Life sucks.
I'm not sure when it happened. I'm not sure what has changed.
I feel shitty and I feel like my whole life is shitty. I couldn't find my cell phone charger last night (still don't know where it is...) and I got in bed and started to cry. Mack was reading. I'm not even sure what exactly I was crying about. My room is a mess, it has been for a while. I made a little progress putting some things away this weekend, but there's still shit all over the middle of the floor. Yesterday I walked out of my bedroom to go through Dave's half of the bathroom to get to the toilet rather than risk injury by wading through my/Mack's crap.
I think my cell charger is lost in the mess somewhere. I cleared off some space on and around Mack's desk downstairs. I'm typing at his computer now because mine is surrounded by shit upstairs and being surrounded by clutter (clothes, paper, who knows what else) makes me feel claustrophobic, crowded, and completely unmotivated to do anything. I just don't like it.
When I sat down at this desk a few minutes ago, a vase that was filled with popurri fell, hitting my hand on its way down and spilling all its contents on me, the desk, and the floor.
I really don't want to deal with it right now. I just want to crawl in bed.
Work felt exceptionally long today. When I was crying last night Mack tried to comfort me and find out what was wrong. I mentioned the mess. But there's more to it than that.
I feel like I have no time and no control. I need to get out of this apartment. I need to get exercise and stop eating fast food all the freaking time. I just don't have any energy. How do you make yourself do something when you barely have the energy to climb the stairs? Sometimes I take a nap on the couch because I don't want to go all the way upstairs. How do you change that?
I'm either stressed or depressed or maybe I'm both.
I think I'll take a nap, maybe until Mack gets home. Supposedly that will be around 5 or 5:30. I'll believe when I see it.
I feel shitty and I feel like my whole life is shitty. I couldn't find my cell phone charger last night (still don't know where it is...) and I got in bed and started to cry. Mack was reading. I'm not even sure what exactly I was crying about. My room is a mess, it has been for a while. I made a little progress putting some things away this weekend, but there's still shit all over the middle of the floor. Yesterday I walked out of my bedroom to go through Dave's half of the bathroom to get to the toilet rather than risk injury by wading through my/Mack's crap.
I think my cell charger is lost in the mess somewhere. I cleared off some space on and around Mack's desk downstairs. I'm typing at his computer now because mine is surrounded by shit upstairs and being surrounded by clutter (clothes, paper, who knows what else) makes me feel claustrophobic, crowded, and completely unmotivated to do anything. I just don't like it.
When I sat down at this desk a few minutes ago, a vase that was filled with popurri fell, hitting my hand on its way down and spilling all its contents on me, the desk, and the floor.
I really don't want to deal with it right now. I just want to crawl in bed.
Work felt exceptionally long today. When I was crying last night Mack tried to comfort me and find out what was wrong. I mentioned the mess. But there's more to it than that.
I feel like I have no time and no control. I need to get out of this apartment. I need to get exercise and stop eating fast food all the freaking time. I just don't have any energy. How do you make yourself do something when you barely have the energy to climb the stairs? Sometimes I take a nap on the couch because I don't want to go all the way upstairs. How do you change that?
I'm either stressed or depressed or maybe I'm both.
I think I'll take a nap, maybe until Mack gets home. Supposedly that will be around 5 or 5:30. I'll believe when I see it.