Feeling alone in a marriage. What can be done?
Are you feeling alone in a marriage?
You are not alone. Millions of people around the world experience feelings of loneliness around people they love and care about. There could be many reasons for feelings of loneliness in a marriage, because after all everyone is different and is moved by different desires. Let`s look into this problem more closely.
Lonely in marriage
Systems Vector Psychology, depicts 8 vectors, each one having their own group of desires and set of qualities to fulfill them. A typical person has about 3-5 vectors, and is usually attracted to the person with an opposite vectoral set. The nature made it so, that the couple would have better balance to handle the ever changing environment and would be able to reproduce and survive.
The sexual attraction between men and woman typically lasts about 3 years, as it is enough time for the woman to conceive and bring up a child. On the basis of sexual attraction man and woman should create strong emotional bonds between each other, one that would keep them together beyond the three years allocated by nature. Otherwise, one would wake up one morning in the bed with a stranger, the whole attraction would be gone. One would feel alone in this type of marriage and usually such marriages break apart. In the past such marriages existed, as possessions, children and other matters kept people together, but today, in Dermal stage of development, the individual psyche has grown to a such extent where material things do not play such an important role anymore.
Loneliness in marriage. Other reasons?
Assuming, there was a sexual attraction to begin with, to create the marriage, there is one vector that can make you feel alone not only in marriage but also in society as a whole, it is an audial vector. People with audial vector unconsciously search for the meaning of life. They ask questions such as: What is the purpose of life? Why do we live if we are all going to die in the end? How many stars are there in the universe? Their psyche is created in a such way that they are concentrated on the unconsciousness, on non-material, on vibrations, on the underlying meaning of things and have an abstract intellect to handle that. That is why people with audial vector pay so much attention to the voice of the partner and prefer quite environment, as the ear is their erogeneous zone. Needless to say, a girl with audial vector would feel alone with a guy who cares only about sports, money and movies. They guy would always seem too little for her. Too little to share thoughts with, because he would not be able to comprehend them. He is different. The best solution would be to communicate with people who share same thoughts and ideas, and find a place where she would be heard.
Feeling alone - people with visual vector
For people with visual vector, life is about color, scent and emotions. They bring things to life, they like to color their binders/workbooks at school, like to wear bright clothes, like to be seen and be in a center of attention (unless they are in opposite state and have different types of fears and phobias.), they are the ones who update they profile picture in social media all the time to get some extra attention that they want. For them, life is roller coaster of emotions and if a partner in the marriage does not have and audial or visual vector, the person would not get the needed emotional feedback. For example, a woman can provoke scandals and conflicts to get at least some emotions out of the partner. At some point she would just get tired of it and would search for someone with whom she can share her emotions and receive emotional feedback. People with visual vector make the emotional contact very easily, that is why they usually find another partner fairly quickly. However, they can also experience emotional dependency, and any other states with high emotional amplitude.
Feeling alone in a marriage. Solution
We all look almost the same, we have the same body shape, two arms, two legs, etc., what makes us different is our mind, our psyche. We all have different vectors, sets of desires that can be understood and seen through the prism of Systems Vectors Psychology. Being able to understand what the person really wants, helps us not only to create lasting and meaningful relationships, but also chose things in life that actually mean something to us.
The article is based on Yuri Burlan's System Vector Psychology training.
Writen by: Aleksandr Kuternin
You are not alone. Millions of people around the world experience feelings of loneliness around people they love and care about. There could be many reasons for feelings of loneliness in a marriage, because after all everyone is different and is moved by different desires. Let`s look into this problem more closely.
Lonely in marriage
Systems Vector Psychology, depicts 8 vectors, each one having their own group of desires and set of qualities to fulfill them. A typical person has about 3-5 vectors, and is usually attracted to the person with an opposite vectoral set. The nature made it so, that the couple would have better balance to handle the ever changing environment and would be able to reproduce and survive.
The sexual attraction between men and woman typically lasts about 3 years, as it is enough time for the woman to conceive and bring up a child. On the basis of sexual attraction man and woman should create strong emotional bonds between each other, one that would keep them together beyond the three years allocated by nature. Otherwise, one would wake up one morning in the bed with a stranger, the whole attraction would be gone. One would feel alone in this type of marriage and usually such marriages break apart. In the past such marriages existed, as possessions, children and other matters kept people together, but today, in Dermal stage of development, the individual psyche has grown to a such extent where material things do not play such an important role anymore.
Loneliness in marriage. Other reasons?
Assuming, there was a sexual attraction to begin with, to create the marriage, there is one vector that can make you feel alone not only in marriage but also in society as a whole, it is an audial vector. People with audial vector unconsciously search for the meaning of life. They ask questions such as: What is the purpose of life? Why do we live if we are all going to die in the end? How many stars are there in the universe? Their psyche is created in a such way that they are concentrated on the unconsciousness, on non-material, on vibrations, on the underlying meaning of things and have an abstract intellect to handle that. That is why people with audial vector pay so much attention to the voice of the partner and prefer quite environment, as the ear is their erogeneous zone. Needless to say, a girl with audial vector would feel alone with a guy who cares only about sports, money and movies. They guy would always seem too little for her. Too little to share thoughts with, because he would not be able to comprehend them. He is different. The best solution would be to communicate with people who share same thoughts and ideas, and find a place where she would be heard.
Feeling alone - people with visual vector
For people with visual vector, life is about color, scent and emotions. They bring things to life, they like to color their binders/workbooks at school, like to wear bright clothes, like to be seen and be in a center of attention (unless they are in opposite state and have different types of fears and phobias.), they are the ones who update they profile picture in social media all the time to get some extra attention that they want. For them, life is roller coaster of emotions and if a partner in the marriage does not have and audial or visual vector, the person would not get the needed emotional feedback. For example, a woman can provoke scandals and conflicts to get at least some emotions out of the partner. At some point she would just get tired of it and would search for someone with whom she can share her emotions and receive emotional feedback. People with visual vector make the emotional contact very easily, that is why they usually find another partner fairly quickly. However, they can also experience emotional dependency, and any other states with high emotional amplitude.
Feeling alone in a marriage. Solution
We all look almost the same, we have the same body shape, two arms, two legs, etc., what makes us different is our mind, our psyche. We all have different vectors, sets of desires that can be understood and seen through the prism of Systems Vectors Psychology. Being able to understand what the person really wants, helps us not only to create lasting and meaningful relationships, but also chose things in life that actually mean something to us.
The article is based on Yuri Burlan's System Vector Psychology training.
Writen by: Aleksandr Kuternin