My husband had this sent to him...(hope n one takes offence)

[sassy_simone]

THINGS TO NEVER SAY TO A COP
>> >
>> > 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my
>> > beer. (OK in Texas)
>> >
>> > 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar
>> > detector wasn't plugged in.
>> >
>> > 3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
>> >
>> > 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to
>> > keep up with me. Good job!
>> >
>> > 5. Are You Andy or Barney?
>> >
>> > 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good
>> > physical condition to be a police officer.
>> >
>> > 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
>> >
>> > 8. I pay your salary!
>> >
>> > 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer
>> > only gave me a warning, too!
>> >
>> > 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just
>> > so one of us does.
>> >
>> > 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I
>> > know there are no other cars around. That's how far
>> > ahead of me they are.
>> >
>> > 12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes
>> > look red, have you been drinking?" You probably
>> > shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look
>> > glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
>> >