So far behind I think I'm first
My life took off and forgot to take me with it. Seriously. I had all these plans to write the sequel to my big bang (just as I was writing this work called because the server is down and I have been gone for half an hour)
Anyway, my baby - okay, not a baby she's 17 - decided to spend her last year of high school living with her Dad. After much emotional angst, on my part, I got her moved about five hours north. So, that hurt, and I am empty nesting big time. She did post this on her face book though
If I had anyone to look up to, it'd be my mum.
Whether it was when we were arguing, or when we were laughing obnoxiously about the stupid shit I do. She has always been the one to kiss me good night, pat me on the head when I say silly thing, and give me a band-aid when I had hurt anything, only to tell me to “Suck it up Princess.” If I complained about it after.
She the first person I'd choose to sing country songs on a car ride. The first person I'd run to when my heart is broken, or even if it's just a little bruised.
She's the lady that I tell everything to, but keep the secrets to the life I have that she wouldn't want to know about. She's the only one who I show up on time for, and leave later then needed for. My mom is my super hero, my bestfriend, but of course she's my mom over everything. My mom, no one elses. (well.. my sisters too.. but we're talking about me here.) I am hers, and only hers. I love her more then absolutely anything else in the whole entire world. That's why; I miss her more then anything... so much. Every day, every moment, every single thought or smile, or tear, I miss her the mostest. I left for me of course, but.. that doesn't mean I wanted to leave her. I'd pack her up in a box and take her with me if I could, and if y'know she wouldn't go bat shit crazy in this town. I left her where she's most happy, and just want to make her proud. Because, as a daughter that's my second most important job. I think anyway. First of course is loving her no matter what. Not even when she says my hair looks stupid, or she hates my piercings, or tells me to put on pants without any rips in them and I stomp off grumbling and bitching that I can wear whatever I want. I still love her. I'll be there to hold her hand if she needed it, or a hug when she had a crappy day at work, a shoulder to lean on when she's to exhausted to stand up on her own. I'll be that girl that tries to hard to make someone smile when she's upset, even if it's just a half assed smile I get in return. But it's a smile none the less, cos a smile looks best on her face. I love my mommy no matter what she looks like, sounds like, says, or feels. She's my mommy and I miss her a whole lot and I will probably for like.. ever.
So that helped.
Work has been absolutely insane, I'm doing the job of three people and they just keep adding new projects to the pile. I need a raise, big time. Or an assistant. Probably both.
My health is...dodgy. Still taking my meds and avoiding anything that could possibly taste good. Blergh. turnonmyheels if you have any good recipes that are low in sodium send them my way. I am also supposed to avoid stress, which with the above situations has been difficult. On the plus side I have only had two 'episodes' in the last three months so the medication seems to be working. Which also sucks because I do not want to be on heart medication forever.
musing_mia wanted an update so here it is. Love you honey and thanks so much for caring. *smooch*
I am still going to write...a lot of things actually, I just need to slow down for a minute and get my head in the game. Soon, I hope.