(no subject)
r.i.p i miss you so much aunt margie, so remeber when i went to cali for my birthday last year, well i lost both the cameras, and magicly found one after a year and a half monday morning, so mom got the mdeveloped that day, and i find pics with my and my aunt, iv never been so sad in my lif, and i fucking wish i could be in cali wih my mom right now at the wake, i wish we wernet fucknig poor and could afford more plan tickets cuz this is rediculous, then shes geting cremated, which i think is morbid, ne way theirs gonig to be a service here sometime in august, and half her ashes are being buried with her biological mother who died when she was 5, ne way i kno this probably weird, but if ne of my feriends would like to come, you dont have to ,but idk i dont want to be their with just my family who will jsut make me sader with remeber whens, but idk if ne one would like to come, wow im so weird, nothing seems real ne more, please wake me from this fucknig nightmare i hate life i honestly do, and i wish i could be in cali with my mom right now, cuz it breaks my heart to hear her cry on the fucknig phone, she doesnt desere this shes such a good person who helps out everyone andprays for everyone, and all this shyte with my fuccking " sister" not talknig to her and treating her like shyte for no reason, and my dad being a dick to her, and she works really hard, and to loose her sister, and at first shes still looking on the brightside saying well now everything in court will go my way with my big sister watching out for me, how do you be that possitive after just hearing she past?...and she doesnt deserve me as a daughter, i wouldnt go out with her and chris for dinner that night she died becasue i couldnt deal with everyones remeber whens, i dont want to remeber, it hurts way to fucknig much, ah i jsut want to fucking sleep for fucking ever and never wake the fuck up, and gah i hate life, and i kno someone whos gone thu this shyte lossing her aunt, but she wont return my calls, and i feel so empty, and like its never gonig to feel right again, and its not like i can say that to my fuckni shrink without them friggen giving me more shyte that makes me just feel nothing, that makes me feel dead, i dont want to feel sad but thats better then feeling nothing i think and i dont kno ne more, life sucks so fucking much, i miss you so much