life is good
Its probably been forever since i have written in this thing and I dont even know who reads it but I thought I might give it a shot considering all the changing I have done over the last month and a half.
I was sick of the games. I was sick of not having a greater purpose in life so I found something amazing to believe in. I know I was always proud of being a Jew but I never really "knew" judaism.
I spent three weeks in israel and only a dozen days in class and already I am hooked. I've crossed to the dark side my friends. I sat in class and listened to passionate rabbi's and teachers talk about life and love and judaism. I heard my thoughts being vocalized. All those things that have been jumbled around in my head for the past 12 years are finally put in words. It all started to make sense. So I decided to work on my relationship with God and my relationship with myself. I was done talking about boys and hair and clothes. I wanted to have conversations about Gods existence, our purposes in life, why bad things happen to good people, why there is evil in the world..etc. And there were people in this seminary who would do that. I went to bed at night energized and woke up the next morning eager to learn more. I started wearing skirts and covering my elbows and collarbone. I stopped looking at my body and started looking at my neshama, my soul and discovered I really loved that person. I looked for the perfection in my inperfection. I stopped touching boys let alone kissing or anything like that and I really saw the respect that had for me. I formed real relationships, based on intelligence as opposed to phyisical touch. I smiled a lot more. I found passion and purpose in my actions.
And the great part is I came back from Israel and Im still continuing to be that person. I learn new things everyday and I love when my campers and my friends around me notice. It reasures me that I am doing the right thing. Yes there are some people who dont get it but I do take the time to explain myself because its important that the people i care about understand what is going on in my life.
I think I am now offically ready to be an adult. I have never wanted to settle down before but now that urge is creeping up on me. Camp is great, dont get me wrong, but I am excited to move out to LA and start my life.
There is so much more to say but its almost lunch time and you know how good camp food is :o)
I miss everyone. Keep Smilin people.
I was sick of the games. I was sick of not having a greater purpose in life so I found something amazing to believe in. I know I was always proud of being a Jew but I never really "knew" judaism.
I spent three weeks in israel and only a dozen days in class and already I am hooked. I've crossed to the dark side my friends. I sat in class and listened to passionate rabbi's and teachers talk about life and love and judaism. I heard my thoughts being vocalized. All those things that have been jumbled around in my head for the past 12 years are finally put in words. It all started to make sense. So I decided to work on my relationship with God and my relationship with myself. I was done talking about boys and hair and clothes. I wanted to have conversations about Gods existence, our purposes in life, why bad things happen to good people, why there is evil in the world..etc. And there were people in this seminary who would do that. I went to bed at night energized and woke up the next morning eager to learn more. I started wearing skirts and covering my elbows and collarbone. I stopped looking at my body and started looking at my neshama, my soul and discovered I really loved that person. I looked for the perfection in my inperfection. I stopped touching boys let alone kissing or anything like that and I really saw the respect that had for me. I formed real relationships, based on intelligence as opposed to phyisical touch. I smiled a lot more. I found passion and purpose in my actions.
And the great part is I came back from Israel and Im still continuing to be that person. I learn new things everyday and I love when my campers and my friends around me notice. It reasures me that I am doing the right thing. Yes there are some people who dont get it but I do take the time to explain myself because its important that the people i care about understand what is going on in my life.
I think I am now offically ready to be an adult. I have never wanted to settle down before but now that urge is creeping up on me. Camp is great, dont get me wrong, but I am excited to move out to LA and start my life.
There is so much more to say but its almost lunch time and you know how good camp food is :o)
I miss everyone. Keep Smilin people.