The new entry.
Okay, here's the full version of events so far.
Chantal and me went through a lot of crap. And confusion ended up becoming something huge about the whole thing.
The final decision was made at the dance, it faltered slightly, and then became steadfast once more.
The interesting thing about this whole development is that Chantal still loves me, yet I no longer feel the same way for her.
One can never fully stop loving someone, but they can change to something else. More of a friendship kind of love, or maybe sibling type.
Everyone changes, things change. And so do feelings, it's unavoidable. Everything is in a constant state of change, it comes from the fact that we are human.
Humans are bred to create chaos, yet still try to instill order upon themselves. It creates a very interesting world that we live in.
And it makes for a very interesting way of life... It also makes for extremely large differences in people, depending upon how you are raised, whether you're naturally more chaotic than orderly, etc.
There's a friend of mine from Ontario that's also in love with me. I really don't know why, but apparently I draw people to me, and somehow they end up in love with me.
I don't know what about me makes things like this happen. It's strange, but it can't be helped as far as I know, unless I stop talking to people online, and avoid certain people altogether.
I always hurt this particular friend, and it really bothers me, I don't know what really to do, so all I can really do is apologise to her...
I care for her, and even love her, but only as a friend or sibling. It's all I can really say, do, or show. I've contemplated my feelings, and that's what I've come to.
Welcome to my slaughter. Here, I have destroyed two hearts already. I only hope I can bring happiness to the person that I currently do have feelings for.
I will quote this... "Love is a battlefield, and few win here.". It's the truth, that battlefield is bloody. And the only winners are those who can cling to what they care about, and be brutally honest, even when it hurts.
Anyways, I'm kind of leaving my old group of friends and entering another group. I don't do this purposefully, but it's just happening, I'm hanging out with Christina more often.
Thanks to that, I met Kera, my girlfriend. I really like her, she's sweet, pretty, good sense of humour, and she's nice, and honest.
That last one I'm really thankful for, it's something I haven't recieved a lot of lately from some people.
And that's all I can really think of for now... I should write more, I know, but I just don't really have much more to write.
I can't word the rest of my mind. I'm in a weird state.
But as usual... Somehow, I remain the neutral one all of the main states...
Chaos.
Law.
Order.
Good.
Neutrality.
Evil.
Balance.
Shadow.
Darkness.
Light.
Balance...
I always have felt as if I was perfect balance... Am I?
Or is it an illusion.
Or am I truely insane?
Or are my thoughts inane?
What is in store for me in the future?
- Christophski the 83rd.
- Sarlock Renazul Kestrel.
- Christopher Tyler Overs.
- Retosa Sel Kaerel.
Whichever you wish to call me... I am all of those names.
Chantal and me went through a lot of crap. And confusion ended up becoming something huge about the whole thing.
The final decision was made at the dance, it faltered slightly, and then became steadfast once more.
The interesting thing about this whole development is that Chantal still loves me, yet I no longer feel the same way for her.
One can never fully stop loving someone, but they can change to something else. More of a friendship kind of love, or maybe sibling type.
Everyone changes, things change. And so do feelings, it's unavoidable. Everything is in a constant state of change, it comes from the fact that we are human.
Humans are bred to create chaos, yet still try to instill order upon themselves. It creates a very interesting world that we live in.
And it makes for a very interesting way of life... It also makes for extremely large differences in people, depending upon how you are raised, whether you're naturally more chaotic than orderly, etc.
There's a friend of mine from Ontario that's also in love with me. I really don't know why, but apparently I draw people to me, and somehow they end up in love with me.
I don't know what about me makes things like this happen. It's strange, but it can't be helped as far as I know, unless I stop talking to people online, and avoid certain people altogether.
I always hurt this particular friend, and it really bothers me, I don't know what really to do, so all I can really do is apologise to her...
I care for her, and even love her, but only as a friend or sibling. It's all I can really say, do, or show. I've contemplated my feelings, and that's what I've come to.
Welcome to my slaughter. Here, I have destroyed two hearts already. I only hope I can bring happiness to the person that I currently do have feelings for.
I will quote this... "Love is a battlefield, and few win here.". It's the truth, that battlefield is bloody. And the only winners are those who can cling to what they care about, and be brutally honest, even when it hurts.
Anyways, I'm kind of leaving my old group of friends and entering another group. I don't do this purposefully, but it's just happening, I'm hanging out with Christina more often.
Thanks to that, I met Kera, my girlfriend. I really like her, she's sweet, pretty, good sense of humour, and she's nice, and honest.
That last one I'm really thankful for, it's something I haven't recieved a lot of lately from some people.
And that's all I can really think of for now... I should write more, I know, but I just don't really have much more to write.
I can't word the rest of my mind. I'm in a weird state.
But as usual... Somehow, I remain the neutral one all of the main states...
Chaos.
Law.
Order.
Good.
Neutrality.
Evil.
Balance.
Shadow.
Darkness.
Light.
Balance...
I always have felt as if I was perfect balance... Am I?
Or is it an illusion.
Or am I truely insane?
Or are my thoughts inane?
What is in store for me in the future?
- Christophski the 83rd.
- Sarlock Renazul Kestrel.
- Christopher Tyler Overs.
- Retosa Sel Kaerel.
Whichever you wish to call me... I am all of those names.