Peoples need to laugh.
Here: I provide the means.
Q: What is a Yankee?
A: The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
A: The position of the dirt bag
Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
A: Doughnuts.
Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.
Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Q: Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
A: Because they have cotton balls.
Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blonde baby?
A: They named him "Sum Ting Wong."
Q: What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A: A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
Q: How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Q: Why is there no Disneyland in Japan?
A: No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
In other news, I'm gimping around the world with a cane. I feel gimpy and cool. My cane is decorated with blue and purple tape. It's happy. And what's more, I move tomorrow!! YAHOOOOOOOOOO! *bounce, grimace on stupid foot, say f*ck it and keep bouncing*
Q: What is a Yankee?
A: The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
A: The position of the dirt bag
Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
A: Doughnuts.
Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.
Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Q: Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Q: Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
A: Because they have cotton balls.
Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blonde baby?
A: They named him "Sum Ting Wong."
Q: What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A: A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
Q: How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Q: Why is there no Disneyland in Japan?
A: No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
In other news, I'm gimping around the world with a cane. I feel gimpy and cool. My cane is decorated with blue and purple tape. It's happy. And what's more, I move tomorrow!! YAHOOOOOOOOOO! *bounce, grimace on stupid foot, say f*ck it and keep bouncing*