Santa and the Belgium Hare
Mummy asked somebody at work to be Santa at a party - in a very convoluted way John said No. She is still looking for a volunteer.
I must confess that I'm finding it difficult to find the words to describe my feelings at being afforded this theoretically prestigious opportunity. In other circumstances*, I would very possibly consider accepting, but I find that the very thought of christmas inspires feelings of malevolence, discord and illwill to all citizens. With that in mind, I can only conclude that I am not an ideal candidate,and you might struggle to secure the necessary indemnity cover. To compound matters, I've consulted my diary and find that I'm washing my hare that night. It's a Belgian leveret which is due to be released from an oil slick the day before, so I really will need to give it a good wash.
Kris Kringle
*- e.g. in a post-lobotomy scenario
I must confess that I'm finding it difficult to find the words to describe my feelings at being afforded this theoretically prestigious opportunity. In other circumstances*, I would very possibly consider accepting, but I find that the very thought of christmas inspires feelings of malevolence, discord and illwill to all citizens. With that in mind, I can only conclude that I am not an ideal candidate,and you might struggle to secure the necessary indemnity cover. To compound matters, I've consulted my diary and find that I'm washing my hare that night. It's a Belgian leveret which is due to be released from an oil slick the day before, so I really will need to give it a good wash.
Kris Kringle
*- e.g. in a post-lobotomy scenario