and I let my heart bleed...
have to work tomorrow @ 8am and be super cheerful and say "happy mother's day" to every single lady I see...but how can I if I can't fucking stop crying??
I just spent the last couple hours going through pictures of my grandpa, and 99% of them were of me and him.
I feel so guilty. and selfish. selfish b/c I want MY grandpa back (just like I'm sure my daddy wants HIS dad back), and guilty b/c I have never gotten up enough money saved to go see him in Florida. now I have to beg for money for a plane ticket to get to Florida for his memorial. I feel like the worst granddaughter ever, but I know in my heart, that's not true. I know my grandpa is proud of me. I know he's up in heaven with his son Jay, and hope they're chillin' with Jesus.
Me and my grandpa had a connection, no one else did. My love for Marilyn Monroe, antiques, the 1950's, being so outgoing, my fucked up sense of humor, loving a good stiff drink, being a leader, wanting to build shit from scratch and have a big family---I could go on and on--they all come from my Grandpa.
I don't even care about my birthday anymore, I just wish I could have one minute with my grandpa back!
I just spent the last couple hours going through pictures of my grandpa, and 99% of them were of me and him.
I feel so guilty. and selfish. selfish b/c I want MY grandpa back (just like I'm sure my daddy wants HIS dad back), and guilty b/c I have never gotten up enough money saved to go see him in Florida. now I have to beg for money for a plane ticket to get to Florida for his memorial. I feel like the worst granddaughter ever, but I know in my heart, that's not true. I know my grandpa is proud of me. I know he's up in heaven with his son Jay, and hope they're chillin' with Jesus.
Me and my grandpa had a connection, no one else did. My love for Marilyn Monroe, antiques, the 1950's, being so outgoing, my fucked up sense of humor, loving a good stiff drink, being a leader, wanting to build shit from scratch and have a big family---I could go on and on--they all come from my Grandpa.
I don't even care about my birthday anymore, I just wish I could have one minute with my grandpa back!