one last time
ok so i know i've been posting alot the past 2 days but there has just been alot in my head. i promise that this is the last one for awhile.....
i wish i could stop these thoughts. to have something to distract myself. i want you. i know that one moment with you could heal every ounce of this pain. but here i sit alone, forgotten. i'm so easy to dismiss. hard to remember, easy to forget. everyone i love forgets so easy. i dont want to be numb but i dont know how to deal with this again. i know that this is is. this is where it ends. im sorry. why am i so easy to cast aside? i wish i could do something to make u love me, really love me. i pray that this feeling will go away but somehow i know it wont.
i find myself searching for the words to say. im sorry that it has to end this way. i'll never forget the moments we had. but i cant live life feeling this bad. i tried to be the good girl who did it all right. but that didnt work im still empty at night. i wish you could see the pain i feel. this is a nightmare but this time it's real. it begins to spiral, i know im lost. and yet i still know you're not the cause. i may never know how this came to be. i leave this at its end and im left with only me.
not who i was but what's who i want to be? is this really true? am i happy? some days it's hard and i sit and cry. i try to live but still want to die. what do i matter? there is no worth, just a hollow corpse that walks this earth. doomed to spend eternity locked in my cage of uncertainty. thriving on chaos but never life. time spent alone with fists clenched tight. if i never love i'll never lose in this game where all the players are fools. a shatter, its gone but what do i care? just the loss of a life that was never even there.
it came so quickly, lack of feeling, when i prayed for salvation. emptiness but still thoughts reeling. i'll never be the same again. all my days spent in darkness, praying for the light i seek. never knowing happiness, trapped inside a shell so weak. i sit to watch the days go on but time is meaningless now. able only to continue and still never knowing how
i wish i could stop these thoughts. to have something to distract myself. i want you. i know that one moment with you could heal every ounce of this pain. but here i sit alone, forgotten. i'm so easy to dismiss. hard to remember, easy to forget. everyone i love forgets so easy. i dont want to be numb but i dont know how to deal with this again. i know that this is is. this is where it ends. im sorry. why am i so easy to cast aside? i wish i could do something to make u love me, really love me. i pray that this feeling will go away but somehow i know it wont.
i find myself searching for the words to say. im sorry that it has to end this way. i'll never forget the moments we had. but i cant live life feeling this bad. i tried to be the good girl who did it all right. but that didnt work im still empty at night. i wish you could see the pain i feel. this is a nightmare but this time it's real. it begins to spiral, i know im lost. and yet i still know you're not the cause. i may never know how this came to be. i leave this at its end and im left with only me.
not who i was but what's who i want to be? is this really true? am i happy? some days it's hard and i sit and cry. i try to live but still want to die. what do i matter? there is no worth, just a hollow corpse that walks this earth. doomed to spend eternity locked in my cage of uncertainty. thriving on chaos but never life. time spent alone with fists clenched tight. if i never love i'll never lose in this game where all the players are fools. a shatter, its gone but what do i care? just the loss of a life that was never even there.
it came so quickly, lack of feeling, when i prayed for salvation. emptiness but still thoughts reeling. i'll never be the same again. all my days spent in darkness, praying for the light i seek. never knowing happiness, trapped inside a shell so weak. i sit to watch the days go on but time is meaningless now. able only to continue and still never knowing how