(no subject)
well today was my last day on orientation... and yupp I dont feel ready at all to be on my own but I will struggle thru somehow and hopefully when I need help people will help me out some so far they havent been so helpful at this new job which really sucks.
Good news is tho I did get an appt with a doc in the am so I should get my RA addressed and hopefully a colonoscopy scheduled do have to say that all my fears I have put aside are now at the surface again really scared to have this done.. its alot easier to pretend nothing is wrong then to find out something is.. if that makes sense haha
came home literally starving to death this job is gonna leave me at 80lbs before its over went all day nothing to eat since 1pm and anyone who knows me knows I eat every few hrs to keep my weight on... /sigh
I have to figure out something and luckily for me i only work three days a week.
I believe I have a new very large hernia that hurts really bad... this is not good seeing as it took me what? 4 months to heal from the last surgery and now im looking at yet another surgery??? WTH
it happened my third day back to work and has been getting bigger and more painful... and I cant even think of having surgery on it for at least I bet 6-12 months so I have no idea how this will pan out lol always something gotta go wrong with me...
I think my biggest fear is having cancer tho, the other stuff I can live with...and Im worried I'll be all alone with it :( thats the scarriest part... i have no family here only brian and sometimes i just get worried he may leave I dont know why
anyways I need to write out this long list of stuff to talk to this PA about tomorrow.. I really need a doc tomorrow not a PA but will start there at least its a quick appt
nite nite
Good news is tho I did get an appt with a doc in the am so I should get my RA addressed and hopefully a colonoscopy scheduled do have to say that all my fears I have put aside are now at the surface again really scared to have this done.. its alot easier to pretend nothing is wrong then to find out something is.. if that makes sense haha
came home literally starving to death this job is gonna leave me at 80lbs before its over went all day nothing to eat since 1pm and anyone who knows me knows I eat every few hrs to keep my weight on... /sigh
I have to figure out something and luckily for me i only work three days a week.
I believe I have a new very large hernia that hurts really bad... this is not good seeing as it took me what? 4 months to heal from the last surgery and now im looking at yet another surgery??? WTH
it happened my third day back to work and has been getting bigger and more painful... and I cant even think of having surgery on it for at least I bet 6-12 months so I have no idea how this will pan out lol always something gotta go wrong with me...
I think my biggest fear is having cancer tho, the other stuff I can live with...and Im worried I'll be all alone with it :( thats the scarriest part... i have no family here only brian and sometimes i just get worried he may leave I dont know why
anyways I need to write out this long list of stuff to talk to this PA about tomorrow.. I really need a doc tomorrow not a PA but will start there at least its a quick appt
nite nite