“People who haven’t red hair don’t know what trouble is.”
OK look. I'm not gonna say being a redhead sucks. Mostly I like it. I get to bask in compliments and it's really easy for people to find me if we get separated in a crowd. But it's not all fun and games, kids.
Already we start off with a little extra suck because redheads can require as much as higher doses of anesthetics than non-ginger folk (why did I look up that link when I'm going to the dentist tomorrow?!). Since we tend to be pale, we bruise like fruit as well. And you can just forget ever blending into a crowd. I will never be a master criminal or spy unless I defy my father's lifelong crusade and dye my hair, which would most certainly kill him.
If you're lucky enough to be a redhead growing up in the age of South Park, you also get treated to "Kick a Ginger Day," which has actually become a problem in some schools. (Thanks for that, Parker and Stone.) Or maybe you'll just get death threats at school or otherwise pooped upon. (WTF, England?)
We are not, however,going extinct as previously believed. So suck it, haters.
But even still I'm a little freaked out by the new M.I.A. video*, wherein gingers are round up, made to run across a minefield, then shot or beaten to death if they survive it.
*The video at the above link is NOT WORK SAFE. It gets really violent and gory at the end and there's nudity at the beginning and it's just NSFW in a whole lotta ways.
I get what she was going for: we sort of casually accept that terrible things happen to people all over the world because those people don't look like us, so changing the image so that it happens to white people with a defining trait makes for a jarring and thought-provoking product. I'm not even complaining about the message. All I'm saying is, it's freaking me the fuck out. So good job, M.I.A., that shit totally worked on me especially since I totally looked like that kid who gets shot in the head when I was little.
I'm also saying please hug your local redhead/ginger today. Contrary to popular rumor we do in fact have souls and are not in league with Lucifer (usually).
PS: This was written with tongue firmly planted in cheek. I do not believe that I am an oppressed minority. I'm just saying that video is freaky. And since I've been sitting on those other links for months (you should see my "bookmarks" folder) I figured I'd run with it. Please send no flames; my hair has enough already.
(The title is a quote from Anne of Green Gables, a staple read for the young red-haired girl.)
Already we start off with a little extra suck because redheads can require as much as higher doses of anesthetics than non-ginger folk (why did I look up that link when I'm going to the dentist tomorrow?!). Since we tend to be pale, we bruise like fruit as well. And you can just forget ever blending into a crowd. I will never be a master criminal or spy unless I defy my father's lifelong crusade and dye my hair, which would most certainly kill him.
If you're lucky enough to be a redhead growing up in the age of South Park, you also get treated to "Kick a Ginger Day," which has actually become a problem in some schools. (Thanks for that, Parker and Stone.) Or maybe you'll just get death threats at school or otherwise pooped upon. (WTF, England?)
We are not, however,going extinct as previously believed. So suck it, haters.
But even still I'm a little freaked out by the new M.I.A. video*, wherein gingers are round up, made to run across a minefield, then shot or beaten to death if they survive it.
*The video at the above link is NOT WORK SAFE. It gets really violent and gory at the end and there's nudity at the beginning and it's just NSFW in a whole lotta ways.
I get what she was going for: we sort of casually accept that terrible things happen to people all over the world because those people don't look like us, so changing the image so that it happens to white people with a defining trait makes for a jarring and thought-provoking product. I'm not even complaining about the message. All I'm saying is, it's freaking me the fuck out. So good job, M.I.A., that shit totally worked on me especially since I totally looked like that kid who gets shot in the head when I was little.
I'm also saying please hug your local redhead/ginger today. Contrary to popular rumor we do in fact have souls and are not in league with Lucifer (usually).
PS: This was written with tongue firmly planted in cheek. I do not believe that I am an oppressed minority. I'm just saying that video is freaky. And since I've been sitting on those other links for months (you should see my "bookmarks" folder) I figured I'd run with it. Please send no flames; my hair has enough already.
(The title is a quote from Anne of Green Gables, a staple read for the young red-haired girl.)