(no subject)
Last night after work I got some texts from Emily. She was having a really hard day. She asked for her blades back and was going to meet me at Marc's house after her class to get them. She has been doing so well this past week considering the stress she has been under. I had hoped that Chris wouldn't yell at her, but when she told him he needed to back off, he got pissed and yelled at her. I really wish he would just go away and leave her alone. He is not good for her. I wish she could see that and stop communicating with him. Any avenue of communication allows for him to manipulate her. She will never get over him if she keeps subjecting herself to his head games. I want for her to make these decisions, but I'm afraid that he is far too good at twisting her to what he wants. I'm sure she thinks that I don't want her to talk to him purely out of selfish motivations, but that is not the case. It's such a struggle for me because I want her back so badly, but I want her to take this chance to make herself happy. Her mother also yelled at her last night for not being home. I wish her mother could recognize how she is treating Emily, but I don't think that is going to happen. As much as she doesn't like people to say it, I want what's best for her.
I was talking with Kim and Marc outside about what was going on and trying to get insight as to what was happening and hopefully some advice. While we were talking about 9 pm when Em should have been getting out of class, the three of us could have sworn she drove by. Kim tried calling her a couple of times and when she answered she said that she was in class. This was confusing since her class should have been over by then and we thought we just saw her. I was kinda frustrated with the situation. None of us knew what was going on and what to do, so I went for a drive. Kim said I shouldn't go, and that it was a Chris thing to do, but I just needed to clear my head and driving usually helps. I drove around a while and a got some food. I drove back by Marc's to see if Em ever showed up yet. I really wanted to talk to her about what she was feeling. She wasn't there so I figured she wasn't showing so I was gonna see what Matt was up to. On my way there down by the park, I passed Emily coming in from Spoon. She calls me and we talk a minute and she said that she had class late. So I turn around and go back to Marc's. When we get there she pretty much acts like nothing is going on and is happy and tries on a new dress and shoes and shows everybody. I ask her when she is about ready to go if I can talk to her outside about the text she sent me earlier. She agrees and we talk and she tells me how she is feeling and some of the troubles. While we are talking, her mother calls and yells at her about not being home. Add another one to the problem list. I try to reassure her and tell her that everything is going to be alright, but she is tired of people saying that. She doesn't ask for her blades back, so I didn't give them to her. I had them with me and I told her that I wasn't trying to force her from cutting because I was well aware that she could just get more. She agreed that it was probably not a good thing to keep them handy. She then went home after agreeing to try her best not to cut. That's all I ask.
Lifting has been going so shitty lately that I don't even know if I should go today. Nationals is going to be here in about 5 weeks so I need to get something to happen. Lifting hard and heavy and my misery don't seem to mix very well. Funny thing is that Emily felt that she was dragging me down and making me miserable, but I was never lifting heavier than when I was with her...
I was talking with Kim and Marc outside about what was going on and trying to get insight as to what was happening and hopefully some advice. While we were talking about 9 pm when Em should have been getting out of class, the three of us could have sworn she drove by. Kim tried calling her a couple of times and when she answered she said that she was in class. This was confusing since her class should have been over by then and we thought we just saw her. I was kinda frustrated with the situation. None of us knew what was going on and what to do, so I went for a drive. Kim said I shouldn't go, and that it was a Chris thing to do, but I just needed to clear my head and driving usually helps. I drove around a while and a got some food. I drove back by Marc's to see if Em ever showed up yet. I really wanted to talk to her about what she was feeling. She wasn't there so I figured she wasn't showing so I was gonna see what Matt was up to. On my way there down by the park, I passed Emily coming in from Spoon. She calls me and we talk a minute and she said that she had class late. So I turn around and go back to Marc's. When we get there she pretty much acts like nothing is going on and is happy and tries on a new dress and shoes and shows everybody. I ask her when she is about ready to go if I can talk to her outside about the text she sent me earlier. She agrees and we talk and she tells me how she is feeling and some of the troubles. While we are talking, her mother calls and yells at her about not being home. Add another one to the problem list. I try to reassure her and tell her that everything is going to be alright, but she is tired of people saying that. She doesn't ask for her blades back, so I didn't give them to her. I had them with me and I told her that I wasn't trying to force her from cutting because I was well aware that she could just get more. She agreed that it was probably not a good thing to keep them handy. She then went home after agreeing to try her best not to cut. That's all I ask.
Lifting has been going so shitty lately that I don't even know if I should go today. Nationals is going to be here in about 5 weeks so I need to get something to happen. Lifting hard and heavy and my misery don't seem to mix very well. Funny thing is that Emily felt that she was dragging me down and making me miserable, but I was never lifting heavier than when I was with her...