haven't done in a couple years, now, thankyouverymuch
Cara [3:46 PM]: Oh, you know what I hate?
Trace [3:47 PM]: Yes?
Cara [3:47 PM]: This happened to me Saturday night. When you're on a first date and the movie has strippers gyrating around and you're not familiar enough with the person you're on the date with to be comfortable with naked people on screen
Trace [3:48 PM]: oooh or when thats just on tv and youre caught in a room with parents or strangers.
Cara [3:48 PM]: Yes. I hate that
Trace [3:48 PM]: Yup.
Cara [3:48 PM]: You just glance sideways at them and shift
Trace [3:48 PM]: hahaha and its awful
Cara [3:48 PM]: And before the strippers there was a preview for the Dreamers and I was just like 'arrrgh'
Trace [3:50 PM]: Dreamers?
Cara [3:50 PM]: I think I actually want to see it
Cara [3:51 PM]: It's about this American who goes to Paris in the '60's and he's big on movies and he meets this girl and her brother who are big on movies and goes to live with them
Trace [3:51 PM]: um. ew
Cara [3:51 PM]: No, but it's all sex and betrayal and that kind of thing
Trace [3:51 PM]: you should have just been like. "this is ok. language barrier. he doesnt know what strippers..are"
Cara [3:52 PM]: Right. He thinks the naked Japanese girls standing on their heads are planters
Trace [3:52 PM]: still, I bet you'd prefer that preview to, like, the rerelease of Schindler's List on DVD
Cara [3:52 PM]: LMAO
Cara [3:53 PM]: 'Do you want to go see the Pianist?' 'No!No!'
Trace [3:54 PM]: "Hey, Life is Beauti-" "NO"
Cara [3:54 PM]: 'Sophie's Choice?' 'It didn't happen! It didn't happen!'
Trace [3:55 PM]: hahaha, my english teacher just showed us the three minutes where you see what sophie's choice IS. blast her
Cara [3:55 PM]: My history teacher did that to us in 8th grade!
Cara [3:55 PM]: I was like 'what the FUCK'
Trace [3:59 PM]: I thought Ashley was being curt with me, but she said xoxoxo... and who can argue that?
Cara [3:59 PM]: Hahahaha
Trace [4:00 PM]: it means -hugs- and -kisses-.
Cara [4:00 PM]: There was this article on pointsincase. com about this guy who I think goes to BC bitching about how stupid Yankees fans were so I had to write a reply
Trace [4:00 PM]: oh dear
Cara [4:02 PM]: "I don't know; I think the blind naiveté of Red Sox fans is a little harder to swallow than the grammatical errors of the Yankees fans. It doesn't even really matter if the Red Sox are a better team because God, apparently, hates them. Don't know why, but he does.
And Jeter might just swallow, but he's still got more class in his strangely shaped head than that little bitch Pedro has in his whole little bitch body.
Though really, it's sweet that you guys think you'll win year after year. Endearing even."
Trace [4:03 PM]: CARA
Trace [4:03 PM]: you're going to be JUMPED
Cara [4:04 PM]: I'm not writing my NAME
Trace [4:04 PM]: STILL
Trace [4:04 PM]: ISP address..or..something on... CSI
Cara [4:04 PM]: Well. Then my daddy will kill him
Trace [4:05 PM]: Once youre DEAD
Trace [4:05 PM]: really though, send the germans after him.
Cara [4:05 PM]: It didn't list my email or my name
Cara [4:05 PM]: Yeah. Because they'll write a really amelodic piece of music shunning them
Trace [4:05 PM]: efficiently!
Cara [4:05 PM]: And with boots
Cara [4:07 PM]: And I never said the Red Sox were bad. I just said God hates them. Which is true
Cara [4:10 PM]: Woo. New Strong Bad with a song
Cara [4:14 PM]: No, Christine, the zipcode is not '216' because that's three numbers
Trace [4:16 PM]: LMAO
Cara [4:16 PM]: But she didn't know our address either, so there you go
Trace [4:23 PM]: the twins dont know where they live. thats always amusing when I forget.
Cara [4:24 PM]: How can you not know what building you live in? I don't understand
Trace [4:25 PM]: nono, their house. their house of ever
Cara [4:25 PM]: ....that makes even less sense
Cara [4:25 PM]: Were they in Memento?
Trace [4:25 PM]: they dont know what street theyre on or what exit off the highway they LIVE off of. or, like, directions-east, west..
Cara [4:25 PM]: HOW?
Trace [4:25 PM]: Theyre.......rich?
Cara [4:26 PM]: But rich people have to know what DOOR to go into
Cara [4:26 PM]: It's not like not knowing how to change a tire
Trace [4:26 PM]: they gave me the wrong directions twice.
Cara [4:26 PM]: But...but
Trace [4:27 PM]: Yup.
Cara [4:27 PM]: Gargh
Cara [4:27 PM]: How many times are we gonna be taking the T tonight?
Trace [4:27 PM]: One.... two... THREE ha, ha, ha.
Cara [4:28 PM]: Heee
Cara [4:28 PM]: Just wanted to know how many tokens to buy
Trace [4:28 PM]: to the pru....back.... and then home
Cara [4:28 PM]: Yes. Three. Ah-ah-ah
Cara [4:30 PM]: I was really tired in 1st Amendment today and my professor was like 'Why are you so out of it?' and I said '...Not because there was a really good episode of the West Wing on'
Trace [4:32 PM]: LOL and?
Cara [4:32 PM]: He asked which one and I told him and he said 'Oh. Yeah. that is a good one' and I said 'That's what I'm saying!'
Trace [4:32 PM]: sweet
Cara [4:33 PM]: Then I had to listen to my Dire Straits CD a few times
Cara [4:33 PM]: I didn't tell him it was because I was heartbroken because my friend never got me my fictional Jewish politician
Cara [4:33 PM]: That came up later anyway
Trace [4:33 PM]: You know. I didnt want to have to tell you this. But I called him? And he turned you down.
Cara [4:34 PM]: You're a filthy liar
Trace [4:34 PM]: Denial.
Cara [4:34 PM]: There are Republicans to fight
Cara [4:34 PM]: And I'm a bitchy brunette. That's his type
Cara [4:35 PM]: We somehow got onto the subjects of JAPs and this kid said 'Well, you'll have to marry a doctor' and I said 'No, I can marry Josh Lyman. It'll just be difficult. He'll have to make the transition' and the kid, Jeremy goes 'From what?' and I'm like 'Fictional to...actual'
Trace [4:35 PM]: He likes fictional women. He's one of those. A ficcie.
Cara [4:36 PM]: Fucker
Cara [4:37 PM]: But not AFTER I put him in the Make-It-Real machine
Trace [4:39 PM]: can we put the narnia wardrobe in too?
Cara [4:39 PM]: And the Mary Poppins bag
Cara [4:40 PM]: But do you really want to go through a piece of furniture into a big Christian allegory?
Trace [4:40 PM]: I could charge others to?
Cara [4:41 PM]: Yeah but...then we could never let them out again because they'd be impossible to live with
Trace [4:41 PM]: prisoners.
Cara [4:41 PM]: Do you want a prison full of Christian zealots?
Trace [4:42 PM]: they arent GOING to prison, asshole. we're putting prisoners into the WARDROBE and reducing TAXES. and absolving crime.
Cara [4:42 PM]: Oooh. Okay. Good plan. We'll need to put a lock on the wardrobe
Trace [4:44 PM]: hopefully a better one than my lisa frank ice-cream-cone one.
Cara [4:44 PM]: Well, it'll also have a big 'Keep Out' sign
Trace [4:46 PM]: Oooh we could make lures. "Young Miss Beauty Pageant This Way!" "Old Ladies with full wallets and trusting natures RIGHT through these DOORS!"
Cara [4:46 PM]: First we'd take their wallets, right?
Cara [4:47 PM]: Oh. Wait.
Cara [4:47 PM]: Just hit me over the head with a book
Trace [4:47 PM]: LMFAO Ypu just got caught in the wardrobe, you bumbling ninny!
Cara [4:47 PM]: I was going to take the purses before they went into the wardrobe. Then I realized
Trace [4:47 PM]: shall I wave something shiny in front of you?
Cara [4:48 PM]: Oh fuck you. You're distracted by bouncy things
Trace [4:48 PM]: youre being molested by vile pedophile burglar inmates!
Trace [4:48 PM]: In an ARMOIR.
Cara [4:48 PM]: I can't be molested by a pedophile, I'm not a child. So THERE
Trace [4:49 PM]: they dont ID in the wardrobe.
Cara [4:50 PM]: I'm going to bring one
Cara [4:50 PM]: Or wear a shirt that says 'I'm 20'
Trace [4:50 PM]: LMAO what if you only get one item?
Cara [4:50 PM]: I'll say I have herpes?
Trace [4:51 PM]: ...everyone in the wardrobe has herpes. even the goat-man
Cara [4:51 PM]: Well. They'll see by my mature looks that I obviously am NOT under 18
Trace [4:51 PM]: you could kill the ice queen or whatever and take over?
Cara [4:52 PM]: And...rule over a bunch of criminals who wouldn't listen to me?
Trace [4:52 PM]: you have the power of CHILL
Cara [4:52 PM]: So do JAZZ MUSICIANS
Trace [4:52 PM]: and not like. . . .
Trace [4:52 PM]: okay, bite me.
Cara [4:52 PM]: Heeeee
Cara [4:52 PM]: I'd rather rule over useful minions
Trace [4:53 PM]: trying to think of that saxophone guy on the simpsons.
Trace [4:53 PM]: useful minions like WHO?
Cara [4:53 PM]: Bleeding Gums Murphy?
Cara [4:53 PM]: Like...BATMAN
Trace [4:53 PM]: Yeah, chill like him.
Trace [4:53 PM]: Batman is not a MINION
Cara [4:53 PM]: He would be if I were QUEEN
Cara [4:53 PM]: They'd ALL be minions
Trace [4:54 PM]: Minions in gotham city are like...dumb, maliable humans and PENGUINS
Cara [4:54 PM]: That's because there's no SOVEREIGN
Trace [4:54 PM]: Whatre you gonna call yourself? Poison Bitchy?
Cara [4:55 PM]: Cara, Queen of All That Is Good and Pure and Also Some Things That Are Swervy
Trace [4:55 PM]: oh, thats gonna win batman
Cara [4:55 PM]: I'll get him a new car
Trace [4:55 PM]: he has the BEST CAR
Cara [4:55 PM]: I'll get him a BETTER ONE
Trace [4:55 PM]: whats he want, like, a jetta?
Cara [4:55 PM]: I'll have one specially made. It'll fly and make smoothies
Trace [4:56 PM]: "The BATHUMMER" sounds too kinky, cara.
Cara [4:56 PM]: Well. If the car itself doesn't convince him..
Trace [4:56 PM]: whore.
Cara [4:56 PM]: It's for the good of the nation!
Cara [4:56 PM]: Especially if it's George Clooney batman
Trace [4:57 PM]: Queen Whore'n'Swervy
Cara [4:57 PM]: That would defintely attract minions, I'd think
Cara [4:57 PM]: And then I could do the whole Elizabeth 'No, really, I'm a virgin queen' thing
Trace [4:58 PM]: Okay, Rasputin
Cara [4:58 PM]: I'm not going to get shot, stabbed, burned and drowned
Trace [4:59 PM]: I'm just likening your minions s'all
Cara [4:59 PM]: You can be Vice Queen
Trace [4:59 PM]: Sweet!
Trace [5:00 PM]: Oh, you mean. Well still.
Trace [5:00 PM]: Itll look good on a resume.
Cara [5:00 PM]: Hahahaha. You can be Vice Queen AND Queen of Vice
Trace [5:00 PM]: Okay. That way you...dont have to whore with me.
Trace [5:01 PM]: So is Gotham City now IN the wardrobe?
Cara [5:01 PM]: Well, I'll still do it for fun
Cara [5:01 PM]: No. Just Batman
Trace [5:02 PM]: Oooh, can the criminals be, like, Oceans Eleven and Thomas Crown Affair? Because.. Brad Pitt, George Clooney (2), and Pierce Brosnan.
Trace [5:02 PM]: And Matt Damon, right?
Cara [5:02 PM]: Well. I'd rather they were working FOR us
Cara [5:03 PM]: I think so
Trace [5:03 PM]: unminiscule minions.
Cara [5:03 PM]: They're Special Ops
Trace [5:03 PM]: in the land of snow and trees?
Cara [5:03 PM]: There might be renegade frost, shut up
Trace [5:05 PM]: In the middle of the Winter Ball? So that they can be called out of the formal and combat negative forces in Tuxes?
Cara [5:05 PM]: Or we could just make tuxes their uniform
Cara [5:06 PM]: Narnia's just becoming so much more appealing
Trace [5:07 PM]: Hm. A land inside furniture where the miscreants all experiment with power-driven homosexual acts.
Cara [5:07 PM]: Nononono
Cara [5:07 PM]: We can't have sex with them if they're all gay
Trace [5:07 PM]: but- theyre STRAIGHT
Trace [5:07 PM]: they come from the cellblocks, Cara. they already have heirarchies and stuff.
Cara [5:08 PM]: I think the Christian allegory's kind of gone to hell now
Cara [5:08 PM]: It's like putting a hedonism club where the Little Prince lives
Trace [5:08 PM]: you cant expect them to come to a new land with a new ruler and just stop raping one another in a sexy nonviolent romantic way for my pleasure, because hey, it's my vice.
Cara [5:08 PM]: Oh fine. But not ALL of them. Only half of the hot ones
Trace [5:08 PM]: fiiiiiiine
Cara [5:09 PM]: You're so difficult
Trace [5:09 PM]: I call........matt and brad. because...cmon.
Cara [5:09 PM]: Okay. But I get Cillian Murphy
Trace [5:09 PM]: ooh. I get..... JOHNNY DEPP
Cara [5:09 PM]: YOU DO NOT
Trace [5:09 PM]: he's a pirate, you know.
Trace [5:09 PM]: I DO SO.
Cara [5:09 PM]: You don't get Brad AND Johnny Depp
Cara [5:10 PM]: That's not FAIR
Trace [5:10 PM]: you called Orlando eons ago. I get Depp
Cara [5:10 PM]: I don't want Orlando anymore
Cara [5:10 PM]: You can have him. He's gayer anyway
Trace [5:10 PM]: too bad you cant UNcall celebrities we're imaginging fucking!
Cara [5:10 PM]: I CAN TOO
Cara [5:10 PM]: Cillian has replaced Orlando in my pretty-boy-loving heart!
Trace [5:11 PM]: you can NOT Cara Whore-n-Swerve!
Cara [5:11 PM]: I'm the QUEEN. I can do whatever I WANT
Trace [5:12 PM]: I dont get Depp for gay, I just GET him
Cara [5:12 PM]: No you don't
Cara [5:12 PM]: He's too hot not to share
Trace [5:12 PM]: Ew, Cara.
Cara [5:12 PM]: Not THAT way
Trace [5:12 PM]: not in my job description
Cara [5:13 PM]: In an 'I get him every other week' kind of way
Trace [5:13 PM]: okay but I get him FIRST
Cara [5:13 PM]: FINE
Trace [5:13 PM]: hell be more grateful to have you, then
Cara [5:13 PM]: Yeah, because I won't make him KISS GUYS
Trace [5:13 PM]: hehehe....giggle....
Cara [5:14 PM]: Who else...
Trace [5:14 PM]: you can keep..tallying men
Cara [5:14 PM]: I want the guy who played Spiers in Band of Brothers. And Eieoeoeoen Bailey
Cara [5:14 PM]: I will
Trace [5:14 PM]: and Nick Stahl? hes cute
Cara [5:15 PM]: I don't know whot hat is
Trace [5:15 PM]: a hat goes on your head
Cara [5:15 PM]: hee. Who THAT IS
Trace [5:15 PM]: wait...still laughing at the hat...
Cara [5:15 PM]: Me too
Cara [5:15 PM]: I'm still laughing at 'whot'
Trace [5:16 PM]: yes, yes
Trace [5:16 PM]: we amuse easily.
Trace [5:16 PM]: hes in In The Bedroom
Cara [5:16 PM]: Ooooh. You can have him
Trace [5:16 PM]: okay
Cara [5:16 PM]: Since you actually knew who he was
Trace [5:16 PM]: can I have the Life as a House guy too?
Cara [5:16 PM]: I was just thinking about him
Cara [5:16 PM]: Yeah
Cara [5:16 PM]: I want Rob Lowe
Trace [5:17 PM]: hayden christensen
Trace [5:17 PM]: .....cara
Cara [5:17 PM]: What?
Trace [5:17 PM]: Rob LOWE?
Cara [5:17 PM]: He's going to be dressed in preppy clothes and whipping around on a sailboat all the time
Cara [5:17 PM]: He's PRETTY
Trace [5:18 PM]: I get whatshisname from ...okay the CAST of.... Queer As Folk.
Cara [5:18 PM]: Hahahaha. Fine
Trace [5:18 PM]: and will. Id do will.
Cara [5:18 PM]: And I get Sark. And Vaughn
Trace [5:18 PM]: fiiine
Cara [5:18 PM]: Go shower
Trace [5:18 PM]: yes my queen
Cara [5:18 PM]: Hahahhaha
Cara [5:18 PM]: I command it
Cara [10:15 PM]: And I DIDN'T die. So there
Auto response from Trace [10:15 PM]: The Vice Queen, Queen of Vice is out to food court gourmet and Vagina Monologues with the Whore'n'Swervy Queen of the New Narnia for Criminal Masterminds and Sexy Minions.
Trace [10:21 PM]: bite me
Cara [10:21 PM]: Yeah, I'm sorry I'm still aLIVE
Trace [10:23 PM]: I meant hours...hours.
Cara [10:23 PM]: You did not
Cara [10:23 PM]: You're the worst demon seed EVER
Trace [10:26 PM]: mm, milkshake
Cara [10:26 PM]: Shut up
Trace [10:27 PM]: so simple, so ingenius
Cara [10:27 PM]: Like Urkel
Trace [10:27 PM]: I should really stop buying these and get a blender
Cara [10:27 PM]: Probably
Trace [10:31 PM]: probably! theyre four dollars
Cara [10:31 PM]: Well, you're quite obviously a fiscal idiot
Trace [10:34 PM]: hahaha Im watching batman
Cara [10:34 PM]: Ask him to come to our Eden!
Trace [10:37 PM]: hes sowrdfighting
Cara [10:38 PM]: sowrdfighing, huh?
Cara [10:38 PM]: ...fighting
Trace [10:38 PM]: ha
Cara [10:38 PM]: I hate when I typo your typo
Trace [10:38 PM]: but we bond.
Cara [10:38 PM]: Covalently
Trace [10:38 PM]: I asked him. He said "we're going to need help"
Cara [10:39 PM]: Superman can come
Trace [10:39 PM]: Ill ask.
Cara [10:39 PM]: Good
Trace [10:40 PM]: hes with wonderwoman and people I cantidentify, in tights
Cara [10:40 PM]: Well. Fine. Ask Aquaman
Trace [10:40 PM]: commercial
Cara [10:41 PM]: Okay. Ask Mr. Clean
Trace [10:43 PM]: I bought buttermilk rolls. Im dead serious
Cara [10:43 PM]: Good. Because buttermilk rolls are not a laughing matter
Trace [10:44 PM]: fuck you.
Cara [10:44 PM]: I'm serious. Dairy farmers' wives have died. Died!
Trace [10:46 PM]: *You'll* die if I have to make 8 to eat one
Cara [10:46 PM]: Considering I only HAVE FIFTEEN HOURS TO LIVE ANYWAY
Trace [10:48 PM]: Fourteen, you up-rounder
Cara [10:48 PM]: Who's gonna go to China Town with you NOW?
Trace [10:48 PM]: aw...
Cara [10:48 PM]: ExACTLY