Bono is huddling in a corner somewhere
Listen, flist: I think you need to know something about me: I love U2. I don't mean that in an Elliot Reid-organizing-her-cd-collection-way; I mean it in a Lorelai Gilmore, "Remember when you were 12 years old and thought you discovered U2?" kind of way.
Just to give you an idea:
-U2 was the band that got me into modern music. Before them, it was all Beatles and Beach Boys and the soundtrack to The Big Chill.
-I own every single U2 CD known to man, including the very rare live concert import, "Zooacoustic."
-I own nearly every U2 concert DVD, except for this last one, but that's okay because
-I was at the concert taping, which coincidentally was in Chicago on May 10, 2005--Bono's 45th birthday
-Yes, I do know Bono's birthday; I got my license on his 37th birthday because I was 16 and thought it would be awesome to have the historic date forever written in plastic next to my name.
-I can, on command, recite Mr. McPhisto's speech from the ZooTV tour. (And for all of you scratching your heads, saying, "Mr. McWho?" Well, my point is proved even more.)
-I have seen the lads in concert not once, not twice, not three times but FIVE times.
-I equate my third U2 concert, seen not too long after September 11th, to a religious experience. I am not really religious, but for three hours one evening in October of 2001, I finally understood how one could feel the presence of a higher being.
-I have actually read a U2 biography. (This one)
- No amount of leather, sunglasses, shoe lifts, or preaching will make me less attracted to Bono. There is nothing he could do that would make me not want to rip his clothes off and do very dirty things to him. Because Bono? Is sexy. I don't care; I don't care if you guys are all grossed out. I don't care what anyone thinks. Yeah, he's short. Yeah, he has the potential to be very hairy. Yeah, he is a sweaty Irish man. I don't care. I want to lick the sweat off of him. I want to tie him up and bite him and...well...you get the picture.
The bottom line here is that I love U2. I also love Elliot Yamin. So imagine my delight this evening when I heard the first few bars of "One," and saw Elliot walk onto the stage during American Idol. Y'all, I'm not ashamed to tell you that I got a bit teary. Then Elliot started singing, and he was doing the song differently than Bono does it, but that was okay because he was doing his thing, and he sounded great. "This is going to be fantastic," I said out loud to no one in particular.
And then it happened.
Or should I say: She happened.
Mary.
J.
Blige.
Or as I will now refer to her: "That slut who ruined 'One.'"
What the frak people? She was awful. AWFUL. Not only that, but she over-sung the song and overshadowed poor Elliot, who is too nice of a guy to not take the lead, which is why he didn't win American Idol in the first place. (Don't even get me started on that one. Okay, I admit, Taylor kind of grew on me at the last minute, and I agree that he is the most talented performer of the bench. But my heart is with Elliot.)
I never got the appeal of Mary J. Blige to begin with. But after that performance? Guys, she was...she was....I can't even think of an adjective to describe how terrible she sounded. It wasn't singing; it was screeching. And she was all off tempo (which..how does that even happen with One? The song is not terribly complicated.)
I know, I know, I'm sure they tried to get Bono, and he wouldn't lower himself to appearing on American Idol, which is one of the things I love about him, but..but...Mary J Blige? Get Michael Stipe. Get Rufus Wainright. Hell, just have Elliot and Taylor sing it together. Anyone but horrible, terrible, Mary J. Blige.
*sigh* I'm sorry, Bono. I'm sorry she killed your song. And hey, if you need someone to comfort you in this period of mourning, I know a girl who will lick those tears right off you.
Just to give you an idea:
-U2 was the band that got me into modern music. Before them, it was all Beatles and Beach Boys and the soundtrack to The Big Chill.
-I own every single U2 CD known to man, including the very rare live concert import, "Zooacoustic."
-I own nearly every U2 concert DVD, except for this last one, but that's okay because
-I was at the concert taping, which coincidentally was in Chicago on May 10, 2005--Bono's 45th birthday
-Yes, I do know Bono's birthday; I got my license on his 37th birthday because I was 16 and thought it would be awesome to have the historic date forever written in plastic next to my name.
-I can, on command, recite Mr. McPhisto's speech from the ZooTV tour. (And for all of you scratching your heads, saying, "Mr. McWho?" Well, my point is proved even more.)
-I have seen the lads in concert not once, not twice, not three times but FIVE times.
-I equate my third U2 concert, seen not too long after September 11th, to a religious experience. I am not really religious, but for three hours one evening in October of 2001, I finally understood how one could feel the presence of a higher being.
-I have actually read a U2 biography. (This one)
- No amount of leather, sunglasses, shoe lifts, or preaching will make me less attracted to Bono. There is nothing he could do that would make me not want to rip his clothes off and do very dirty things to him. Because Bono? Is sexy. I don't care; I don't care if you guys are all grossed out. I don't care what anyone thinks. Yeah, he's short. Yeah, he has the potential to be very hairy. Yeah, he is a sweaty Irish man. I don't care. I want to lick the sweat off of him. I want to tie him up and bite him and...well...you get the picture.
The bottom line here is that I love U2. I also love Elliot Yamin. So imagine my delight this evening when I heard the first few bars of "One," and saw Elliot walk onto the stage during American Idol. Y'all, I'm not ashamed to tell you that I got a bit teary. Then Elliot started singing, and he was doing the song differently than Bono does it, but that was okay because he was doing his thing, and he sounded great. "This is going to be fantastic," I said out loud to no one in particular.
And then it happened.
Or should I say: She happened.
Mary.
J.
Blige.
Or as I will now refer to her: "That slut who ruined 'One.'"
What the frak people? She was awful. AWFUL. Not only that, but she over-sung the song and overshadowed poor Elliot, who is too nice of a guy to not take the lead, which is why he didn't win American Idol in the first place. (Don't even get me started on that one. Okay, I admit, Taylor kind of grew on me at the last minute, and I agree that he is the most talented performer of the bench. But my heart is with Elliot.)
I never got the appeal of Mary J. Blige to begin with. But after that performance? Guys, she was...she was....I can't even think of an adjective to describe how terrible she sounded. It wasn't singing; it was screeching. And she was all off tempo (which..how does that even happen with One? The song is not terribly complicated.)
I know, I know, I'm sure they tried to get Bono, and he wouldn't lower himself to appearing on American Idol, which is one of the things I love about him, but..but...Mary J Blige? Get Michael Stipe. Get Rufus Wainright. Hell, just have Elliot and Taylor sing it together. Anyone but horrible, terrible, Mary J. Blige.
*sigh* I'm sorry, Bono. I'm sorry she killed your song. And hey, if you need someone to comfort you in this period of mourning, I know a girl who will lick those tears right off you.