clearing my head/heart (you don't hv to read)
all i want is for my family to understand me....all i want is to go back to japan.
why does when my brother say he wants to go back to japan; he's given permission when he graduates and it's all gonna be paid for, but when i say i wanna go back to japan all i get is a "is that so" nothing else.
why can't they understand that just like my brother i can't handle things.
why can't they understand that I'm not as strong as they think I am
why can't they understand that behind this smile is a girl pleaing for help.
yeah i'm pissed that my brothers ate my pizza that i was saving; i even put my name on the aluminum foil it was wrapped in. but after all that yelling that me and my brother did; why can't he understand that I don't care of the freakin' pizza. why can't he understand that everytime he screams at me, everytime he pushes me around, everytime he tells me he wants to punch me in the face and kill me that those words slowly kill me
i try to get along w/ him but it just doesn't work, i try to get along w/ my oldest brother too but it doesn't work.
i want to be an only child; why must i be related to him. why must i be related to the brothers that hate my guts.
i wanna go back to japan. i wanna run away from this hell hole.
i can't call this place a home anymore. how can it be home when i don't feel welcome.
why is it to my dad it's always all about my brothers.
why can't it be about me for once.
they do something wrong, he gets mad. they do something right, he get's happy and he says good job.
why is it that when i do something good or right i don't get anything. i tell him but he doesn't care. he doesn't even nod his head.....i get nothing.
my mom's support is not the only thing i want; it's not only her love that i need.
i just wanna be understood; i just wanna be told that i'm special; i just want to be told that i'm loved.