(no subject)
I used to hate him.
I used to wish death upon him.
Why do I feel like I have to patch things up with him?
Why did I bother trying to be nice to him?
I tried to get the "family" together for the 4th of July.. He said Nope..he had too many bills to pay, couldn't afford a cookout.
Instead, he had a cookout with some bitch's family.
The room that used to be mine.. Yeah..apparently it has a bed in it...that someone else sleeps in.
Why does that bother me? I don't live there anymore.
He wont help me pay for college... Now I'll struggle more than i already am.
I shouldn't have relied on him for college money in the past.
I should have known that he wouldn't help me out..
After all, he has never actually acted like a father to me.
This is the man that said "Happy Birthday" on the wrong day..
He couldn't even get me a card.
Didn't make any effort to see me on my birthday..only 15 minutes away.
What kind of a "father" does that.
I can't have one single conversation with him where I don't end up crying.
He always yells at me...when will he ever say anything positive to me.
Kyran had mentioned that I always make him seem like its always his fault...and making him feel like shit..
and I didn't realize until last night that... I learned it from my father.
I don't want to be like him.
He is scum.
I hate that I want him to care..
He has no heart.
I hate crying over him...
I ALWAYS cry over him.
I used to wish death upon him.
Why do I feel like I have to patch things up with him?
Why did I bother trying to be nice to him?
I tried to get the "family" together for the 4th of July.. He said Nope..he had too many bills to pay, couldn't afford a cookout.
Instead, he had a cookout with some bitch's family.
The room that used to be mine.. Yeah..apparently it has a bed in it...that someone else sleeps in.
Why does that bother me? I don't live there anymore.
He wont help me pay for college... Now I'll struggle more than i already am.
I shouldn't have relied on him for college money in the past.
I should have known that he wouldn't help me out..
After all, he has never actually acted like a father to me.
This is the man that said "Happy Birthday" on the wrong day..
He couldn't even get me a card.
Didn't make any effort to see me on my birthday..only 15 minutes away.
What kind of a "father" does that.
I can't have one single conversation with him where I don't end up crying.
He always yells at me...when will he ever say anything positive to me.
Kyran had mentioned that I always make him seem like its always his fault...and making him feel like shit..
and I didn't realize until last night that... I learned it from my father.
I don't want to be like him.
He is scum.
I hate that I want him to care..
He has no heart.
I hate crying over him...
I ALWAYS cry over him.