(no subject)
You've all heard of the Island of Misfit Toys. But have you heard of the Road of Smooshed Animals?
Once upon a time, there was a dark road littered with cute cartoon animals turned into tragically immobile zombies by bad drivers. These poor undead forest creatures cried out in agony, the tire tracks across their flattened spines like scarlet letters declaring the shame that they could not hunt for the brains they so richly desired.
But then one day the Michelin Man came! And he tore out his own stomach - TWICE! - so that a car driven by the sort of idiot who speeds downhill on a dark forest road at night would be able to stop before smooshing the only living bunny on Smooshed Animal Road.
Then all the zombie animals were magically rendered mobile again and did a dance of joy, after which they presumably ate the living bunny's brains.
The End.
•••
If you think the preceding story is further proof that I am insane, then you have yet to be subjected to this:
Once upon a time, there was a dark road littered with cute cartoon animals turned into tragically immobile zombies by bad drivers. These poor undead forest creatures cried out in agony, the tire tracks across their flattened spines like scarlet letters declaring the shame that they could not hunt for the brains they so richly desired.
But then one day the Michelin Man came! And he tore out his own stomach - TWICE! - so that a car driven by the sort of idiot who speeds downhill on a dark forest road at night would be able to stop before smooshing the only living bunny on Smooshed Animal Road.
Then all the zombie animals were magically rendered mobile again and did a dance of joy, after which they presumably ate the living bunny's brains.
The End.
•••
If you think the preceding story is further proof that I am insane, then you have yet to be subjected to this:
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