Random crap.
Well the good news is I have a new job, or at least a job offer, which should turn into a job in maybe a week here, barring disaster. I'm really, really liking this place already. It pays better, it's 8-5 M-F with no weekends, all kinds of good. The only 'but' is that they are doing a reeeeaaaallllyy thorough background check, and I'm concerned because there are some - 'ahem' - little white half-truths on my resume that I am hoping they don't uncover, or make a big deal about if they do. I mean, you'd think they'd expect a bit of fibbing on a resume, since it's pretty much a universal sport with a long and distinguished history. So I'm just waiting on that stuff to get done and for them to call me back. Suspense. I fucking hate suspense.
I have the flu, or something similar.
naamah_darling had it on Friday and Saturday, and then I got it. The major symptom is that I have been so tired I can barely get out of bed. Naamah spent pretty much all of Friday between the sheets, and now it's my turn. I don't seem to have as bad a case, but it still sucks being all wobbly and logy. Plus this is not the kind of sick where your brain turns off, so sleeping is actually not that easy. You lie there, too exhausted to move, while your brain whirrs away like a little anxiety centrifuge. You guys know what I mean. That time of night when every worry, every what-if, every might-have-been comes and sits on your chest and breathes on your face while you toss and turn and wish you could get some fucking sleep. It gets ridiculous when you find yourself lying in bed at 4 am obsessively going over things you screwed up like 10 years ago, and you know it's absolutely pointless but your brian doesn't care, it just keeps spinning faster and faster, replaying every sucky moment in your life. And if you try and stop it and think of something else it just changes the subject and keeps on coming like a mother-in-law with the scent of blood in her nostrils.
There was a part on Babylon 5 where Ivanova talked about this being 'The Hour Of The Wolf', but I think of it more as the Hour Of The Locust, since I don't know about you, but my anxieties don't come one at a time, they swarm. Everything seems worse when it's 4 in the morning and you're the only one up, you're sick, and unemployed, and the Locusts start buzzing. Fuck, I'm gonna go download some porn or something.
I have the flu, or something similar.
naamah_darling had it on Friday and Saturday, and then I got it. The major symptom is that I have been so tired I can barely get out of bed. Naamah spent pretty much all of Friday between the sheets, and now it's my turn. I don't seem to have as bad a case, but it still sucks being all wobbly and logy. Plus this is not the kind of sick where your brain turns off, so sleeping is actually not that easy. You lie there, too exhausted to move, while your brain whirrs away like a little anxiety centrifuge. You guys know what I mean. That time of night when every worry, every what-if, every might-have-been comes and sits on your chest and breathes on your face while you toss and turn and wish you could get some fucking sleep. It gets ridiculous when you find yourself lying in bed at 4 am obsessively going over things you screwed up like 10 years ago, and you know it's absolutely pointless but your brian doesn't care, it just keeps spinning faster and faster, replaying every sucky moment in your life. And if you try and stop it and think of something else it just changes the subject and keeps on coming like a mother-in-law with the scent of blood in her nostrils.
There was a part on Babylon 5 where Ivanova talked about this being 'The Hour Of The Wolf', but I think of it more as the Hour Of The Locust, since I don't know about you, but my anxieties don't come one at a time, they swarm. Everything seems worse when it's 4 in the morning and you're the only one up, you're sick, and unemployed, and the Locusts start buzzing. Fuck, I'm gonna go download some porn or something.