BGB's Wedding
It Made the Front page of the Everett Herald, so no sense in reading MY drivel....
Mukilteo is a confusing area for me for some reason. When I think I'm headed toward the water, I'm not, and vice-versa. either that or Google Maps just likes to lie to me.
Anyway, after a wrong turn and a call to BGB(Big Gay Boss, for those who -forgivably-haven't been following my blog for the last ten years) we found the lighthouse, and got there at the same time as the press. The keeper and volunteers were friendly but hovered nervously as we hung around and waited for BGB & the rest of the guests to show up. Mike & I took some initial photos to make sure cameras were operational.
We were up in the tower, pondering the properties of light -the bulb for the lighthouse was the size of my pinky finger, and it was the sphere of mirrors and glass that surrounded it that made it so bright. Do reflections create photons, or just reflect them...? My contemplation was interrupted by the appearance of BGB & fiancee. We got birds-eye shots of their entrance onto the property.
I suck at photography, the reason I'm awesome at Photoshop is due to my failing with a camera. Mike is much more proficient, I am SO grateful for his backup-oh, heck, he took all the good photos. I stood behind Annie the photographer for the Herald, who I could easily work over her lovely small frame. BGB was in Trade Show mode, boisterous and smiling; though this was genuine, and he was not freaking out at ALL, which I had been expecting. Things were moved around, reordered, chairs put out, and like every wedding, it moved forth with the inevitability of a freight train headed downhill. People were hesitant to sit down in the tiny lighthouse, and it got cozy fast.
The only time I got to talk to BGB's parents(whom I'd been fascinated to meet) was a brief exchange with his Mother about body fat being a substitute for central heating. His Mother was easily mistakable for roylaty: Straight-faced, unquestioningly polite with impeccable posture, and observant but wary. His father was handsome, dressed like a 20s New Yorker with gray coat and fedora, and carried a reassuring, intelligent calm. I loved them instantly.
We had an hour to socialize, keeping an eye out for candid shots. Everyone was surprisingly friendly, even people who I got the impression weren't normally.
Handfuls of middle-aged women descended on the tall couple like curious meerkats, standing on tiptoes to brush invisible lint or dandruff from their suits and necks and straighten ties and boutonnieres. I realized it was some sort of instinctive hominid grooming ritual-more as a familiarity gesture than one of actual tidying. During a moment when he wasn't being fussed with I sidled up to Dale and asked how he was feeling. He glanced warily at my camera and gave me a confident, steady response "I'm all right." At that moment he was strong, sturdy, and ready to catch whatever was going to be thrown at him.
I got the "Judge Judy" out of my system fast, the officiant had (thankfully) nothing in common with the infamous celebrity. She was arguably the happiest person in the tiny building. She instructed everyone to take their seats and the freight train started onto the flat stretch. Annie the Herald photographer, Mike & I skirted around the back of the room to get photos. The vows were generically traditional: "I _ Take thee to be my Partner, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live" Though BGB said "for richer or richer" The rings proved slightly difficult to get on, but I think just about everyone teared up a little. Judge Bui finished with great presence, radiating excitement and joy, "I am VERY happy to pronounce you Mister and Mister Hendrickson-Ilg." The kiss was heartfelt and sweet. They both hugged the judge.
Looking back the fact that this was a very historic moment in the book of human rights was mere backlighting for most people there. I was so honored and happy to be witness to such a big part of BGB & Dale's life more than anything. BGB has been a big influence and support for me the last 12 years, I felt more like a yellow labrador with a camera: "Ohboyohboyohboy! More people! Ohboyohboyohboy!" I was getting to meet, alas, briefly, all the people the BGB had talked about during our time together. The only guests I hadn't heard of were Dale's entourage of gorgeous female co-workers, who I had been told repeatedly (by BGB, of course)he inevitably attracted like pilot fish to a whitetip shark. As far as weddings go, the vows, levity, and everything else were (sorry guys)unremarkable aside from a pronoun or two. Discounting the obvious, the only thing that was HIGHLY unusual was a couple their age(older than me, but not much) tying the knot for the FIRST time.
The hoard of wool-coated guests poured out of the lighthouse and migrated to BGB's favorite Mexican restaurant up the road. Half the tables in the house were arranged in a vast line, the couple in the middle, Mike & I took the end and everyone told stories and chatted quite happily. The service was amazing. Mike and I's coffee cups were kept filled, we consumed at least two pots. Dale's friends Steve & Kathy from Idaho sat next to us and we exchanged tales of the wood and adventures with wildlife.
Delicious traditional(I'm told) wedding soup was served, I don't know if the two meatballs with the zucchini in each bowl were significant, but the added potato chunk dampened any obvious innuendo. Wine was Opera Prima Pink Muscato-I say this to remember it myself, as it is light, sweet heaven.
I joined Roberta's eye-wideningly chivalrous husband Don for a smoke(he put my coat on for me). We spoke of Chantix and other psychotic drugs.
I ordered a tamale and enchilada, the cheese was SOFAKING outstanding. The guests stood up and mingled a bit, full to the gills with Mexican food. The couple edged their way toward the crimson and white wedding cake that had been modestly occupying a table by the wall was suddenly the center of attention. They carved into it together, the guests stopped them from handing out the first piece, and they sampled it. No frosting fights or smearing. The gleeful fool in me was mildly disappointed by the glaring lack of collapse of Western civilization detractors had promised by two guys sharing wedding cake.
But OH THE CAKE! it had been made by a gluten-free dairy-free bakery with the brilliant and memorable title of "Defloured". It had the intoxicating, heady flavor of coconut oil, and the aura of coconuts left the firmament and shining their benevolence down on my taste buds. Also: Raspberry icing.
I got two goals taken care of: A smile out of BGB's brother and a picture of Dale not squinting.
Onward! To Casa de la BGB. We followed Dale's nephew Mikey out -who was the gearbox if not the engine behind everything running smoothly this day. Roberta, a good friend of BGB's and mine, and a professional caterer outdid herself with yet another delicious feast of hors d'oeuvres at the house, with everyone stuffed to the gills from Mexican food. Steve mixed drinks for everyone, wine was put out of its misery, and interesting and jovial conversation filled the house.
Mike & I were questioned about our status as an unmarried couple (who'd been living together 24-7 in a 180 square foot space for almost seven years, I might add). I had a pang of guilt saying "Well, we don't want kids and we're not religious, so I don't really see why we should." I'm sure the guys could have given us a ton of practical reasons, but no one seemed to fuss about it. Mike & I had talked about not getting married in protest until they could, but decided against it, since that would mean we'd HAVE to when the inevitable happened and basic human equality was recognized in this insane country, and joked to the guests that we could still do so and just keep putting it off "NO! Same gender couples in Uganda still can't!"
BGB relaxed in front on his display cabinet of glass art and said repeatedly it had been a perfect day. I offered to break a window should he feel something was missing. No. Good. I was happy, the guests were happy, BGB & husband went back to -and I will have to check up on this- the life they'd been leading for the last 20 years together. Western civilization plods onward. Huge thanks to BGB & Dale for the invite, and it was great fun to meet and hang out with their friends and family.
AND Thank you to all of you who voted for Referendum 74 and those before that which made this possible. You all helped make a lot of people happy. Not just the couples, but the respect and joy they share in each others' lives spread to the hoards of people who love them and beyond. So many people are happy for BGB & Dale, and the others who also committed this day, and those who will follow.
Mukilteo is a confusing area for me for some reason. When I think I'm headed toward the water, I'm not, and vice-versa. either that or Google Maps just likes to lie to me.
Anyway, after a wrong turn and a call to BGB(Big Gay Boss, for those who -forgivably-haven't been following my blog for the last ten years) we found the lighthouse, and got there at the same time as the press. The keeper and volunteers were friendly but hovered nervously as we hung around and waited for BGB & the rest of the guests to show up. Mike & I took some initial photos to make sure cameras were operational.
We were up in the tower, pondering the properties of light -the bulb for the lighthouse was the size of my pinky finger, and it was the sphere of mirrors and glass that surrounded it that made it so bright. Do reflections create photons, or just reflect them...? My contemplation was interrupted by the appearance of BGB & fiancee. We got birds-eye shots of their entrance onto the property.
I suck at photography, the reason I'm awesome at Photoshop is due to my failing with a camera. Mike is much more proficient, I am SO grateful for his backup-oh, heck, he took all the good photos. I stood behind Annie the photographer for the Herald, who I could easily work over her lovely small frame. BGB was in Trade Show mode, boisterous and smiling; though this was genuine, and he was not freaking out at ALL, which I had been expecting. Things were moved around, reordered, chairs put out, and like every wedding, it moved forth with the inevitability of a freight train headed downhill. People were hesitant to sit down in the tiny lighthouse, and it got cozy fast.
The only time I got to talk to BGB's parents(whom I'd been fascinated to meet) was a brief exchange with his Mother about body fat being a substitute for central heating. His Mother was easily mistakable for roylaty: Straight-faced, unquestioningly polite with impeccable posture, and observant but wary. His father was handsome, dressed like a 20s New Yorker with gray coat and fedora, and carried a reassuring, intelligent calm. I loved them instantly.
We had an hour to socialize, keeping an eye out for candid shots. Everyone was surprisingly friendly, even people who I got the impression weren't normally.
Handfuls of middle-aged women descended on the tall couple like curious meerkats, standing on tiptoes to brush invisible lint or dandruff from their suits and necks and straighten ties and boutonnieres. I realized it was some sort of instinctive hominid grooming ritual-more as a familiarity gesture than one of actual tidying. During a moment when he wasn't being fussed with I sidled up to Dale and asked how he was feeling. He glanced warily at my camera and gave me a confident, steady response "I'm all right." At that moment he was strong, sturdy, and ready to catch whatever was going to be thrown at him.
I got the "Judge Judy" out of my system fast, the officiant had (thankfully) nothing in common with the infamous celebrity. She was arguably the happiest person in the tiny building. She instructed everyone to take their seats and the freight train started onto the flat stretch. Annie the Herald photographer, Mike & I skirted around the back of the room to get photos. The vows were generically traditional: "I _ Take thee to be my Partner, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live" Though BGB said "for richer or richer" The rings proved slightly difficult to get on, but I think just about everyone teared up a little. Judge Bui finished with great presence, radiating excitement and joy, "I am VERY happy to pronounce you Mister and Mister Hendrickson-Ilg." The kiss was heartfelt and sweet. They both hugged the judge.
Looking back the fact that this was a very historic moment in the book of human rights was mere backlighting for most people there. I was so honored and happy to be witness to such a big part of BGB & Dale's life more than anything. BGB has been a big influence and support for me the last 12 years, I felt more like a yellow labrador with a camera: "Ohboyohboyohboy! More people! Ohboyohboyohboy!" I was getting to meet, alas, briefly, all the people the BGB had talked about during our time together. The only guests I hadn't heard of were Dale's entourage of gorgeous female co-workers, who I had been told repeatedly (by BGB, of course)he inevitably attracted like pilot fish to a whitetip shark. As far as weddings go, the vows, levity, and everything else were (sorry guys)unremarkable aside from a pronoun or two. Discounting the obvious, the only thing that was HIGHLY unusual was a couple their age(older than me, but not much) tying the knot for the FIRST time.
The hoard of wool-coated guests poured out of the lighthouse and migrated to BGB's favorite Mexican restaurant up the road. Half the tables in the house were arranged in a vast line, the couple in the middle, Mike & I took the end and everyone told stories and chatted quite happily. The service was amazing. Mike and I's coffee cups were kept filled, we consumed at least two pots. Dale's friends Steve & Kathy from Idaho sat next to us and we exchanged tales of the wood and adventures with wildlife.
Delicious traditional(I'm told) wedding soup was served, I don't know if the two meatballs with the zucchini in each bowl were significant, but the added potato chunk dampened any obvious innuendo. Wine was Opera Prima Pink Muscato-I say this to remember it myself, as it is light, sweet heaven.
I joined Roberta's eye-wideningly chivalrous husband Don for a smoke(he put my coat on for me). We spoke of Chantix and other psychotic drugs.
I ordered a tamale and enchilada, the cheese was SOFAKING outstanding. The guests stood up and mingled a bit, full to the gills with Mexican food. The couple edged their way toward the crimson and white wedding cake that had been modestly occupying a table by the wall was suddenly the center of attention. They carved into it together, the guests stopped them from handing out the first piece, and they sampled it. No frosting fights or smearing. The gleeful fool in me was mildly disappointed by the glaring lack of collapse of Western civilization detractors had promised by two guys sharing wedding cake.
But OH THE CAKE! it had been made by a gluten-free dairy-free bakery with the brilliant and memorable title of "Defloured". It had the intoxicating, heady flavor of coconut oil, and the aura of coconuts left the firmament and shining their benevolence down on my taste buds. Also: Raspberry icing.
I got two goals taken care of: A smile out of BGB's brother and a picture of Dale not squinting.
Onward! To Casa de la BGB. We followed Dale's nephew Mikey out -who was the gearbox if not the engine behind everything running smoothly this day. Roberta, a good friend of BGB's and mine, and a professional caterer outdid herself with yet another delicious feast of hors d'oeuvres at the house, with everyone stuffed to the gills from Mexican food. Steve mixed drinks for everyone, wine was put out of its misery, and interesting and jovial conversation filled the house.
Mike & I were questioned about our status as an unmarried couple (who'd been living together 24-7 in a 180 square foot space for almost seven years, I might add). I had a pang of guilt saying "Well, we don't want kids and we're not religious, so I don't really see why we should." I'm sure the guys could have given us a ton of practical reasons, but no one seemed to fuss about it. Mike & I had talked about not getting married in protest until they could, but decided against it, since that would mean we'd HAVE to when the inevitable happened and basic human equality was recognized in this insane country, and joked to the guests that we could still do so and just keep putting it off "NO! Same gender couples in Uganda still can't!"
BGB relaxed in front on his display cabinet of glass art and said repeatedly it had been a perfect day. I offered to break a window should he feel something was missing. No. Good. I was happy, the guests were happy, BGB & husband went back to -and I will have to check up on this- the life they'd been leading for the last 20 years together. Western civilization plods onward. Huge thanks to BGB & Dale for the invite, and it was great fun to meet and hang out with their friends and family.
AND Thank you to all of you who voted for Referendum 74 and those before that which made this possible. You all helped make a lot of people happy. Not just the couples, but the respect and joy they share in each others' lives spread to the hoards of people who love them and beyond. So many people are happy for BGB & Dale, and the others who also committed this day, and those who will follow.