A fallen angel on my shoulder. part 2, NC-17, Jared/ Jensen.
The emotionally charged atmosphere in the room changed immediately - from tormented and sexually charged, to calming and caring. Jared sat down on the edge of the bed, caressing Jensen’s face. “Jen, Jen, come on. You did so well. I’m so proud of you; open your eyes for me, please.”
Jared waited impatiently for Jensen to stir. As he did he reached up and unfastened the cuffs. He gently took hold of Jensen’s arms and lowered them to bed, massaging first one wrist then the other, frowning at the deep abrasions Jensen’s struggles had caused.
“Jared, I’ll get something to clean Jensen up with. Where’s your first-aid kit?” The soft voice startled Jared; he’d almost forgotten that he and Jensen were not alone. He turned to look at Mark, nodding his head slightly.
Jared’s face lit up in a grateful smile. “Oh thanks, Mark. The first-aid kit and everything you’ll need is in the ensuite. Can you put it by the bed and bring some towels in here?”
Mark patted him on the shoulder, “No, the pleasure was all mine. It was a privilege to share this with you two. Two firsts for you, I believe - voyeurism and role playing. I’m honoured you asked me to participate.” Mark gave a warm smile and prepared to slip quietly out of the room. “I’ll just leave you two alone. I’ll be back soon. Look after him, Jay. He’s extraordinary.”
Mark walked quickly to the master bedroom, and headed straight for the bathroom. He soon had the first-aid kit and aloe and placed it on the bedside table. He went back and ran the hot tap and soaked some wash cloths, grabbed a couple of towels ready to take back to Jared.
Mark paused, and took a few seconds to come down after the scene. Yes, he had been an integral part of what had just happened. He, Jared and Jensen had discussed and planned it, but he knew for now his part was done, and the Dom needed time alone with his sub. Jared needed to take care of Jensen, bring him back to the real world and that was a very private matter. He would help any way he could, but the rest was down to Jared. Mark smiled to himself and took a quick trip down to the kitchen.
Jared carried on massaging Jensen’s wrists gently, checking them closely. Finally he was rewarded when Jensen’s eyes opened slowly. Jared leant forward and placed a gentle kiss on bitten, swollen lips. “You were amazing, just amazing. I couldn’t be prouder of you. Was it enough for you? Perhaps it was too much. Jared stroked Jensen’s forehead with his thumb, worrying at his lip in concern. “Look at your wrists; I should’ve been paying attention.”
Jensen moaned softly and Jared tensed beside him, “I’m fine, Jay. Honest. Ok, I won’t be sittin’ down for a week, but fuck, it was worth it. It was everything I could’ve hoped for. Thank you.” He leant into Jared’s gentle touches and sighed contentedly as his eyes closed slowly again.
Jared’s heart had been racing, but those words helped comfort him. With the storyline this season, both men had felt they needed to let go. Sam having to deal with his hell memories, Lucifer perched on his shoulder. Dean’s grief at losing his friends, and worry over Sam had put increased pressure on both of them. And when Dean’s pain became too much for Jensen, he turned to Jared and offered him his most precious gift…..his submission.
Before Jared could say anything else to Jensen he heard Mark coming back into the bedroom; he smiled when he saw what he carried. Jared held out his hand for the towels and wash cloths, and placed them on the bed.
Mark handed him two bottles of cold water, “After the physical effort you two just put in, I think you need a drink. How is he?” Mark gestured towards the figure on the bed.
Jared turned back to Jensen and a warm smile formed on his face. He picked up one of the towels and carefully draped it over his hips, covering him. Mark smiled at the gesture. Jared sat there completely naked, utterly unconcerned at being seen like that. But Jensen was a different matter. Jared saw it was his responsibility to protect and care for Jensen, and that included covering him from prying eyes.
Jared turned back to him and the smile was still there, “Thank you for everything, Mark, and for doing this for me. I didn’t want to leave him alone just yet.” Jared spoke softly and laid his hand on Jensen’s arm.
“Not a problem. I hope I didn’t overstep my boundaries. Do you want me to go?” Mark hovered by the door, ready to leave if Jared wanted him to, but he wanted to stay a little longer to speak to Jensen. To reassure himself that Jensen was alright and the scene hadn’t been too much.
Jared shook his head, and turned to Jensen, picking up one of the still warm cloths, and gently wiped his face. Cleaning away the tears and the sweat, he carried on lower, taking the cloth behind his neck, letting the heat draw some of the tension from Jensen’s strained muscles.
“That’s it. Relax, but don’t go to sleep on me just yet. Let me take care of you.” Jared continued to work, tenderly cleaning Jensen’s torso. He heard a soft hiss as the cloth moved over the scratches the knife had made. Jared shushed the other man, gently running his fingers over the marks to ensure they weren’t too deep.
Mark had moved closer to the bed, watching Jared work, impressed by his deft, soothing touches. “Jared, do you want me to fetch the first-aid kit in here?” He spoke softly almost afraid to break the silence.
Jared looked over his shoulder, “No thanks, Mark. I’ll just clean Jensen up and then look after him properly in our room.”
Mark nodded his approval of the plan; they had used the guest room for this. It was in preference to the men’s bedroom - it distanced the role play from their real lives. So far everything he had witnessed between Jensen and Jared both during and after the scene, spoke of a loving and committed relationship. A deep and profound bond of trust shared, and hopefully strengthened by what they had done today.
Jared changed wash cloths, using the fresh one to wipe the drying come off Jensen’s stomach, a smile appearing as Jensen’s stomach quivered at his touch, “You have to watch, Jensen. He’s a little ticklish. Although I think you realized that when he lashed out with his foot.”
“Yes, I noticed that. How is your shoulder? Jensen’s got one hell of a kick on him. I think it just added to the character of Dean. Fighting what was going to happen with everything he’d got.” Mark smiled at the men, “You two were something special here today. Was it everything you were looking for? And will there be a repeat performance?”
Mark waited for a response while Jared finished cleaning Jensen and used the cloth to wipe himself down.
Jared picked up the other towel and began to gently pat Jensen’s skin dry; he lifted his eyes to Jensen’s, staring deep into a pair of calm green eyes. “I don’t think Sam and Dean will be dropping by to play again. It was just something we needed to do.” Jared thought about his next words, “We’ve played them for over six seasons now. This is something that’s been building for a long time. What with their screwed-up childhood, only really having each other, and the whole hell thing, they’ve gone beyond the normal brother relationship. Throw Lucifer whispering in Sam’s ear into the mix, and I think all bets are off. You never know if the show ended up on HBO. It could happen. What do you think?” Jared grinned as Mark laughed.
“It’s a shame the fan girls will never get to know about this; I’ve never seen you two embody Sam and Dean more perfectly than here today. Dean prepared to give anything to help Sam, and Sam’s misguided attempts to protect Dean from killing himself.” Mark laughed, “I’ve seen some of the fan fics, and as good as they are the reality was much better. I’m just honoured it was me you came to for this. I think Misha would’ve have added a certain fun element to proceedings.”
Jensen shuddered on the bed, “Are you kidding? We would’ve have had a running commentary. I think Jared would’ve ended up stabbing him with the knife.” Jensen’s voice was a raw rasp, and he started to cough.
Jared responded immediately. He grabbed a bottle of water and opened it. Lifting Jensen’s head gently he brought the bottle to his lips, earning a glare. “Stop that. I’m taking care of you, remember. Just take a drink.”
Jared remained firm and finally Jensen lowered his eyes, and started to drink the cool water. His eyelashes fluttered and he gave a moan of pleasure, as the water slid down his dry throat and washed away the taste of blood. He nodded and the bottle was taken away.
Jared drained the half empty bottle and dropped it on the floor, along with the used wash cloths and towel; he was nearly ready to get Jensen to their bed.
As Jared wiped blood away from round his mouth something occurred to Mark, “That reminds me. Where the fuck did the knife come from? I damn near had a heart attack when that appeared.” Mark looked from one man to another as they smiled at each other.” I know you guys said you had a surprise, but that blew me away. I damn near called ‘Clay’ when you started waving that thing around.”
Jared reached over Jensen and picked up the knife, “Give me your hand, Mark.” Mark hesitated, “What? After everything we’ve done, don’t you trust me?” Jared said, a command in his voice.
Mark realized he was dealing with Jared the Dom. Gone was the bouncy, hyperactive man, and in its place was a quiet authoritative presence. There was no need for screaming or threats, Jared knew how to get what he wanted.
Mark approached the bed and held out his hand; Jared nodded and took hold of it. He placed the blade along Mark’s palm, and then drew it quickly across it. Mark jumped back slightly when blood welled up, he knew the knife was sharp but felt no pain from the cut. He lifted his hand to his face and smiled, “A prop knife. Damn, I should’ve known.”
Jared handed him a towel and watched him wipe the fake blood off, “Really? Did you think I’d risk hurting Jensen, even by accident? He needs this from time to time, the pain helps to ground him. It brings him out of himself.”
He looked at Jensen, “I’m so proud he comes to me when he needs to give up his control, and allows me to care for him. I don’t mind a few bruises and scratches, but that is as far as it goes. Do you understand now?”
Mark nodded, smiling, “I fully understand, and I appreciate being the one you turned to for this. It’s been amazing to be allowed to share something so private and special.”
“Jensen, I really get what they mean about you not needing dialogue for Dean. It’s all there in your eyes,” Mark commented, appreciating Jensen’s ability to give himself over to Dean. ”Once or twice I forgot I wasn’t the Prince of Darkness tempting little Sammy into doing something bad.”
Mark had to know that the man on the bed was alright and he had everything he’d needed from this experience. Are you alright? Was it what you were after?”
Jensen shifted slightly, and then gave Mark a brilliant smile, “Better than I could’ve imagined. And it was so hot having someone order Jared about.”
Jensen went to sit up, but a large hand rested on his chest and gently pressed down. Jensen rolled his eyes and sighed at the over protective gesture. “I agree with Jared though. I don’t think Sam and Dean will be coming out to play again. We got what we needed from today, thank you.”
Jared stood, “Can I ask one more favour, Mark?”
Mark smirked and winked at Jared. “Anything you want. Run you a bath, rub you and Jensen down, feed Jensen grapes while you sing him to sleep?”
Jared grinned in return, “Sorry, nothing like that. Can you just turn the bed down for me so I can get Jensen to bed?”
Mark nodded and led the way. Jared turned back to the bed, making sure the towel stayed in place, He slipped his arms under Jensen’s knees and shoulders and lifted him, bridal style.
Jensen blushed as Jared lifted him off the bed. He put his arms round Jared’s neck and turned his face into him, seeking comfort as he was carried back into their bedroom. He felt vulnerable being watched over by two powerful men; Mark was just as much a Dom as Jared was. He’d never felt so cared for. He knew that while he and Jared had been wrapped up in one another, Mark had taken his role as watcher seriously. He’d seen Mark flinch when the knife appeared, and for a moment he’d knew Mark had considered calling a halt to proceedings, relaxing only when he hadn’t signalled any distress.
Mark waited silently as Jared gently placed Jensen in bed and covered him, stroking Jensen’s hair, once more leaning over him, whispering something. Jensen smiled tiredly and closed his eyes. Jared turned back to Mark and smiled gratefully at him.
“Like I said, thank you, Mark. I don’t know how to repay you for this.”
“You can repay me by looking after Jensen. You two really have something special. The amount of trust he has in you is breath-taking. I’ll get out of your hair now and let both of you get some rest.”
Jared went to lead the way out of the bedroom. “Jared, as much as I’m enjoying the view, I think your neighbours might be a little shocked at your outfit.” Mark looked Jared up and down.
Jared frowned at his grinning friend and then he looked down, “Oh shit! Hang on. I’ll put some pants on.”
Jared ran to the wardrobe and grabbed some sweat pants and a T-shirt. He really didn’t want to get arrested for flashing the neighbours, although he was pretty sure Mrs Brookes opposite would enjoy the show. Mark’s laughter rang out as he walked down the stairs.
Jared caught up with him just as he reached the front door. Mark grinned evilly at him. “Well, at least you won’t scare the neighbours now.”
Mark stared at Jared, an enquiring look on his face. “I said I was honoured being the one you turned to share this but why me? I don’t really buy the whole Lucifer and brothers Winchester thing.” Mark looked pensive, “Although I admit it added an interesting vibe to the scene, made it much more intense.”
Jared tilted his head to one side, “Very perceptive. Me and Jensen had thought about involving a third party for a while, but it’s all to do with trust. None of our close friends know about this aspect of our relationship.” Jared leant against the wall, “Jensen’s submission to me is for us only, usually. But we both wanted to try this, and I didn’t want a stranger here.” A grin appeared, “I spoke to another friend of mine and he suggested your name.”
Mark was intrigued. He wanted to know who to send a good bottle of Scotch to by way of thanks. “A mutual friend? Who would that be?”
“Does the name Matt ring any bells? When I mentioned this to him, he was more than happy to supply me with the name of a Dom who he knows is very discreet. And loves orchestrating scenes, taking control of them.” Jared smiled at Mark, “After that it was just a matter of getting you drunk off your ass and suggesting it.”
As Jared had been speaking he’d seen a look of recognition cross Mark’s face when he mentioned Matt. The man who had reconciled him with his dominant nature, and helped him come to terms with what it meant.
“I really must send that man a fruit basket. Now if you’ll excuse me I need some quality time alone in my hotel room, and I still owe you two fuckers for the hangover from hell that night cost me.”
Mark stepped forward and pulled Jared into a hug. “Now get back up there and look after your boy, and if you ever feel like trying this again, call me. If not, call me anyhow and we’ll get drunk again.” Mark stepped towards the door, “See you on set, Jay and I promise to misbehave, especially if I get to torment Misha again.”
Jared said goodbye to Mark and closed the front door. He was going to be a good boy for his Dom, Mark, and do exactly what he’d been told. But he had a few things to do in the kitchen first.
By the time Jared returned to the bedroom, Jensen had drifted off to sleep. He didn’t mind the scene had been demanding both physically and emotionally. Once or twice he’d nearly called ‘Clay’ when he’d looked into Jensen’s eyes and seen Dean looking back at him. He was almost unable to cope with the raw emotion he saw in them, frightened by the intensity and worried that he had lost Jensen to the maelstrom that was Dean.
But he had kept his promise to Jensen to take care of him, and if he really thought Jensen had gone too far then he would’ve called the scene in a heartbeat. Now it was time to finish taking care of the man who belonged to him, and who he belonged to.
Jared placed the tray he was carrying on the floor by the bed. He sat down and gently ran his fingers through Jensen’s hair, smiling as the sleeping man muttered, and burrowed deeper under the covers.
Jared slowly eased the duvet and sheet back and looked at Jensen - he was curled up on his side. Reaching out he lightly touched Jensen’s back, his fingertips trailing down his spine, watching him shiver at the touch. Jared stood and carefully rolled Jensen onto his back, ready to continue his examination, all while Jensen slept on.
Earlier he’d checked Jensen over briefly. Now Jared ran his fingers over each mark he’d made, pressing gently assessing the damage. The bite on Jensen’s neck was red and angry, but the skin was unbroken. Jared continued to the two matching marks on Jensen’s chest. They, like the one of his neck would take a few days to fade. Thank God they were on a break.
His eyes were drawn to the road map for today’s journey. His fingers ghosted gently over the raised lines the scratches from the prop knife had left. Each time he’d pressed the hard unforgiving metal into warm fragile flesh, his eyes had gone to Jensen’s, always watching to ensure this was bringing Jensen to the brink of his limits, that this was setting him free of the burdens he placed on his own shoulders.
Jensen’s breathing hitched and Jared’s head snapped up, a pair of sleepy green eyes watching him, “Hey there, you should be resting. Was today enough for you? Was it too much? Looking at some of these I got carried away. I’m so sorry, Jensen. I’m meant to take care of you, not beat the crap out of you.” His words were coloured with remorse.
Jensen tiredly lifted his hand and squeezed Jared’s wrist, “Stop that. We knew what we were doing today. You had as much to let go of as me.” Jensen lifted the hand to his lips and kissed it,“I wanted this; you and Mark gave me everything I needed. Thanks for having the strength to go through with it.”
Jensen smiled and yawned and the tight knot that was squeezing Jared’s heart loosened a little.
Jared took a breath and shook himself; he should be the one caring for Jensen, not the other way round. “You just lie there and let me look after you. I think we’ll start with your wrists.” Jared frowned, “Jesus Jen, you weren’t messing round when you fought the cuffs. Squeeze my hand for me. There’s no numbness, is there?”
Jared held out his hand, looking with concern at the deep abrasions. He was worried that Jensen had hurt himself but he relaxed when Jensen’s hand tightened round his. “And the other one please.”
“Yes, doctor. Don’t worry. I can feel everything. I don’t suppose there’s a chance of another bed bath later? Shit!”
Jensen gasped as Jared pressed down on the deeply chafed skin and flexed his wrist, checking the movement, shivering as sparks of pain went dancing along his nerves, making him bite his lip, and moan in pleasure as he squirmed on the bed.
Jared smiled slightly, and reached for the first-aid kit. Opening it he picked up a bandage and the aloe gel. Taking Jensen’s left wrist in his hand, he gently began to apply the gel to bruised, scraped skin. “No bed bath today, but there’ll be a nice long soak in the bath together tomorrow.” He squeezed Jensen’s hand, “You’re going to get some rest. Today was hard for you, for both of us. And I intend to spoil you, now behave.” Jared’s tone was light but there was a command running through it; he felt Jensen relax and he knew he would behave now and let him work.
Jared wrapped the wrist he was holding and then he did the same with the other one, checking the movement and smothering it with the soothing gel. Now he could work on the other injuries. First of all he gently kissed the mark on Jensen’s throat before massaging the gel in, pleased that would fade relatively quickly, and that the prop knife had left no lasting damage.
Jared sat back a little and liberally poured the gel into his hand. He then rubbed them together gently to warm it and slowly began to apply it to Jensen’s body. He bent forward and his lips brushed the soft skin before his fingertips moved lightly over the matching marks on Jensen’s upper chest, slowly circling the anti-possession tattoo.
He’d managed to get Gina to ‘loan’ him a transfer by telling her it was for a friend, to which she said she didn’t want to know what the hell Murray got up to in his spare time. He traced the lines skilfully, working the gel into reddened skin, doing the same to the other mark.
Jared’s hands skimmed lower, slowly smoothing the gel into reddened and abused flesh. He couldn’t help but tease Jensen’s nipples, making them hard and Jensen swear softly at the torment. Jared paused and poured more gel into his hand and then set about covering the scratches, taking care not to miss one, knowing the aloe would do its work and ease the sting and help to heal.
Jared worked his way down until he reached Jensen’s hips, and the tell-tale signs that Jensen would be carrying these particular reminders of what they had done for more than a couple of days. There would be bruises, and he couldn’t help the thrill that ran through him. He loved to see the evidence of Jensen’s submission to him - each mark spoke of love and devotion painted upon a willing canvas.
Jared took his time massaging the soothing gel into the hand marks, tracing the reddened handprints with his fingers, smiling at the thought of his own brand on Jensen’s skin. He tenderly stroked his thumb over the deep purple bite mark on Jensen’s inner thigh, and pressed gently, making Jensen arch up slightly, before soothing the hurt away.
Jensen relaxed as Jared’s hands moved over his body, the tender healing touches easing away the aches in both body and soul. It was in these moments he felt closest to Jared. All his walls were down and his soul lay bare to the man who held and soothed his battered heart. Never once had Jared abused his trust, even down to inviting Mark - it was something they had both wanted. But it had been Jared who’d found the perfect witness to this very private part of their relationship.
Jensen felt like he was floating, his body tired and sore, but his heart felt lighter than it had in months. Every season of the show exacted a toll and this year was no exception. Dean was weighed down with guilt and grief, the loss of Bobby and Cas was slowly tearing him apart. Along with the ever present threat of losing Sam to his hallucinations of Lucifer and hell, he and Dean were barely keeping it together.
He knew Jared was dealing with similar problems and from their shared pain, slowly but surely this scene had been born, the brothers seeing their relationship twisted, spiralling down to the darkest place they could go, confirming to Jensen’s mind how far Dean would go for Sam. He’d sold his soul and gone to hell already, and he would be prepared to travel that path again if Sam asked it of him.
This was one way of dealing with those issues between the brothers. A cathartic release, or in Kane’s words, “A good grudge fucking.” The role play had served its purpose and now Jensen basked in the afterglow knowing he was safe, being protected and cared for by Jared. Jensen was still high with the adrenaline and pain as Jared touched the marks he’d put on his body, asserting his dominance over him.
Jared carried on checking Jensen over until he was happy that the scratches and bruises would heal quickly. He ran practiced fingers over Jensen’s ankles, flexing the joint to ensure he hadn’t held too tightly. Finally he checked Jensen’s ass, the puckered entrance was red and swollen but there were no tears. Jared took the time to clean his hands, and then he took a tube of antibiotic cream and applied it gently. He relaxed; the first part of his job was done. He had taken care of the physical bruises from the scene, now he had to deal with any emotional injuries either of them carried.
Jared cleared away the first-aid kit and took it back to the bathroom. When he came back he picked up the things he brought up from the kitchen, and placed them on the bedside table. He got into bed beside Jensen and pulled the duvet up over them. He gently ran his hand down Jensen’s arm, smiling softly at him. “I got us something to drink and eat; do you think you can sit up?” He asked, “Or shall I give you a straw? Although it might be fun to watch you try and drink it like that.”
Jensen lifted his head and looked at the bedside table. On it sat two mugs and a flask. He had a good idea what Jared had made. “Please tell me it’s hot chocolate and marshmallows?” He sounded hopeful, “Dude, think of my ass getting flabby.” He added in mock horror.
“I think we used enough energy to risk it, and believe me, that ass could never be flabby.”
Jared poured the chocolate from the flask, steam rising along with a delicious aroma. He sprinkled tiny marshmallows into the dark rich drink. Jared grinned, “I got your favourite as well.” He nodded to the tray and sat there was a large slice of mocha cake that he’d brought specially for Jensen.
Jensen’s mouth watered and his stomach rumbled. He tried to push himself up, but his arms shook with effort. They were about to give out when Jared moved over to him, easing Jensen forward slightly so he could slip behind him.
Jensen now found himself resting against Jared’s broad chest, being engulfed in his arms. He relaxed and sighed when he felt Jared’s lips brushing over his neck, peppering it with the gentlest of kisses. Jared’s hands moved up to his shoulders and he began to massage them slowly, working hard to ease the tension from them, kneading at knots he found, making Jensen moan in a mixture of pain and pleasure.
“That’s it, just relax. You were amazing today. You gave me everything I could’ve wished for and more. You never once reacted to what Mark was telling me to do; it really felt like there was only the two of us here.”
Jared carried on massaging and caressing the man in front of him, ensuring he was well cared for after such a demanding scene. “You were so good today; this is just a well-deserved reward for that.”
Jared stopped the massage and reached out for a mug. He picked it up and brought it in front of Jensen, “There you are. Can you hold it or do you want me to help?” Jared watched as Jensen took the mug, his hand hovering close by in case the damage inflicted by the cuffs was worse than he thought.
For a second the mug wobbled and then Jensen managed to steady it, as he held it in both hands. He let warmth spread through his hands and then he slowly brought it to his lips. He took a drink and appreciated the sweet tasting liquid, enjoying the warmth flowing through his body.
Jensen tilted his head back and smiled, “See, I can manage to take a drink on my own. I’m not completely helpless.”
Jared grinned back at him and leant forward, capturing Jensen’s lips with his own, licking at the marshmallow that covered them before sliding his tongue in Jensen’s mouth, savouring the taste. He pulled away.
“Of course you can. That’s why I’m still holding the mug.” Jensen scowled when he realized Jared was still supporting the weight. “Now take another drink, and stop pouting. It’s too adorable for words.”
Jensen lifted the cup once more and took a long drink. He saw Jared pick up his own drink and settle back against the headboard, pulling Jensen with him. He winced a little when he moved his ass. He felt Jared’s arm tighten round him in concern. He reached up and put his hand over Jared’s in reassurance.
“I’m fine. My ass is just a little tender for some reason. You have any idea why that is?”
“Behave. Remember who’s still in control. You keep that up and I’ll put you over my knee and spank you, and make your ass even more tender.”
Jensen turned to look at Jared and lowered his eyes, his eyelashes framing his cheeks, a blush colouring his face. Jared gently stroked his face and smiled, “I’d never punish you for something like that, but you need to rest and I’m going to make sure that’s exactly what you’re gonna do.”
Jared took the nearly empty mug from him, and he picked up a large piece of chocolate frosted mocha cake. “Now if you’ve finished your drink it’s time for something to eat.”
Jared enjoyed these moments when he could take care of Jensen, when his defences were stripped away and he could see every part of him - all his strengths and vulnerabilities, everything that made Jensen so precious to him lay bare. He loved how Jensen gave himself so completely, without hesitation. Jared dug into the cake with a spoon and brought a piece up to Jensen’s full lips; he took a bite of the rich cake and sighed softly in appreciation.
The hot chocolate and cake were a part of the rituals Jared had established to help ease Jensen back from his sub mind set. The comfort food and physical affection all helped to bring Jensen down from a scene. Jared took a piece of the cake for himself, and hummed with pleasure at the taste.
Jensen smiled as Jared ran his thumb along his lip, wiping away an errant crumb. “Hey, I thought you brought that for me. Stop stealing it.”
“Yes, it’s for you, but it’s much more fun to share, isn’t it? Jensen, today, did you get what you wanted from this.” Jared asked the questions softly, “What was the part you enjoyed the most?”
Jared was safe in the knowledge that while Jensen was under his command he couldn’t, no, wouldn’t, lie to him. In this time and place there was only ever complete honesty.
Jensen lifted his eyes, looking perhaps at the ceiling or more likely examining his thoughts. Jared could see the emotions churning within the green depths. It was true that no matter what Jensen was feeling he always knew; he only had to look into his eyes and he knew everything.
Jensen lowered his eyes, and picked at the duvet. He sighed softly. “Sam and Dean are so hopelessly entwined they can never escape one another.” He paused. “Everything they’ve been through they’re the only constant in each other’s lives.”
Jensen stared into the distance, “If they were ever to get it together, but I think Dean would most likely shoot himself first. It wouldn’t be because of demons or leviathans, in the end it would be for human contact. Every friend they had they’ve lost. It’s got to the point they can’t afford to get close to anyone else - they only lose them. They really are all they have.”
Jared nodded, adding his own thoughts, “I think you’re right about that, and as I said to Mark I don’t think Sam and Dean will be coming out to play again. That’s a ghost we’ve laid to rest.”
Jared nuzzled at the other’s man’s neck, drawing comfort from him. “But I might think about having someone watch us again someday. If that’s alright with you, Jensen.”
Jensen let his head fall back on Jared’s shoulder, a serene smile on his face. “I gotta say, Jay; it was hotter than hell listening to Mark bossing your ass about.”
Jared gently turned Jensen’s face towards his and placed a soft kiss on his lips. He leaned back, a smile lighting up his face, “I admit I feel better for this. It’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.”
“After getting our asses kicked all over the place this year, we just took the boys to their darkest place. It helped me too.”
“I think I got more from having Mark involved. Who knew that I would be willing to share you with anyone?”
Jensen looked up at Jared. “I wasn’t sure if I could go through with it, have someone watching us. But having Mark direct you…God, it was amazing.”
Jensen eased himself lower, yawning. “I really must shake Mark’s hand for the workout you two gave me today. That’s when I can walk again; I think I’ll be staying on the couch tomorrow, if that’s alright with you.”
Jared smiled and wrapped his arms tighter round Jensen, “I was considering taking you for a five-mile run tomorrow, work off that cake.”
“More like a five-mile crawl. If we did try this again who would you ask to join us?”
Jared shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know. It would have to be someone we both trust. I’m not ashamed of this part of our relationship. But seeing you like this, so open and needing protecting. There aren’t many I’d trust with it...” Jared grinned evilly “How about Chad?”
Jensen had been sinking lower down the bed but when he heard that he stiffened, “Fuck, no! Anyone but Murray. All he’d do is complain my tits weren’t big enough, or tell me his dick is bigger than yours, and I know that’s not true.”
He heard Jared growl faintly behind him “Remember the fourth of July when Chad just had to go swimming? He didn’t have shorts but he had to swim. Jay, I was scarred for life. I will never recover from seeing his pasty ass flash past me. Well, if we’re making suggestions, how about Kane?”
The two men had been laughing until Jensen suggested inviting Christian. He felt Jared flinch and he smiled. “Jay, one day you’ll have to explain to me why you’re so damned scared of Chris. He’s about five inches shorter and you got a shitload of muscle on him. Come on, you’re Sam Winchester, monster hunter and Lucifer’s Vessel! You could take Eliot Spencer, no problem.”
Jared blushed furiously and glared at him, “It could have something to do with how protective he is of you. When we got together he was all smiles and good ol’ boy to you.”
Jared shivered at a memory. “Me, he threatened to castrate if I hurt you. Alright then, we invite Kane. But when he rips my arms off and beats me to death with them, because I made you scream, my last words to you will be, ‘see I told you the fucker fights dirty’.”
Jensen roared with laughter, “It’s ok. I’ll protect you from the nasty man. So Kane’s out. You got any more ideas?” The last words came out slurred as Jensen yawned deeply, and snuggled against Jared, blinking sleepily.
Jared slowly eased them further down the bed, holding Jensen close, settling him in a comfortable position. “We can think about that another time. You are going to get some sleep. We’ll finish the cake, and then I’ll get you dressed.”
Jared reached over to the drawer and opened it, fetching the leather bracelet that was nestled inside.
Jared wrapped his arm round Jensen as he lay there with his head resting on his shoulder. He placed the bracelet in front of Jensen’s eyes. “Do you want the bracelet back now? Only I don’t think you’ll be able to wear it for a couple of days, but you’ll be able to carry it.”
The symbol of control lay between them, its’ simple design belying its importance for the two men. Just the knowledge that Jensen carried it would be enough for both of them. They would accept Jensen had shouldered his burdens, and all his armour was in place once more. Jared smiled reassuringly into tired eyes, hugging him tightly, offering support for whatever he decided.
“Not yet if you don’t mind. I’d just like you to spoil me for a little longer.” Jensen sighed softly. Would you mind keep doing this please?”
“No problem. What’s this? Jensen Ackles demanding hugs? Just think of your reputation as a man of reserve and mystery.” Jared leaned forward and kissed Jensen’s forehead. “I’ll always look after you. I’m yours to command. And if you want to be held then your wish is my command. Now an order from me. Close your eyes and get some rest.”
Jensen did as he was told, closing his eyes and letting sleep carry him away. Jared placed the bracelet back in the drawer, closing it gently, ensuring he didn’t disturb the man beside him. Jared took the time to study Jensen. He looked relaxed and at peace whereas recently he’d been tense and agitated, Dean and Sam’s predicament extracting a heavy price, each loss of a friend being a personal blow to Jensen, as Dean refused to stay on set.
It had been the same for him. They had both felt the pressure increasing as he’d struggled to let go of Sam becoming unable to close the door on the tortured younger Winchester. After many late night conversations when they were both too wired to sleep, they had decided to try this. Mark’s inclusion had been his idea; he’d never wanted to parade Jensen in front of other Doms. With how intensely private Jensen was, it would have been a betrayal. But he just wanted someone else to see how beautiful Jensen was, when his walls were down and he was utterly bare.
Also he’d enjoyed giving up some of his control, more than he imagined he would. Following Mark’s orders had been liberating, and had meant he could concentrate more on Jensen and what he needed. When he took control of Jensen his well-being was always at the centre of what he did. Every order, touch, each mark or bruise was done with love, helping to set Jensen free of his burdens, and allowing him a respite from the high standards he set himself.
Jensen sighed in his sleep and Jared gently stroked his arm, calming him, chasing away any demons that still lurked deep down in his heart. Jensen stilled and Jared allowed himself to relax. These times were precious when the strong-willed man in his arms allowed himself to be comforted and protected by him. Jared treasured them and locked away the memories; he loved every aspect of Jensen, the strong fiercely independent man, and the man who surrendered his control, giving his trust and devotion completely.
Jared yawned and he felt his own eyes growing heavy. Closing them he resolved to get some rest as well before resuming his duties, ensuring Jensen was well looked after and had everything he needed.
As he let himself relax, Jared considered allowing another person to witness this again; he would only allow it if Jensen was happy with the idea, and if he was? Well, Jared had the perfect candidate in mind after his chat with Matt. He couldn’t wait to see the look on Jensen’s face when he came home to find Jeffrey Dean Morgan waiting for him.
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