Are there second chances? How do you know when your first one is up?
So here’s the thing: I stopped writing in this journal because I felt like I couldn’t bear to share my little life and it’s stupid little problems. Everything seemed too trite, too stupid or too sordid to share. But upon reflection, I realize that abandoning this journal also meant I abandoned an important outlet for my personal expression. For me. And I realize it takes some courage to say who you are and what you do, even if only in a virtual realm. Journals may not be reality proper, but they do open a little window onto the lives of their authors. I have given up so many things that are part of living that somewhere along the line I gave up most of the things that constitute a life. A lot has happened. I’ve had hotness, I’ve had pain and I’ve had death and I’ve had a heap big helping of despair. And I’ve messed up some stuff. But I’m here. Still here. And though I may have been too foolish, too weak or too devastatingly preoccupied to take the opportunities I’ve had within my grasp, I’m still trying. I’m going to try again. At living.