Meds, cars, and liquor
So I got up to pee and drink a glass of water because I'm really thirsty... and now I feel like posting.
Recently, as in Thursday, I went to the Dr. I went about a month ago and she suggested I take Lexapro because I almost broke down in tears while telling her about working full time and grad school. Lexapro didn't seem to work very well. I told her I wasn't sure if it was timing, because there had been some additional stress in my life (Mack being without a car for 3 weeks, his dad staying over for 5 days to work on said car before it was taken to a transmission guy, Mack's brother, Wade and Jen being in town and over here a lot). So one night (the last night Stan stayed over actually, I decided to self-medicate and drank a lot. I had a daquiri from work, I had gone directly to Paula's (Mack's mom) after work because I did not want to be home to see Stan... When I was done with the daiquiri I made a creative Jose Cuervo with any juice I can find drink... got home and had with a ride from Mack and Dave (Mack drove Dave's car and Dave drove mine) and then proceeded to drink several Mojitos once we reached home. Somehow, I woke up early like 5:30 or 6 early, showered, got a Venti Grande Frapp from Starbies on my way to work and made it to work by about 7, because Stan was sleeping on my couch and I did not want to be around him! Even though he was sleeping, I made the extra effort to leave my own apartment. That's why that was the last night he stayed over...
So anyway, I went back to the dr. Thursday and was asked how the meds were working and I told her about extra stress and said I didn't think it was noticeable. So she suggested I give Cymbalta a try, currently halfway through the 1st trial sample of 30 mg pills, then onto the 60 mg for the rest of my free trial month. Too early to feel all of the good effects and I've been crazy thirsty (dry mouth is a side effect), but I think I generally don't drink enough fluids (Read: water) anyway. But that's the only bad effect I've noticed and I was reading some online reviews from people (not doctors) who had mixed reviews but some were rave reviews... and a couple people mentioned not gaining weight or losing weight while on the drug. I hope I can be one of those people who loses. Weight gain has been a side effect of my anxiety. I'm not sure if I'm officially diagnosed with anything like GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) or my doctor just recognizes that I'm more stressed out in my life than I need to be. Like crippling stress where I don't know what to do first/next. I come home and don't have any energy to clean. Mack is tired of doing dishes and laundry and I shouldn't be a freeloader...
So I asked Mack to help me to be aware of the drugs effects and whether it seems to be working in changing my affect.
I haven't told my mom about my recent SSRI experimentation. But I think when I quit my job... That is when I have time to apply for a new one, I will use "you drove me to take anxiety medication and you don't have health insurance to cover it" will be at the top of my list for reasons I'm leaving. Along with the fact that my second semester in grad school I was working no less than 40 hours per week and 6 days a week. Some weeks I reached 50 hours... and when I asked to have 2 or 3 days off... I didn't. I had to call in one day so I could write a term peper (the day it was due). And last I checked, my graduate school education was more important than a liquor store that offers no benefits.
Well... I was able to get a pint of Belevedere vodka (usually $20 for the pint) becuase it was "damaged" (the sticker on the side was not attached the way it was supposed to be, so it couldn't be sold) I couldn't take the actual bottle because we needed it to get credit, so I poored it into a Dasani bottle, that I am so glad I labled as soon as I got home. This morning in my search for something to drink, I almost grabbed it to take a swig and wouldn't have wanted to drink that unexpectedly.
More on the meds and general job/life stress soon!
Later
Recently, as in Thursday, I went to the Dr. I went about a month ago and she suggested I take Lexapro because I almost broke down in tears while telling her about working full time and grad school. Lexapro didn't seem to work very well. I told her I wasn't sure if it was timing, because there had been some additional stress in my life (Mack being without a car for 3 weeks, his dad staying over for 5 days to work on said car before it was taken to a transmission guy, Mack's brother, Wade and Jen being in town and over here a lot). So one night (the last night Stan stayed over actually, I decided to self-medicate and drank a lot. I had a daquiri from work, I had gone directly to Paula's (Mack's mom) after work because I did not want to be home to see Stan... When I was done with the daiquiri I made a creative Jose Cuervo with any juice I can find drink... got home and had with a ride from Mack and Dave (Mack drove Dave's car and Dave drove mine) and then proceeded to drink several Mojitos once we reached home. Somehow, I woke up early like 5:30 or 6 early, showered, got a Venti Grande Frapp from Starbies on my way to work and made it to work by about 7, because Stan was sleeping on my couch and I did not want to be around him! Even though he was sleeping, I made the extra effort to leave my own apartment. That's why that was the last night he stayed over...
So anyway, I went back to the dr. Thursday and was asked how the meds were working and I told her about extra stress and said I didn't think it was noticeable. So she suggested I give Cymbalta a try, currently halfway through the 1st trial sample of 30 mg pills, then onto the 60 mg for the rest of my free trial month. Too early to feel all of the good effects and I've been crazy thirsty (dry mouth is a side effect), but I think I generally don't drink enough fluids (Read: water) anyway. But that's the only bad effect I've noticed and I was reading some online reviews from people (not doctors) who had mixed reviews but some were rave reviews... and a couple people mentioned not gaining weight or losing weight while on the drug. I hope I can be one of those people who loses. Weight gain has been a side effect of my anxiety. I'm not sure if I'm officially diagnosed with anything like GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) or my doctor just recognizes that I'm more stressed out in my life than I need to be. Like crippling stress where I don't know what to do first/next. I come home and don't have any energy to clean. Mack is tired of doing dishes and laundry and I shouldn't be a freeloader...
So I asked Mack to help me to be aware of the drugs effects and whether it seems to be working in changing my affect.
I haven't told my mom about my recent SSRI experimentation. But I think when I quit my job... That is when I have time to apply for a new one, I will use "you drove me to take anxiety medication and you don't have health insurance to cover it" will be at the top of my list for reasons I'm leaving. Along with the fact that my second semester in grad school I was working no less than 40 hours per week and 6 days a week. Some weeks I reached 50 hours... and when I asked to have 2 or 3 days off... I didn't. I had to call in one day so I could write a term peper (the day it was due). And last I checked, my graduate school education was more important than a liquor store that offers no benefits.
Well... I was able to get a pint of Belevedere vodka (usually $20 for the pint) becuase it was "damaged" (the sticker on the side was not attached the way it was supposed to be, so it couldn't be sold) I couldn't take the actual bottle because we needed it to get credit, so I poored it into a Dasani bottle, that I am so glad I labled as soon as I got home. This morning in my search for something to drink, I almost grabbed it to take a swig and wouldn't have wanted to drink that unexpectedly.
More on the meds and general job/life stress soon!
Later