Commentary: The Slave Ship (2/2)
Continued commentary written for draugdur
This has been great fun to do, and it made me think deeper about my stories, made me realise my deficiencies in some areas and basically was quite a learning experience. I'm so glad that draugdur had this in her wishlist. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
My comments in bold
Part One
It might interest you to know that the majority of this story was written at almost the last minute. Sure, I did all the research months ago, but maybe until two weeks before I posted, this story looked NOTHING like what it became. My initial plan had the story told from the POV of a male slave on the ship, intercut with scenes of him many years later present in Parliament during the passing of the Slave Trade Act of 1832. I had even typed up half of what I planned, getting to the point just after where my story ended. However, I felt that my original story just didn't seem right for some strange reason. Maybe it was to do with the fact that I had a lot of filler scenes where basically nothing happened at all, or maybe it was because I just couldn't tie the past/present together. Another was my total lack of understanding about the Parliamentary procedures in the UK during the early 19th century. Sure, I did a bit of research online, went to hansard and looked at the parliamentary speeches but even with my year's worth of study in law I couldn't make head or tails of it. So basically, it fell apart and combined with pressures at uni I left the fic for about a month with no idea of how to continue. I didn't want to throw away ALL that I'd written, but I didn't think that the meat of what I'd written could hold up under scrutiny.
So, back to the drawing board for me, and I realised that to get what I wanted, I could tell the story from Hornblower's POV, not the male slave. So my main character and all the backstory I wrote from him disappeared. Then I established the setting and everything described in Part One. So, everything before they arrived on deck to look at the slave ship was written afterwards. From this moment on, I'd written what happened from the slave's POV, I only had to translate it to what Hornblower, Bush and everyone aboard the Lydia saw.
***
An hour later, the Lydia had gained enough distance for Hornblower to identify the slave ship as the Charlotte and discern the features of his crew through his spyglass. They looked as normal as any one might find on an East Indiaman and even the captain wouldn’t look out of place on a man-of-war. He was a shallow faced man in his late forties with pepper grey hair. Clean-shaven. Neat.
Merchant ships (and basically all non-RN ships) were notorious for their poor sailing and poor discipline. In my original fic, I'd established that the Lydia had already been in the offing of the Charlotte for quite sometime before someone on the ship saw her, established her identity as a HMS and started to make a run for it. In my original piece, the slave desribes the captain as being fat, red faced and quite squeamish, which I thought was a rather stereotypical image of an "evil" or "misguided" captain (or rather, any man) so I changed him to be rather normal, which I felt was much better because it suggests that even the most normal people like you and I can do terrible or misguided things.
Hornblower noted that he was surprisingly calm, given that he was about to be captured. The Charlotte's water barrels and spare spars had already been thrown overboard. The captain himself had stayed on deck for most of the time and only went below once - probably to check on the ‘cargo’. Hornblower had heard stories about the conditions slaves were made to suffer on their voyage to the Americas and he did not doubt their veracity.
I'd described the lower decks of the slave ship in vivid detail in my original fic (it was actually quite horrifying. Our protagonist once had a rat chewing on his toes XD ). The captain had made a trip down just after he'd spotted the Lydia, presumably to check how many slaves there were and what condition they were in.
Bush tapped his arm. “Sir, I believe something is happening on the Charlotte.”
Hornblower trained his glasses on the quarterdeck. The captain was arguing with someone - his first mate perhaps? All the seamen had stopped their exertions to watch the scene unfold. There were wild gestures and what looked like an exchange of blows. The first mate stormed away and the captain immediately ordered a handful of men to descend into the lower decks of the ship. After another look at the approaching Lydia, he followed them.
“I wonder what they were arguing about,” murmured Bush beside him.
Hornblower wondered too, but he was not going to let Bush know that. They trained their glasses on the opening and waited for the captain to return on deck.
This is actually a scene I added while I was giving my story its makeover. Surely, I thought, some people on that ship must have scruples about what the Captain was about to do? It had to be an officer; the seamen would've been executed or whipped if they'd argued against the captain, and it must be someone high up enough whose opinion carried some weight. Hence, we have the first mate. (I read somewhere that on merchant ships and the like, the second in command is known as first mate instead of first lieutenant).
A few minutes later he returned, followed by a straggling line of black-skinned slaves, who were chained to each other by their hands and feet. Mostly men, though there were a few women and children amongst them - one who did not look a day over 10. Hornblower felt the bile rise in his throat and could hear Bush and Gerard swear softly beside him. The slaves were clothed in rags and many were so thin that Hornblower could see the bones sticking out of their skin. They were led shuffling to the side of the ship and the chain binding them to each other was unlocked. Most of the slaves collapsed onto the deck, too weak to stand without support.
“Poor bastards,” muttered Bush. “I count about sixty-five in total, sir.”
From my memories of year 10 history and my own research, I believe my description of the slaves condition to be pretty appropriate. Not to turn this into a history lesson, but on the Middle Passage the slaves were usually chained to each other and to the floor, with barely 10cm between one person and their neighbour. They were rarely given the opportunity to go on deck for fresh air or to piss, and only given water (which probably wasn't fresh) and very little food. Men, women and children were chained together.
And I believe our Mr Bush has used the expression "poor bastards" quite a couple of times in bookverse canon
Hornblower nodded. There would have been many more when the Charlotte had weighed anchor at whatever goddamn port she had set sail from, but starvation, disease and despair would’ve killed them off, one by one. And their bodies would’ve been dumped overboard like livestock...
Suddenly, Hornblower realised why the slaves were being brought onto deck and he swore; so vehemently that Bush and Gerard turned to stare at him in alarm.
Hornblower rarely looses control over his emotions (though it has happened, and provide quite a comic relief in the books)
“Sir?” asked Bush hesitantly.
Hornblower shook his head. His fingers clenched around the telescope in anger as he watched the captain of the Charlotte pace up and down her length. Indecision? For a moment, Hornblower thought the captain had seen sense in the face of inevitability and decided not go ahead with…with it. That moment passed, and Hornblower’s hopes crumbled into ash.
Okay, about this whole throwing slaves from ships thing. That's exactly what captains did. Except, well I cheated a little because being chased by the RN wasn't usually the reason they did it, and by the time this fic was set, captains usually didn't do it for the reasons I'm about to mention. There was a law that allowed Captains to claim compensation for any slaves that died during the Middle Passage. However, what some captains did was throw the most ill and dying slaves overboard to claim this compensation. I'm sure we can think of a dozen things that is wrong about what they did but that isn't the point...
In my original fic, the protagonist was unusually one of the stronger ones, able to stand up and, as we will later see, able to survive a most torturous ordeal.
There was barely any resistance - the slaves were too weak to resist after being chained to one place for several weeks with little food and water. Those lying prone on the deck were removed first, their hands still chained together. Hitting the cold water shocked them enough to wake them from their stupor and they lashed out frantically, trying to keep their head above the angry sea. It was to no avail and one by one they sunk below the surface like dead weights, dragged down by the weight of their chains.
The remaining few who were still standing saw their fate and shrank away from the sides. One or two had the strength to run, but with no place to escape to on board a ship in the middle of the ocean they were soon dragged back and forced over the side. Hornblower watched with despair as the few strong slaves held their chained hands above their heads and struggled to stay afloat despite the waves that crushed down on them and tossed them around like ragged dolls.
Honestly? I don't think I did justice to Turner's painting in my descriptions. There is just something so horrifying about those chained black hands reaching up towards the sky, towards a God/Gods that failed to save them, at the forefront of the painting. Also, the storm. I think I underplayed the role of the storm in this story. It was much more vivid and frightening in my original fic, but nothing compared to the power and danger suggested by Turner's painting. After all, a picture's worth a thousand words...
(I can hear you groaning all the way here in Melbourne XD)
Beside him Bush was swearing loudly. Hornblower turned his head and saw that his first lieutenant’s face had gone completely red with pent up fury, his eyes wide with disbelief. On his other side, Gerard mouth’s was wide open and his face pale with shock. Nothing that they’d seen during their decades in the Navy had prepared them for the savagery and cruelty on display here. All the blood and slaughter they had been witness to in the past were in defence of their country and their king. But what was before them now was murder, cold heartless murder. Hornblower’s hands shook.
I wonder if Gerard had seen a fleet battle before? Somehow, I think not. Anyway, the passage "All the blood and slaughter they had been witness to in the past were in defence of their country and their king." was suppose to hint at Bush's participation at Trafalgar.
Now, in the original fic, my protagonist not only had the strength to stay afloat in the frothing sea with his hands chained, but he was also able to grab hold of one of those water barrels tossed overboard earlier and ride out the storm. It was more than a little fantastic and another reason why I stopped working on the fic. I DO NOT THINK that scenario was possible. It was damn near impossible.
“Mr Bush,” he murmured in an undertone, trying and failing to keep his voice steady. “Take the launch and see if you can pick up any survivors.”
In the original fic, Bush is the one who finds our protagonist still alive but unconscious. He brings the man back to the Lydia.
Bush was glaring at the Charlotte with a murderous look in his eye. With an effort he gained control of his emotions and growled his understanding.
“What about the others, sir?”
Hornblower blinked. The others? Oh yes.
“Bring them onboard, Mr Bush...they least the deserve is a proper funeral, the best that we can give them.”
Hornblower watched him leave to choose men for manning the launch before turning to Gerard.
“Bring the ship about to intersect the place where the slaves were thrown overboard, Mr Gerard, and set the stays’ls.”
Gerard nodded and stared at the clouded horizon with narrowed eyes. “We are not going after the bastards, sir?”
Hornblower looked away and closed his eyes for a moment. In his minds eye he could see those dark figures thrashing about widely as the sunk, their ebony hands held above the sea’s surface as if in supplication, praying to a God who had abandoned them. There was no question of going after the Charlotte now- the captain had gambled on his purser’s compassion and moral obligation to try and save the slaves, and had won. And now that Charlotte’s load had lightened somewhat she had picked up a few knots and will soon be lost in the darkness of the night.
No, he will have to let the Charlotte escape for now.
This is what happened in the original fic as well. They stayed behind to look for survivors. Found our protagonist. This is where my writing ended and the notes take over. Afterwards, Hornblower decided to chase after the Charlotte. He is not the kind of guy to let injustice done to others go away unpunished. We see this example OVER and OVER again in canon. It's what's so wonderful about dear Horatio.
“Do you have any objections to your orders, Mr Gerard?”
“No, of course not sir.”
“Then carry on.”
“Aye, aye, sir.”
Hornblower stomped away to the other side of his quarterdeck and tried to get his thoughts in order. He heard angry mutterings behind him and knew his men were as angry and upset as himself and probably even more so. He pressed his eyes together and grimaced. In many respects, they were the luckier one. They go about their daily lives with only a passing awareness of the larger world around them. They would hardly know about Wilberforce’s crusade to abolish slavery. They could hardly know about the act passed in parliament banning the slave trade in Britain’s colonies. Hardly know that it was common practice for slave traders to throw dead and dying slaves overboard to claim insurance, to claim compensation, like a piece of property. Or to escape capture…
This doesn't exactly tie in from the history I know from Amazing Grace. Someone with a better grasp of early 19th century correct me, but I do believe that Slavery was definitely a hot issue that had quite a lot of popular support? That the only reason it took so long for the bill to pass was because many members of Parliament had interests in the Slave Trade. Or am I wrong?
And what exactly would the men's reactions be if they see their captain failing to chase after the ship after what its captain had done? I would think that with any other captain (except maybe Jack Aubrey, or Cochrane... or Collingwood) they would've been furious and downright mutinous. But here, Hornblower had just beaten a frigate twice his strength and his men must have some degree of respect for his abilities and judgment, right?
He shook his head and watched as the launch was lowered with Bush at the helm. Strong, dependable Bush. He would try his hardest to find survivors in that mess before them, would search until the last shard of daylight or until the sea became too violent, to unstable for any rescue operation to continue. But Hornblower was a whist player, and he knew the odds when he saw them. There would be no living soul left for Bush to save.
A little more of my Bush fangirly indulgence here. I'll excuse you while you go and throw up...
Hornblower raised his head and stared blindly at the horizon. He blinked and felt a drop of moisture that left a furrow on his cheek. It had begun to rain.
Hornblower's such a girl, isn't he? I had him "cry" in Both Sides of the Medal and here, it had "begun to rain".
Seriously, rain I think is such a cleaning force, which is why I included it here. It can be a sign of rebirth, of second chances, of new hope... OT, but has anyone seen Shawshank Redemption? Now that's a great movie and that shot of Andy just after he escapes crawling through the sewers, head laid back, chest out, hands extended and bathed in rain. Beautiful and so deep and meaningful. I have that in mind whenever I want to write a "rain scene" like here.
Increasing still the Terrors of these Storms,
His Jaws horrific arm'd with threefold Fate,
Here dwells the direful Shark. Lur'd by the Scent
Of steaming Crowds, of rank Disease, and Death,
Behold! He rushing cuts the briny Flood,
Swift as the Gale can bear the Ship along;
And, from the Partners of the cruel Trade,
Which spoils unhappy Guinea of her Sons,
Demands his share of Prey, demands themselves.
The stormy Fate descends: one Death involves
Tyrants and Slaves; when strait, their mangled Limbs
Crashing at once, he dyes the purple Seas
With Gore, and riots in the vengeful Meal.
- James Thomson, The Seasons “Summer”
This poem is inspired by what I described happened on the Middle Passage and it is believe to be one of Turner's inspirations when he drew that painting. It's great so I thought it would be good to include in the fic to finish off.
I hope you have enjoyed this and please, let me know if you have (or haven't, if you must). I'm considering doing this for other fics, and I would LOVE to know what you all think of it.