What the HELL is wrong with me!? (if you can't handle the venting, stay out of the post)
My back is burning. I couldn't sleep last night because I didn't have my "knock out drug", and I had nightmares and tossed and turned all night long. I'm not in a good mental place right now. Not at all. I feel like giving up, just ... whatever, surrender, smash my entire house up, break out. I feel like I'm working hard, and I'm getting absolutely no where. How can I be this broke? Well ... a ridiculous speeding ticket I got near seattle is one reason, and I paid it by the deadline. $200 FUCKING dollars. In the memo section of the check I wrote memo: RIDICULOUS SPEEDING TICKET and sent it off. Whatever the reason, I'm cash-broke and emotionally bankrupt. I'm getting desperate, not for money, but for freedom, and right now money IS freedom. I need out, it feels a little worse every day. My parents and I fought all weekend, and I can't take it anymore. I can't take how controlling they are, how obviously petty they can be. I wasn't "allowed" to take the car to go to coffee the other day because my mom is worried about putting mileage on it, but if I wanted to go shopping with HER, we could drive around for hours and that's just fucking FINE. Mileage my ass, they just don't want me anywhere they can't control me and I'm ... I'm really, really feeling at the end of my rope.
All I can do is remember "stay there so you can save tuition, save tuition to go to school for six weeks and get the certification to get a very well paying job, get the well paying job so that I can MOVE OUT OF THERE and NEVER GO BACK. EVER."
All I can do is remember "stay there so you can save tuition, save tuition to go to school for six weeks and get the certification to get a very well paying job, get the well paying job so that I can MOVE OUT OF THERE and NEVER GO BACK. EVER."