speed bumb
so...we all know that i am the kind of person who is stubborn and wants to have things their way for the most part. well all right that's not the best way to be but it's a hard thing to change. and i've been tested almost every day that dereck and i have been together because he is the same way. and because i seem to have more common sense than he does i know that one of us has to eventually let up and let the other have their way. of course it ends up being me letting him have his way. just this once though..JUST THIS ONCE i wanted this to turn out better for me. this dog is not making our relationship any stronger, in fact, it has definately weakened it. i feel like anything that joins our family should make us feel more tight knit with each other but the opposite has happened here. i dont like her and she doesnt like me. she chews MY shoes pees and poops on MY clothes and just generally does not obey ME. and because none of these things have to do with dereck he is not concerned. I NEVER WANT TO HEAR oh she is just a puppy AGAIN. shes about 6 months old. and while i'll realize she is still a puppy i also realize that she still pees and poops in the house. why? you might ask. because no one is ever around to take her outside! we are all very busy people and dont have time to deal with an animal that needs as much attention as a baby. i try to bring this point up to dereck and he automatically takes it as me not thinking he can take care of an animal. even though that is not what im saying i would have a good reason to feel that way because his cat that i ended up pretty much owning has STILL yet to be neutered he's almost 1 and a half! the dog has not had a bath since she has been in this house and i REFUSE to be the one to give it to her. in fact i dont think she has had a bath since she left the litter. that would be about 2 months with no bathing. and she sits on our couches and cuddles with people. his rreason for not bathing her? .hedoesnthavethetime. waitwait..isn't that the same reason i think we should find her a new owner that does have the time?! YES! oh man. what a craaaaazy idea. i am such a heartless bitch for wanting this dog to have an owner who has the time to love her. then he says well i wont be working at dominoes much longer. im pretty sure he was planning on quitting at the beggining of february. what's today? oh february only has one day left and he STILL works at dominoes. and he just bought a 700 dollar tv that he has to continue to work both jobs to pay off. so estimated quit date is now...whenever he stops buying shit. oh he wants to buy more expensive things that will require him to work another job. this is probably the most disappointed i have ever been with him. im losing my faith in his ability to make good decisions. especially ones that will affect people and animals around him. and it's so upsetting because we were really starting to open up to each other and talk about random shit(yes i realize it took 2 years but we are both the type of people who take forever to feel comfortable with the other person in the relationship)and now we barely talk at all. i refuse to give him an ultimatum because i believe that would be the end of us sad but true. i just absolutely cannot see me living with this super hyper active dog for the rest of her life. and unfortunately it has put an end in sight in my mind to mine and derecks relationship. i can't believe that a fucking animal is going to push me out. fuck dogs and fuck dereck brown.