doesnt make sense
im going through what i think is called seperation anxiety. from my mother. at the age of 25. major wtfs here.
i can totally see my girls smirking or "Awww-ing" away here.
its an understatement to say that my mother and i have had a rocky relationship during my teens growing pains years. it was a love/hate thing. i think it was totally normal phase- i being the rebellious brat that i was, and she being the overly protected, self-righteous, single, stressed out mother from India. gosh, we made it through those tough years. college didnt start out any better between us- difference of opinions, asserting boundaries and going seperate ways. we would be lucky if we spoke once a week, or even once every 2 weeks. but just somehow... mama and i became "friends". she became my closest confidante. she became my rock- or maybe she was always my rock but i didnt value that. in the last 2-3 years, things have been good between mom and me. i'm still the brat, im still highly opinionated and still asserting my boundaries and doing what sasha wants to do. and she's still my self-righteous, single, stressed out, overly protective Ma. but we're good. together, we're a good team.
maybe its my becoming older. or maybe its because she's learning to trust me as an adult. and im learning to trust her as a friend, as a peer, trust her wisdom and advice.
living in california, and in DC- has made us "talk" more. i came home for the summer- and seeing my mother sick for the first time in my life- really scared me. i silently took care of the house, the yard, the cars, the cleaning, bringing her to and fro the hospital, her health etc. doing everything she did for me growing up which i took for granted. paying her back for everything she did for me. and maybe just realizing my ma isnt going to be the way she was over the years- she's become smaller, older, sweeter and perhaps more fragile. it felt good to be there for her.
ma left for india in the last week of october. she'll be back by 3rd week of november. and ever since she left... ive been tripping. ive been missing her. i'm pining for my mother.
hurry home.
i can totally see my girls smirking or "Awww-ing" away here.
its an understatement to say that my mother and i have had a rocky relationship during my teens growing pains years. it was a love/hate thing. i think it was totally normal phase- i being the rebellious brat that i was, and she being the overly protected, self-righteous, single, stressed out mother from India. gosh, we made it through those tough years. college didnt start out any better between us- difference of opinions, asserting boundaries and going seperate ways. we would be lucky if we spoke once a week, or even once every 2 weeks. but just somehow... mama and i became "friends". she became my closest confidante. she became my rock- or maybe she was always my rock but i didnt value that. in the last 2-3 years, things have been good between mom and me. i'm still the brat, im still highly opinionated and still asserting my boundaries and doing what sasha wants to do. and she's still my self-righteous, single, stressed out, overly protective Ma. but we're good. together, we're a good team.
maybe its my becoming older. or maybe its because she's learning to trust me as an adult. and im learning to trust her as a friend, as a peer, trust her wisdom and advice.
living in california, and in DC- has made us "talk" more. i came home for the summer- and seeing my mother sick for the first time in my life- really scared me. i silently took care of the house, the yard, the cars, the cleaning, bringing her to and fro the hospital, her health etc. doing everything she did for me growing up which i took for granted. paying her back for everything she did for me. and maybe just realizing my ma isnt going to be the way she was over the years- she's become smaller, older, sweeter and perhaps more fragile. it felt good to be there for her.
ma left for india in the last week of october. she'll be back by 3rd week of november. and ever since she left... ive been tripping. ive been missing her. i'm pining for my mother.
hurry home.