I Resign
Hello. My name is Nicolas Sarkozy. I am a very irritating short little man. I am useless in bed and have a very very tiny thingie. The only thing I can do well is commit treachery. In fact I am very good at that.
Recently I have become aware that my qualities and qualifications (I was too stupid to go to the ENA) make me unsuited for the post of President of La Republique. I am now resigning. I do not intend to call an election. Instead I will hand the job over to my ex-friend Dominique, whom I wicked and callously betrayed, and if it weren't for that treachery, I'm sure he would have had the job anyway. I also want to apologize to Dominique for persecuting him in Clearstream. In truth I love you, my friend, but persecution and hatred was the only way for me to deal with my unrequited lust for you.
I would also like to apologize to Carla for not being able to satisfy her in bed because I have such a tiny thingie.
That is all.
Yours sincerely,
Nicolas Sarkozy
Recently I have become aware that my qualities and qualifications (I was too stupid to go to the ENA) make me unsuited for the post of President of La Republique. I am now resigning. I do not intend to call an election. Instead I will hand the job over to my ex-friend Dominique, whom I wicked and callously betrayed, and if it weren't for that treachery, I'm sure he would have had the job anyway. I also want to apologize to Dominique for persecuting him in Clearstream. In truth I love you, my friend, but persecution and hatred was the only way for me to deal with my unrequited lust for you.
I would also like to apologize to Carla for not being able to satisfy her in bed because I have such a tiny thingie.
That is all.
Yours sincerely,
Nicolas Sarkozy