Learning to Rewrite

[sartorias]

and plagiarism.

Forty years, the needle of guilt--and the smothering pillow of that internal sense of mediocrity--I figure, why not tell this story.

Comments

[steepholm]

Thanks for that. While I admire your professor's honesty, did anyone leave the class feeling other than crushed, do you suppose? Was he really a great writing teacher, or was his medicine purely the preventative variety?

Now I want to know which line from CSL it was...

[sartorias]

I've looked for that line. I just don't remember which book it was in.

Re the prof, there were two or three of the nine or ten students who Got It, and of course got nothing but praise from then on, or else engaged in learned discussions, which in turn made the rest of us feel even more like losers.

Really, that class brought home hard the inescapable truth that passion does not always equate talent.

[coneycat]

Well, I'm glad you didn't let that experience put you off writing entirely. Please tell me the prof at least tried to work with the students who didn't already "get it," rather than just making a little gang of insiders and purposely making everyone else feel like losers. (There are people who believe writing can't be taught. I mostly take exception to that attitude when it is held BY WRITING TEACHERS.)

[sartorias]

Well, looking back, I think he was trying hard to stay neutral, but those of us who didn't get it knew we were losers. It was a whole lot like math. The prof doesn't have to tell you you're stupid (though I had one who did--repeatedly) when you keep getting Fs and everyone around you finishes the work in a tenth of the time and gets As.

[coneycat]

"Really, that class brought home hard the inescapable truth that passion does not always equate talent."

Everyone who reads my blog is sick of my references to the movie "It Might Get Loud" by now, but this comment reminds me of a remark Edge makes about his discovery of punk rock: "ultimately, our limitations as musicians were not going to be a problem." The good thing about passion is, it can help you hang in there while you work around your limitations.

As a middle-aged guitar student, mind you, the thing I took away from the movie is: if a thing is worth doing for its own sake, then you should keep doing it. I expected a movie about accomplished guitarists to be intimidating, but iit was so obvious they were having fun that I realized the fun was its own legitimate reward.

All of which is just to say, apparently passion kept you writing even after a frustrating and intimidating experience, and that's an affirming thing for an aspiring writer to read.

[sartorias]

I think that's what it comes down to: if you enjoy it, then why not keep doing it? For me, there was never any question of quitting. The hook got me hard at age six. The only question was, whether I keep doing it for myself, or I try to make it accessible to others, which has been a very, very long learning process (and one I enjoyed, in spite of occasional frustrations with my limitations)

[sartorias]

Yes, spot on.

[green_knight]

I'm in the midst of helping an adult voice student untangle this; I keep tissues in the studio when she comes in.

In the name of everybody who has been told repeatedly that they suck at something they love, thank you.

[allie_meril]

Off topic, but I like your Vienna Teng-inspired username. :)

[torrilin]

That's actually a lot of why I'm not a professional singer.

I'm a good soprano. But... there are two issues. I'm the kind of person who wilts under a spotlight. I absolutely cannot bear the idea of solo work. I can do chamber music, or accidental solos, but planned? No. I'd be an emotional wreck. That's the crippling one, because even as a rent-a-soprano, I'd need to be able to do at least a little solo work.

The second issue is I'm really pretty vanilla vocally. I have a genuinely loud voice, excellent range, good control and all that... but I sound generic.

None of this (to me) means I suck. It means I shouldn't be a professional singer. Trying to be professional would mean I'd bury myself in "I suck".

[laransb]

Sometimes, the humiliation of the repeated slams is enough to make the enjoyment sour. It's a very sad thing, and can get really, really twisted up, because the drive doesn't necessarily go away: you just get caught between the fact that you desperately WANT to do X, but every time you try to do X you remember all of your shame, all of your humiliation, all of how much you SUCK, and it makes you hate it.These words sum up some of my experiences with writing very accurately. Thank you for expressing it so clearly

[sartorias]

Yes--it's true. This happened to me as a teacher. You've know idea how something you think is mild and helpful can strike another, and have to backtrack swiftly and approach differently.