No motivation what so ever...
I won't make this long tonight but I've had alot on my mind about things going on. But every time I get motivated to do something and I start- I just loose my motivation for it. I'm sleepy all of the time- drinking more coffee and just generally feeling blah lately. No not emotionally- that emotional hurdle I felt earlier is over thank goodness! But physically- even wanting to curl up and write and email or a journal entry or work on my writing from ages ago- kills me. I just loose the interest in doing it. So I just have to get myself into gear some days to do things around the house that needs to be done. And today I woke up with a headache. Naturally I was so busy at work I didn't eat like I should- and that was the cause of my headache.
But oh well; complaining is over onto other things to write about happening at the moment and other things on my mind. I signed my permanent contract at work today and had a conversation with Gerard about what we both wanted for my future - I want accounts and operations and he wants me to be interchangable with both.. Not a problem with me.. I like the way that sounds; if it'll happen. I won't hold my breath but we both know what we want.
Other things- I've had my frustrations with Remco lately; but mostly about stuff that is going on.. And I've yelled at him and instantly regretted it. And of course we all know what it is like living with someone but when it comes down to it; when I get to look at him and see how we are with each other. I realize at this point he drives me insane and I still wanna kill him- but I love him.
Other things though; I haven't been going to the gym lately like I should but oh well- been too lazy and been going a bit insane with things in the end. I've got to settle down with things and start seeing where I can quit wasting time with things. Work has started school starts next week- I got my books for the lessons today. So things are starting up differently... Time to see where it goes!
Ah well I have alot of ambition and alot of things I want to do in life.. I just have to slow down and see where I want to go. But for now I've got to get out of this physical funk- but anyway- onto shower clean house and then come back and write some emails. Try to see if I can beat this gross thing.
But oh well; complaining is over onto other things to write about happening at the moment and other things on my mind. I signed my permanent contract at work today and had a conversation with Gerard about what we both wanted for my future - I want accounts and operations and he wants me to be interchangable with both.. Not a problem with me.. I like the way that sounds; if it'll happen. I won't hold my breath but we both know what we want.
Other things- I've had my frustrations with Remco lately; but mostly about stuff that is going on.. And I've yelled at him and instantly regretted it. And of course we all know what it is like living with someone but when it comes down to it; when I get to look at him and see how we are with each other. I realize at this point he drives me insane and I still wanna kill him- but I love him.
Other things though; I haven't been going to the gym lately like I should but oh well- been too lazy and been going a bit insane with things in the end. I've got to settle down with things and start seeing where I can quit wasting time with things. Work has started school starts next week- I got my books for the lessons today. So things are starting up differently... Time to see where it goes!
Ah well I have alot of ambition and alot of things I want to do in life.. I just have to slow down and see where I want to go. But for now I've got to get out of this physical funk- but anyway- onto shower clean house and then come back and write some emails. Try to see if I can beat this gross thing.