I guess last post before New Year
Christmas was good. I got some good stuff, including a good amount of MJ stuff. My sister-in-law said this Christmas was for me like the one when she was young where she got a bunch of New Kids on The Block stuff...though I had that same Christmas. I got an MJ calandar, comic book, pop-out book, sweatshirt and a nearly 700 page book. Plus, a beautiful afghan my mom knitted for me, some gift cirtificates, Lady Gaga, and cooking stuff.
I saw 'Nine', which was good. A bit long, but Kate Hudson's musical number was ridiculously awesome, Hollywood decadence and spunk is always fun to watch. And Furgie's number was a-may-zing to watch. Though the makeup design of the move was crap the costume design was awesome. I saw 'The Blindside' which was good, uplifting in a good way. And 'Sherlock Holmes' was good, mainly because of RDJ and Jude Law without which it would have sucked.
What is kind of disconcerting about the 700 page MJ book written by J. Randy Teraborelli called "Michael Jackson: The Madness and the Magic" is that its doing a number on my point of view of him. Not that I don't still love the man, hail him as a genius performer and artist, but his personal life is, well, odd. I've always known he was odd. I mean I'd stopped looking at tabloids because it bothered me and only wanted focus on his music. His music of course I focused on were mainly 'Off The Wall', 'Thriller', 'Bad', and a bit of 'Dangerous', paying little attention of anything else, how can one ignore the genius of those albums. Though I won't admit to his consequential CDs as failures because the man knew a good beat and melody when he created it, even if his lyrics were lacking. But, he was a drama queen, and liked to sleep in the same bed as young boys. Ugh, I have no evidence and no one else does either that he did anything inappropriate with boys but come on why would anyone sleep in the same bed with young boys when they are not their father? And he bleached his skin, though without the vitaligo he wouldn't be as white as he was...But, why hate being so dark? Its a psychology I as a white person can never know, though as a pasty pale white girl I hate being so white and wish I were darker anyway. Whatever, my psychology is whack anyway. He did always keep his black background never losing his obvious love of James Brown, Jackie Wilson and Diana Ross. If one hated being black he'd surround himself him white people no? Or did he want the priviledge of being black without the apparent problem with being the color black in a white dominated world? He was black though, always felt it even if he wasn't the color. He also apparently was a dick as a husband other than being really fucking good in bed, and that's only half the problem. Not willing to open up to your wife is a problem, a really big ass problem. After being so rich and overly priviledged as a damn fine performer garnering millions of devoted fans as an 11 year old and not really losing his edge cementing it by the age of 24 with Motown 25, he'd gotten to the point where he could do anything he damn well pleased. He created a world around him that thrived on escapism so much that not even his own kids at such a young could pull him away from drugs. He's a tragic figure in which I don't think he could have figured out, he needed a real psychologist to talk to, but he felt better than that unfortunately. But, whatever I still love him.
And one thing that's fucking unforgivable in Michael Jackson is something that I do. When I'm done with someone or don't feel the need to do anything about I ignore them and pretend I never knew them. Its a shitty thing, and apparently I'm not the only one that does that. I can turn on a friend and never contact them. I think It's a product of not trusting anyone. When you trust no one, losing that person as a friend whether you did it or not, means nothing to you. It's cold but its a product of not trusting people. I trust no one but my mom and brother and though I trust my dad its hard, and he's my fucking dad man imagine what its like for normal people? I've tried to change this shitty thing I do, but I can't or maybe I don't want to. Its easy to see shit in the world and I live my life on hope, not trust. I love my friends, but unfortunately, I do not trust them. Trust is hard it takes a lot to gain it. I want to trust and many times I feel I do, but if that person disappoints me I feel its normal. When I read it in Taraborelli's book of MJ, reading it made me annoyed at MJ, but its like reading a heightened reality of myself...not a good thing. At least he had a reason to not trust in people, he was famous, all I have is a divorce of my parents when I was 4. Human beings can suck sometimes...though I'll be Anne Frank and believe that everyone is capable of good.
Plus, besides Obama being a good president he has abandoned the public option, which pissing me off. I always felt like Obama should have allowed a single-payer option to be on the table so that a public option would be light...but, boo.
Ring in another fucking failure of year why don't you, yee fucking haw.
I saw 'Nine', which was good. A bit long, but Kate Hudson's musical number was ridiculously awesome, Hollywood decadence and spunk is always fun to watch. And Furgie's number was a-may-zing to watch. Though the makeup design of the move was crap the costume design was awesome. I saw 'The Blindside' which was good, uplifting in a good way. And 'Sherlock Holmes' was good, mainly because of RDJ and Jude Law without which it would have sucked.
What is kind of disconcerting about the 700 page MJ book written by J. Randy Teraborelli called "Michael Jackson: The Madness and the Magic" is that its doing a number on my point of view of him. Not that I don't still love the man, hail him as a genius performer and artist, but his personal life is, well, odd. I've always known he was odd. I mean I'd stopped looking at tabloids because it bothered me and only wanted focus on his music. His music of course I focused on were mainly 'Off The Wall', 'Thriller', 'Bad', and a bit of 'Dangerous', paying little attention of anything else, how can one ignore the genius of those albums. Though I won't admit to his consequential CDs as failures because the man knew a good beat and melody when he created it, even if his lyrics were lacking. But, he was a drama queen, and liked to sleep in the same bed as young boys. Ugh, I have no evidence and no one else does either that he did anything inappropriate with boys but come on why would anyone sleep in the same bed with young boys when they are not their father? And he bleached his skin, though without the vitaligo he wouldn't be as white as he was...But, why hate being so dark? Its a psychology I as a white person can never know, though as a pasty pale white girl I hate being so white and wish I were darker anyway. Whatever, my psychology is whack anyway. He did always keep his black background never losing his obvious love of James Brown, Jackie Wilson and Diana Ross. If one hated being black he'd surround himself him white people no? Or did he want the priviledge of being black without the apparent problem with being the color black in a white dominated world? He was black though, always felt it even if he wasn't the color. He also apparently was a dick as a husband other than being really fucking good in bed, and that's only half the problem. Not willing to open up to your wife is a problem, a really big ass problem. After being so rich and overly priviledged as a damn fine performer garnering millions of devoted fans as an 11 year old and not really losing his edge cementing it by the age of 24 with Motown 25, he'd gotten to the point where he could do anything he damn well pleased. He created a world around him that thrived on escapism so much that not even his own kids at such a young could pull him away from drugs. He's a tragic figure in which I don't think he could have figured out, he needed a real psychologist to talk to, but he felt better than that unfortunately. But, whatever I still love him.
And one thing that's fucking unforgivable in Michael Jackson is something that I do. When I'm done with someone or don't feel the need to do anything about I ignore them and pretend I never knew them. Its a shitty thing, and apparently I'm not the only one that does that. I can turn on a friend and never contact them. I think It's a product of not trusting anyone. When you trust no one, losing that person as a friend whether you did it or not, means nothing to you. It's cold but its a product of not trusting people. I trust no one but my mom and brother and though I trust my dad its hard, and he's my fucking dad man imagine what its like for normal people? I've tried to change this shitty thing I do, but I can't or maybe I don't want to. Its easy to see shit in the world and I live my life on hope, not trust. I love my friends, but unfortunately, I do not trust them. Trust is hard it takes a lot to gain it. I want to trust and many times I feel I do, but if that person disappoints me I feel its normal. When I read it in Taraborelli's book of MJ, reading it made me annoyed at MJ, but its like reading a heightened reality of myself...not a good thing. At least he had a reason to not trust in people, he was famous, all I have is a divorce of my parents when I was 4. Human beings can suck sometimes...though I'll be Anne Frank and believe that everyone is capable of good.
Plus, besides Obama being a good president he has abandoned the public option, which pissing me off. I always felt like Obama should have allowed a single-payer option to be on the table so that a public option would be light...but, boo.
Ring in another fucking failure of year why don't you, yee fucking haw.