things im gonna be when i grow up:
1. Famous - I don't know how, and I don't know why, I just know I'm gonna be famous. I can't act, I sure as fuck can't sing and I dance all, white and stuff. But holy hell, if Paris Hilton can be famous for being fabulous, I can do it WAY better (not to mention I would sport a MUCH nicer weave).
2. Personal Shopper - Live vicariously through peoples money. Whether it be picking out a dress for Lindsey Lohan for the Oscars, or Britney Spears for the Grammys, I could do that shit. Debra Messing? You need new baby clothes for Roman? I do children's clothing too. Nicole Richie? You need matching doggy clothes for Hunny? No shopping will be turned away!
3. Samantha from Sex and the City - Well, minus the whole "sex sex sex" thing. She's a P.R manager! All that woman does is throw parties for new clubs and rock stars! Oh Lord can I do that! My "work" would be the talk of E! and all I would have to do is invite anybody who is anybody at the hottest clubs. The "kiss kiss" thing with a cosmo in one hand? yeah.
4. Sports Agent - No, not Jerry McGuire, he's a fag. Fucking Arli$$ bitches! Just buy and trade sports stars to other teams! Now yeah, I know, I don't really know THAT much about sports, BUT I'M A GIRL! How hot would that be? Not to mention I would get VIP in any country club.
5. Marketing Manager for a video game company - Lord knows this damn industry needs some new marketing angles. If I have to see one more video game commercial say the word "extreme" I will drive to fucking EA's building a crap on someone. I don't know who put it into marketer's minds that people who play video games also climb fucking mountains and are obsessed with the military because that couldn't be more far off base. The only thing that gamers climb is into bed. Military? Fuck it, they just want the guns! Since I care so much about this industry, I think I could do it a far needed change. A fresh look, one may say.
6. Chef - Not like the head chef of "Moe's Fish Shack", but like a real chef ... with a cooking show! Wearing a hot little apron number, cooking good food that real people can cook. I think I would rock at that! Ask Ben, I'm a damn good cook. Preach the word of the slow cooker and the deep fryer!
7. Radio Personality - OK, so Ghita can draw, Ben can play music, Cass knows math, what can I do? What's the trait that I was blessed with? Talking, and the only job I can think of that primarily requires you to talk is on the radio. I would just have to clean up my potty mouth a little bit ...
8. Work at ACS for Nextel's lost and stolen department ... HAHAHA I'M FUNNY!
9. Bartender - You know how on #7, I told you that my only real skill is talking? Well, I think I have 2, drinking. I know with the way I pour drinks, I would cash out the bar in 2 weekends, not to mention get myself sued for not cutting drunks off. But drunk people are funny! Bars are fun! The tips would be hot and if I worked at a music club, I might become "discovered", there by completing job #1!
10. Welder - I wanna make choppers and hot rods like on the Discovery Channel. I know it cant be that tough (I'm starting school for it on Thursday) and they have a union and job stability. And how much fun will that be? Totally tough environment, welding metal to metal. Being in a job that I can actually SEE my work being created, not just taking the next call. Something I can pull into being a real "career". It's a skill, it's a trade, it's what America was founded on! If I don't weld, the terrorists win!
2. Personal Shopper - Live vicariously through peoples money. Whether it be picking out a dress for Lindsey Lohan for the Oscars, or Britney Spears for the Grammys, I could do that shit. Debra Messing? You need new baby clothes for Roman? I do children's clothing too. Nicole Richie? You need matching doggy clothes for Hunny? No shopping will be turned away!
3. Samantha from Sex and the City - Well, minus the whole "sex sex sex" thing. She's a P.R manager! All that woman does is throw parties for new clubs and rock stars! Oh Lord can I do that! My "work" would be the talk of E! and all I would have to do is invite anybody who is anybody at the hottest clubs. The "kiss kiss" thing with a cosmo in one hand? yeah.
4. Sports Agent - No, not Jerry McGuire, he's a fag. Fucking Arli$$ bitches! Just buy and trade sports stars to other teams! Now yeah, I know, I don't really know THAT much about sports, BUT I'M A GIRL! How hot would that be? Not to mention I would get VIP in any country club.
5. Marketing Manager for a video game company - Lord knows this damn industry needs some new marketing angles. If I have to see one more video game commercial say the word "extreme" I will drive to fucking EA's building a crap on someone. I don't know who put it into marketer's minds that people who play video games also climb fucking mountains and are obsessed with the military because that couldn't be more far off base. The only thing that gamers climb is into bed. Military? Fuck it, they just want the guns! Since I care so much about this industry, I think I could do it a far needed change. A fresh look, one may say.
6. Chef - Not like the head chef of "Moe's Fish Shack", but like a real chef ... with a cooking show! Wearing a hot little apron number, cooking good food that real people can cook. I think I would rock at that! Ask Ben, I'm a damn good cook. Preach the word of the slow cooker and the deep fryer!
7. Radio Personality - OK, so Ghita can draw, Ben can play music, Cass knows math, what can I do? What's the trait that I was blessed with? Talking, and the only job I can think of that primarily requires you to talk is on the radio. I would just have to clean up my potty mouth a little bit ...
8. Work at ACS for Nextel's lost and stolen department ... HAHAHA I'M FUNNY!
9. Bartender - You know how on #7, I told you that my only real skill is talking? Well, I think I have 2, drinking. I know with the way I pour drinks, I would cash out the bar in 2 weekends, not to mention get myself sued for not cutting drunks off. But drunk people are funny! Bars are fun! The tips would be hot and if I worked at a music club, I might become "discovered", there by completing job #1!
10. Welder - I wanna make choppers and hot rods like on the Discovery Channel. I know it cant be that tough (I'm starting school for it on Thursday) and they have a union and job stability. And how much fun will that be? Totally tough environment, welding metal to metal. Being in a job that I can actually SEE my work being created, not just taking the next call. Something I can pull into being a real "career". It's a skill, it's a trade, it's what America was founded on! If I don't weld, the terrorists win!