It's that time again... presenting quotes from my weirdo friends.
Woman: I hate doing laundry
Kevin: I hear ya...I've got four dryers full of hatred spinning as we speak.
"My cleanness only goes skin deep." - Joey.
"There was an insertion in my ear! It wasn't okay!" -Me.
"Hi Twin, I'm on your crotch!" -Sanford, via text.
"Welcome to the Dark Side. We have Cookies. And High Paying Salaries." -Me.
"That's what happens when you start doing Religion like a Korean pre-teen plays Starcraft." -Mark.
"Mucho sad face? Muy boo hoo?" -Kevin.
"I am secretly a fat kid at heart and Princess Leia's hair makes me hungry." -Jenna.
"Oh my god this sandwich can change the flow of life. It's god in meat bread and cheese form. I see the light." -Nickola.
"Sanford is the only man she can have sex with and have it still feel like abstinence." -Kevin.
"Have you been violated by your sinus tentacles?" -Don.
Me: I'm at the airport. Plane leaves in two hours.
Ivan: Oh god. Airport. Trouble.
Me: I am not in trouble! I haven't done anything! (Yet?)
Ivan: You're a flaming pinko commie liberal peacenik. You're up to something *squints and keeps an eye on you*
Monica: Do I look like a foreplay kind of girl?
Maria: It depends on who the other three players are.
"Wait. You're saying it's bothersome to have your cock sticking out of my underwear?!" -Me.
"Shopping Cart Demolition Derby is the shit." -Kevin.
"Jesse wants to eat FemBots." -Kat.
"Oh, fuck my life. Fuck it doggy style." -Me.
"You're Sara. The cute DJ, Jell-O wrestling girl. You do what you want." -Rob.
"It is time to explore darkest Africa!" *goes into Twin's bedroom*. -Brian.
"I was like 'zombies...' NUMA NUMA NUMA!" -Me.
"A major shortcoming of today's online payment process is that it usually requires you to get up and find your pants." -Curt.
"Yeah, except slinkies aren't black boys from Peter Pan who plan on growing up to be the next black Santa Claus!" -Me.
Alex: What are you thinking about? You've had this concentrated look on your face for a while.
Me: Oh, you know. Stuff and things. Things and stuff.
Alex: You shouldn't think about stuff and things. Think about bubbles instead.
Me: ZOMG BUBBLY BUBBLES!!!
JP: I have just realized I don't understand you.
Me: But... bubbles!
Me: Your mom won the race last night! In bed! With me!
Alex: Have you even met my mom yet?
Me: No.
Me: He can totally pull it off.
Kevin: Can he pull off having long hair? Or can he pull off the top you're wearing?
Me: Oh, both.
"You're going contrail dancing? How the hell do you dance on vapor at 17,000ft?" -Ivan.
Kevin: I hear ya...I've got four dryers full of hatred spinning as we speak.
"My cleanness only goes skin deep." - Joey.
"There was an insertion in my ear! It wasn't okay!" -Me.
"Hi Twin, I'm on your crotch!" -Sanford, via text.
"Welcome to the Dark Side. We have Cookies. And High Paying Salaries." -Me.
"That's what happens when you start doing Religion like a Korean pre-teen plays Starcraft." -Mark.
"Mucho sad face? Muy boo hoo?" -Kevin.
"I am secretly a fat kid at heart and Princess Leia's hair makes me hungry." -Jenna.
"Oh my god this sandwich can change the flow of life. It's god in meat bread and cheese form. I see the light." -Nickola.
"Sanford is the only man she can have sex with and have it still feel like abstinence." -Kevin.
"Have you been violated by your sinus tentacles?" -Don.
Me: I'm at the airport. Plane leaves in two hours.
Ivan: Oh god. Airport. Trouble.
Me: I am not in trouble! I haven't done anything! (Yet?)
Ivan: You're a flaming pinko commie liberal peacenik. You're up to something *squints and keeps an eye on you*
Monica: Do I look like a foreplay kind of girl?
Maria: It depends on who the other three players are.
"Wait. You're saying it's bothersome to have your cock sticking out of my underwear?!" -Me.
"Shopping Cart Demolition Derby is the shit." -Kevin.
"Jesse wants to eat FemBots." -Kat.
"Oh, fuck my life. Fuck it doggy style." -Me.
"You're Sara. The cute DJ, Jell-O wrestling girl. You do what you want." -Rob.
"It is time to explore darkest Africa!" *goes into Twin's bedroom*. -Brian.
"I was like 'zombies...' NUMA NUMA NUMA!" -Me.
"A major shortcoming of today's online payment process is that it usually requires you to get up and find your pants." -Curt.
"Yeah, except slinkies aren't black boys from Peter Pan who plan on growing up to be the next black Santa Claus!" -Me.
Alex: What are you thinking about? You've had this concentrated look on your face for a while.
Me: Oh, you know. Stuff and things. Things and stuff.
Alex: You shouldn't think about stuff and things. Think about bubbles instead.
Me: ZOMG BUBBLY BUBBLES!!!
JP: I have just realized I don't understand you.
Me: But... bubbles!
Me: Your mom won the race last night! In bed! With me!
Alex: Have you even met my mom yet?
Me: No.
Me: He can totally pull it off.
Kevin: Can he pull off having long hair? Or can he pull off the top you're wearing?
Me: Oh, both.
"You're going contrail dancing? How the hell do you dance on vapor at 17,000ft?" -Ivan.