Sargonism
So I've been in this awkward situation for a while now. I joined a game being run by a very old and dear friend, who invited me to join along with Naamah and another friend of his, who brought along a third person whom I did not previously know and who was a complete noob, which I am in no way opposed to. For the sake of the post, let us call the gamemaster "GM", the friend of his "Otis" and the new person (a she) "Rosie". The person named GM will undoubtedly read this and may out himself if he likes - that's okay, It's his opinion I care about anyway.
Now I had gamed with GM before, many times. I have known him for something like 20 years and he is one of my oldest friends and favorite people (along with his wife, who does not figure in this story but is a capital person as well.) I have gamed with him, off and on, since like 1992 or so, and I know how he runs things. Now GM and I just do not seem to have compatible styles, game-wise. It's not anybody's fault, we just do things differently. I knew this going into this game, and I was willing to just go along for the ride for the sake of the social fun hanging out has always been. I invited them to game at our house (insisted, is more like it) because GM's apartment is small and very crowded, and I knew gaming over there would mean long hours of people sitting on the floor. Add to this, that it costs Naamah a lot of mental energy to go out, and I knew it would be easier on her - and therefore both of us - if we did not create another night of the week when we *have* to go out.
Well, my experience with the game was not so good this time, mostly as a result of Otis and Rosie. Let me qualify that by saying that my character was a bit of a pain in the ass as well, and not all the blame can be assigned to one person here. I'm not really wanting to assign blame anyway. Otis, whom I have gamed with before, is an older guy with what used to be a gentle tendency to wisecrack and make bad puns. He's the kind of persona-deficient borderline-aspergers-type that gaming has always attracted, and I am accustomed to tuning out the annoying bits. This time my filters were inadequate, as Otis was set to 11, and often made it impossible for me to even follow the plot because GM could not even deliver exposition without being heckled literally line-by-line. This probably didn't bother GM so much, as he has known Otis faaar longer than I have and is well used to him. It was powerfully irritating, and probably resulted in my character being even more difficult than she would have been.
My problem with Rosie is more complex, as gaming with her was not really an ordeal - but I came to dislike her on a personal level more and more as time went on. She's just one of those people: always late, always with a tale of woe, always someone else's fault. She's not especially bright, but she's not a mean or unpleasant person - she's just a person whom I have nothing to say to. Plus she's a heavy smoker, and always comes in reeking like an ashtray. Early on she borrowed my Firefly set, and it took three days of washing to get the stink out. I privately decided to never lend her anything else, as she is about as reliable as a tornado.
Eventually I got tired of zero cooperation and my teammates yelling at me and I quit the game. Kind of in a huff, yeah, but it was a relief to get out of it, as I hadn't really been enjoying the game. Actually that's not fair: I had been so busy hating my teammates that I never really noticed whether or not I was enjoying the game. So for a while it has gone on. Naamah still plays, and they still play over here, and I just kind of avoid the whole thing. I don't really mind, though I do miss getting to hang out with GM, and I detest the cigarette smell that always lingers
So last week I was out the whole time they were here, over chatting with my father in law. I got back and they were gone, and a day or so later I notice that two of my Lord of the Rings DVDs are missing. Not just any of them, but my Special Editions. I ask Naamah where they are and she says she lent them to Rosie, and I got mad at her. Unfair of me, as she was not privy to my resolve to never lend stuff to Rosie again, but the thought of The Human Disaster with my treasured special editions gives me hives. I have no way to contact Rosie (another reason I'm not keen to loan her stuff) so I email GM and tell him that I would like somebody to tell her I want those back, like now, as I would not have approved their loan had I been here. I was also quite upfront with the fact that I neither like nor trust Rosie, because GM is no idiot and I am pretty sure he knows that already. Now he says he hasn't got her number either, so he will forward this on to Otis. Now I do not know if this means he just forwarded the exact email on, because if he did things may be about to blow up. I think Otis has a kind of a thing for Rosie - in fact I suspect that's the whole reason she was invited in the first place. Gods alone know where a smart guy like Otis even met a rather dim bulb like Rosie.
So I am kind of wishing the whole situation would just go away. I don't want to have to explain to Rosie in person that I don't like her at all. I don't want to have Otis mad at me because I don't like his girl crush. I don't really want Rosie in my house anymore. And more than anything I don't want Naamah and GM in the middle of this because they don't need the grief. I just want my stupid DVDs back and to not have to fight with people about who I do and do not want around.
GM, for the record, if this blows up, I am very sorry. I have been trying to be diplomatic about this for a long time.
Now I had gamed with GM before, many times. I have known him for something like 20 years and he is one of my oldest friends and favorite people (along with his wife, who does not figure in this story but is a capital person as well.) I have gamed with him, off and on, since like 1992 or so, and I know how he runs things. Now GM and I just do not seem to have compatible styles, game-wise. It's not anybody's fault, we just do things differently. I knew this going into this game, and I was willing to just go along for the ride for the sake of the social fun hanging out has always been. I invited them to game at our house (insisted, is more like it) because GM's apartment is small and very crowded, and I knew gaming over there would mean long hours of people sitting on the floor. Add to this, that it costs Naamah a lot of mental energy to go out, and I knew it would be easier on her - and therefore both of us - if we did not create another night of the week when we *have* to go out.
Well, my experience with the game was not so good this time, mostly as a result of Otis and Rosie. Let me qualify that by saying that my character was a bit of a pain in the ass as well, and not all the blame can be assigned to one person here. I'm not really wanting to assign blame anyway. Otis, whom I have gamed with before, is an older guy with what used to be a gentle tendency to wisecrack and make bad puns. He's the kind of persona-deficient borderline-aspergers-type that gaming has always attracted, and I am accustomed to tuning out the annoying bits. This time my filters were inadequate, as Otis was set to 11, and often made it impossible for me to even follow the plot because GM could not even deliver exposition without being heckled literally line-by-line. This probably didn't bother GM so much, as he has known Otis faaar longer than I have and is well used to him. It was powerfully irritating, and probably resulted in my character being even more difficult than she would have been.
My problem with Rosie is more complex, as gaming with her was not really an ordeal - but I came to dislike her on a personal level more and more as time went on. She's just one of those people: always late, always with a tale of woe, always someone else's fault. She's not especially bright, but she's not a mean or unpleasant person - she's just a person whom I have nothing to say to. Plus she's a heavy smoker, and always comes in reeking like an ashtray. Early on she borrowed my Firefly set, and it took three days of washing to get the stink out. I privately decided to never lend her anything else, as she is about as reliable as a tornado.
Eventually I got tired of zero cooperation and my teammates yelling at me and I quit the game. Kind of in a huff, yeah, but it was a relief to get out of it, as I hadn't really been enjoying the game. Actually that's not fair: I had been so busy hating my teammates that I never really noticed whether or not I was enjoying the game. So for a while it has gone on. Naamah still plays, and they still play over here, and I just kind of avoid the whole thing. I don't really mind, though I do miss getting to hang out with GM, and I detest the cigarette smell that always lingers
So last week I was out the whole time they were here, over chatting with my father in law. I got back and they were gone, and a day or so later I notice that two of my Lord of the Rings DVDs are missing. Not just any of them, but my Special Editions. I ask Naamah where they are and she says she lent them to Rosie, and I got mad at her. Unfair of me, as she was not privy to my resolve to never lend stuff to Rosie again, but the thought of The Human Disaster with my treasured special editions gives me hives. I have no way to contact Rosie (another reason I'm not keen to loan her stuff) so I email GM and tell him that I would like somebody to tell her I want those back, like now, as I would not have approved their loan had I been here. I was also quite upfront with the fact that I neither like nor trust Rosie, because GM is no idiot and I am pretty sure he knows that already. Now he says he hasn't got her number either, so he will forward this on to Otis. Now I do not know if this means he just forwarded the exact email on, because if he did things may be about to blow up. I think Otis has a kind of a thing for Rosie - in fact I suspect that's the whole reason she was invited in the first place. Gods alone know where a smart guy like Otis even met a rather dim bulb like Rosie.
So I am kind of wishing the whole situation would just go away. I don't want to have to explain to Rosie in person that I don't like her at all. I don't want to have Otis mad at me because I don't like his girl crush. I don't really want Rosie in my house anymore. And more than anything I don't want Naamah and GM in the middle of this because they don't need the grief. I just want my stupid DVDs back and to not have to fight with people about who I do and do not want around.
GM, for the record, if this blows up, I am very sorry. I have been trying to be diplomatic about this for a long time.