When figurative language is bad

[sartorias]

The other day I posted Jane Austen's writing advice clipped from her letters to a writing niece. Afterwards, I got three different people writing me privately to ask, basically, what is so bad about figurative language

Comments

[kalimac]

This only goes to prove that all language is metaphorical, or, if you will, figurative. Speaker D seems to think that "colored" is figurative but that "sharpened" or "tightened" or "roughened" or "thinned" aren't, since D is asking for something "you can actually hear." But they're all metaphors: sharpen is what you do to a pencil, tighten is what you do to a knot, etc. What they are is more specific metaphors than "colored." What color? Problem then is disagreement with color symbolism, red v. white in this case. But that can come up with the symbolism of other metaphors too. None of D's suggestions strike me as particularly problematic in that way, but it can happen, and when you least expect it.

Real problem is what was called "empty calories", words that don't add anything. "Very" adds little. (I was going to say "very little.") But this avoidance too can be overdone. Orwell disdained "not un-" but that can add a touch of diffidence or moderation that isn't achieved without it.

D also dislikes "was" when there are better verbs around. Perhaps, but there's one verb that fiction writers should never, ever ("empty calorie" words there for emphasis) seek consciously to avoid, and that verb is "said." Saidbookisms are a peril.

[sartorias]

Yeah, afterward there was some discussion, not quite arguments, about sharpened--at least I have a note here on "sharpened'? But D demonstrated a sharp voice. (Which someone else said could be expressed as 'barked' and there we get the said-bookisms.)

They didn't talk about said-bookisms, at least nothing I noted down here. But I've heard other writers rail about their hideousness, and writers who like the verbs that can actually be spoken. Like, 'he whispered.' Or even 'He breathed the word.' You can actually breathe words on a sigh, but unless you have the lungs of Caruso, you can't breathe full sentences.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone mention 'opined' in anything less than derision, but it was a popular one in the nineteenth century. Then there are the Tom Swifties, Like, "Are you going?" he queried. "No!" she exclaimed. Another one that I've seen excoriated is 'pressed' as in "Are you coming?" he pressed.

Oh yeah, another one that I've heard debated is 'hissed,' especially when there isn't a sibilant in the entire sentence.

[serialbabbler]

I was thinking of "sharpened" in terms of musical notes. ("Sharp" versus "flat" that is.) So a sharp voice wouldn't be a bark so much as a high pitched (slightly off-key) angry voice.

Most of our descriptive language is synesthetic in nature. Trying to separate out the senses doesn't really work all that well although it does make for interesting conversations.

[sartorias]

Agreed! It's fascinating how different people experience the different words. (And seeing where there is general agreement about generic; words that go in and out of the Zeitgeist of a time.)

[kalimac]

I'm actually a classical music critic, and the word "flat" is the bane of my existence. I can't use it to mean monotonic or featureless, because it has a technical musical meaning that's quite different. I don't have that trouble with "sharp" because I'm not tempted to use it in its non-technical meaning, and there are other technical terms to describe that quality in a singer's voice. (Don't get me started on "crescendo", which is nothing but a technical musical term, one misused constantly by non-musicians, and not just in a figurative sense either.)

D demonstrating that all of us (except musicians) agree on what a "sharp" voice is doesn't make it any less of a figurative term. It merely means that it's a more precise metaphor (except for musicians) than some others.

I did once read a sentence in a novel something like "It's not possible to hiss a sentence without any sibilants in it, but he managed." And I know what it meant too: speak in the manner you'd use for the non-sibilant phonemes when you're hissing.

[sartorias]

Yep. All this is true. Demanding precision can be carried to extremes--but imo anything that makes us more conscious of language choices is all to the good.

[dichroic]

Katherine Hepburn once wrote that Howard Hughes, who was hard of hearing, liked her because he had an easier time hearing her "sharp voice". I knew exactly what she meant when I read that, Her voice has an edge to it; it is focused, not soft or husky or raspy. Each note is hit precisely without overtones. I'm not sure whether anger has that effect on other peopple's voices, though.

[sartorias]

I think anger can have that effect. But some people naturally speak with more precision.

[anna_wing]

"Pressed" to me is what one does with fabric, flowers or duck. Or, in a different context, sailors.

I still remember "Her heart thumped like a frightened rabbit", which brought irresistible images of rabbits stamping their hind-legs in warning.