From Entertainment Weekly, a take-off of R. Kelly's urban opera "Trapped In The Closet"

[sassandthecity]

"Trapped In The Deli"
One in the afternoon and my tumtum is starting to growl
All I had for breakfast was some Special K, it's enough to make me howl

I step outside the office, it's 84 degrees, the sidewalk smells of steaming trash
Better get inside the corner sandwich shop, before I do something rash

What'll I have today? A grilled chicken sandwich sure sounds yum
But the guy behind the counter poses a question that leaves me numb

He asks, ''What kind of cheese?''
And then I say, ''What kind have you got?''
''Swiss, American, provolone.''

I say, ''Oh my god, this s--- is on!''
And then he says, ''Now hold up, mister, I've only just begun.''

I say, ''no.''
He says, ''Yes.''
''No.''
''Yes.''
''No.''
''Yes.''
''No.''
''Yes.''

He's saying something about pepper Jack and outside it starts to pour
I don't have an umbrella, what the heck did I come here for?

Now I'm trapped in the deli
I really need to leave the deli (the deli)

I really wanted to leave work early (early)
To catch CSI: Miami

But I'm trapped in the deli (the deli) (the deli) (the deli)…