horrid nightmare
I had a nightmare early this morning that woke me up in a shaking fit. It was one of those vivid vivid nasty ones that seem so fucking real while they are going on that it's next to impossible to shake them upon waking.
So, i worked nights in this massive factory - it was literally ginormous and TALL. Like, world trade center tall. I operated this .. chain crane type of thing, lifting pieces of machinery to various parts of the massive complex.
It was raining - representing the water that is always present when i have a nightmare. I knew it was raining, because the entire floor of the factory became a one inch deep puddle that everyone had to walk around in.
In the dream, i had a daughter. She was... 3 or 4, and when i was at work she stayed with a babysitter that lived not far from the factory. Now, for some reason in the middle of the night while i was at work, my daughter decided that she wanted to come see mommy. So, in the way of kids... she did. She got to the factory easily, and began wandering around inside. In the way of dreams, i was still where i was, but could see her and her activities, right? Somehow, she ended up deciding that grabbing onto one of the chains that i was controlling was the best route up to me, seeing as - you know - it was direct. So she grabs onto this chain that is already moving up a shaft and begins to lift upward while clinging on.
Now, she's little. Her grip isn't lasting long. She starts to cry, and i am in a panic because i know that i've got to save her. I need to get the chain moving faster to get her to me, but i also know that if i make it go too fast, it'll hinder her grip further. So i am in a panic, but i am trying to stay calm - because also in the way of dreams, she and i are able to talk to each other. But she's crying and she's losing her grip. I am begging her to please hold on, baby, please hold on. But she whimpers out "I can't, Mommy. I can't. Mommy!" ... and she lets go.
She falls down the shaft, at the bottom of which is some sort of fire-pit formed out of steel i-beams. It's set into the ground, though - like.. the beams are sunk into the cement and the pit is sunk about 3-4 feet into the floor and there's no real barrier between it and the area around it. It isn't actively burning anything, but it had been all day and it was filled to the edge with white-hot ash. My daughter lands more or less safely on her butt at the very edge of the pit, square on the flat edge of the i-beam that forms the edge of it. But she loses her balance and she falls backward into the ash.
I can see her clearly as she starts to burn, and her screams were... god, i don't even have a word for it. I watched my daughter die a horrible fiery death, and i can't get it out of my head.
Ugh. When i recounted this to MK after my shower this morning, i was in tears. He hadda go get me a tissue. Bleh. Bleh. Bleh.
So, i worked nights in this massive factory - it was literally ginormous and TALL. Like, world trade center tall. I operated this .. chain crane type of thing, lifting pieces of machinery to various parts of the massive complex.
It was raining - representing the water that is always present when i have a nightmare. I knew it was raining, because the entire floor of the factory became a one inch deep puddle that everyone had to walk around in.
In the dream, i had a daughter. She was... 3 or 4, and when i was at work she stayed with a babysitter that lived not far from the factory. Now, for some reason in the middle of the night while i was at work, my daughter decided that she wanted to come see mommy. So, in the way of kids... she did. She got to the factory easily, and began wandering around inside. In the way of dreams, i was still where i was, but could see her and her activities, right? Somehow, she ended up deciding that grabbing onto one of the chains that i was controlling was the best route up to me, seeing as - you know - it was direct. So she grabs onto this chain that is already moving up a shaft and begins to lift upward while clinging on.
Now, she's little. Her grip isn't lasting long. She starts to cry, and i am in a panic because i know that i've got to save her. I need to get the chain moving faster to get her to me, but i also know that if i make it go too fast, it'll hinder her grip further. So i am in a panic, but i am trying to stay calm - because also in the way of dreams, she and i are able to talk to each other. But she's crying and she's losing her grip. I am begging her to please hold on, baby, please hold on. But she whimpers out "I can't, Mommy. I can't. Mommy!" ... and she lets go.
She falls down the shaft, at the bottom of which is some sort of fire-pit formed out of steel i-beams. It's set into the ground, though - like.. the beams are sunk into the cement and the pit is sunk about 3-4 feet into the floor and there's no real barrier between it and the area around it. It isn't actively burning anything, but it had been all day and it was filled to the edge with white-hot ash. My daughter lands more or less safely on her butt at the very edge of the pit, square on the flat edge of the i-beam that forms the edge of it. But she loses her balance and she falls backward into the ash.
I can see her clearly as she starts to burn, and her screams were... god, i don't even have a word for it. I watched my daughter die a horrible fiery death, and i can't get it out of my head.
Ugh. When i recounted this to MK after my shower this morning, i was in tears. He hadda go get me a tissue. Bleh. Bleh. Bleh.