Change of plans
Fast post before I go keel over.
First, if any of you are expecting me to, oh, say, HAVE A LIFE for the next two years... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no.
ANYWAY...
Remember that big long plan I had discussing an ethnographic approach to four micronations online?
When I first broached the basic concept to my adviser, he loved it. When I then detailed out what I meant, he nearly had a heart attack. In his words, I was talking about doing TWO DOCTORAL thesis.
While working two jobs AND going to school full time.
Needless to say, he talked me out of it.
So... New plan!
I've gone back more or less to an old idea, questions about online identity.
One of the concepts that is explored in a number of social sciences, and which certainly has an impact on communication, is the concept of the Self. A number of theorists touching on communications fields posit all kinds of things. Some think that the self is a creation made up by the language we use, as we can't even realize we ourselves exist without using the language we know. Others feel that the self certainly exists as an unchanging, driving force, and language is a tool we use to express that. Still others see us as having a very mutateable self, that alters and adapts in every situation, and Language is the mask that helps to distort and alter us to the moment.
Yeah, a lot of theories about the self and how it interacts with communication.
Anyway, I had an epiphany moment, the other day involving the concept of self and computer mediated communication.
Allow me to give a little more background than I really should, as overly curious types might try using it to track me down, and I'd prefer that not happen given a number of factors.
When first I decided to examine Second Life as a possible research platform on the advise of a colleague, (Hee! I'm talking like a professional researcher now! Colleague! Er... Don't mind me, Master's Students don't get much sleep, apparently...) it was recommended to me by said colleague that I further my exploration of my previous research... faking sex (gender, not intercourse thankyouverymuch!) online. I was encouraged to enter SL with a female avatar, so that rather than observing faking second hand, I could experience it from the high heeled shoes of a presenter.
So I did. It's been fascinating.
And now to the epiphany.
I had noticed that there were times where, when in SL emoting all over the place and flouncing about in very full dresses, sometimes I would find myself thinking as the girl I was presenting myself to be. I wasn't role-playing. Role-playing can be a blast, and I've loved my characters, but I was always a step removed from them. Here, the lines were blurring, and I was not asking "would my avatar find that pretty?" I was asking "do *I* find that pretty?" The sense of self was adapting to the setting and situation. Of course, once I logged off, things snapped back to normal and I went back to scratching myself in public and truncating my sentences.
And then a couple stepped on the bus while I was on the way to work. The gentleman sat in a seat near mine. The lady sat next to him. Then she twisted in the seat, and lay back, so that she was laying against him. His arms wrapped around her, she snuggled in...
And I found myself thinking two things at the same time. Literally two things at once, which I don't do.
Geeze... Why in the world does she look so happy? She looks like a possession, like she is eager to belong to him, and has no real sense of worth if she isn't being owned by him! Ugh.That is so romantic! How I envy her. I wish there was someone who loved me possessively like that, and really valued me!
The thought on the left was mine, a well honed bit of classic Sareth paranoia and independence that doesn't like anyone thinking they need the approval of anyone else. Particular if that person happens to be Sareth himself.
The thought on the left...
My SL character had to to stick her nose into things. I even heard the thought in her "voice."
As you can see, those are VERY different perspectives on the situation. It was rather a shock and a surprise. But it also was a moment that really gave me something to think about, and within ten minutes I was desperately eager to dive into research.
You see, that moment caused me to think. Some of the theories posit that our sense of self alters and changes in accordance with situation. It's not that we are always the same person, we just change our behavior based on who we are around or the situation we are in, it's that even our own perception of who we are changes and adapts. The fundamental core shifts around to meet the situation. And I, having immersed myself fairly deeply in SL and in seeing if I could fake being a girl, had done so well that in moment where my sense of self was not having to actively interact with the world, two senses of self both popped up to express an idle opinion.
Now, we can chalk that up to a lack of sleep, or my brain obsessing over various ways person-hood manifests, or training my brain to try to think in "girl" paying off, or to Sareth needing to get his head examined. But it DID wake me to a very, VERY interesting (to me, at least) concept.
If phenomenological thought about the self is correct, and the self changes and alters to fit the situation, then people within SL who present characters that are different from their physical selves will find that their very sense of self changes to match the avatar. Further, if sociocultural thinkers are correct, and the self is a construct of the society and culture they are in, then those changes of self caused by the different presence being placed in SL will alter in ways beyond the control of the individual sitting at the keyboard.
In short... Avatars can develop a limited but still real sense of self separate from their creators.
And so, my Master's Thesis, a much more limited paper (thankfully... It's only the first week of class and I'm already stressed out) will involve using qualitative survey techniques to investigate if this is true (by comparing people's descriptions of their avatar's thoughts, actions, and values with those of the creators behind them.)
Exciting, isn't it?
First, if any of you are expecting me to, oh, say, HAVE A LIFE for the next two years... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no.
ANYWAY...
Remember that big long plan I had discussing an ethnographic approach to four micronations online?
When I first broached the basic concept to my adviser, he loved it. When I then detailed out what I meant, he nearly had a heart attack. In his words, I was talking about doing TWO DOCTORAL thesis.
While working two jobs AND going to school full time.
Needless to say, he talked me out of it.
So... New plan!
I've gone back more or less to an old idea, questions about online identity.
One of the concepts that is explored in a number of social sciences, and which certainly has an impact on communication, is the concept of the Self. A number of theorists touching on communications fields posit all kinds of things. Some think that the self is a creation made up by the language we use, as we can't even realize we ourselves exist without using the language we know. Others feel that the self certainly exists as an unchanging, driving force, and language is a tool we use to express that. Still others see us as having a very mutateable self, that alters and adapts in every situation, and Language is the mask that helps to distort and alter us to the moment.
Yeah, a lot of theories about the self and how it interacts with communication.
Anyway, I had an epiphany moment, the other day involving the concept of self and computer mediated communication.
Allow me to give a little more background than I really should, as overly curious types might try using it to track me down, and I'd prefer that not happen given a number of factors.
When first I decided to examine Second Life as a possible research platform on the advise of a colleague, (Hee! I'm talking like a professional researcher now! Colleague! Er... Don't mind me, Master's Students don't get much sleep, apparently...) it was recommended to me by said colleague that I further my exploration of my previous research... faking sex (gender, not intercourse thankyouverymuch!) online. I was encouraged to enter SL with a female avatar, so that rather than observing faking second hand, I could experience it from the high heeled shoes of a presenter.
So I did. It's been fascinating.
And now to the epiphany.
I had noticed that there were times where, when in SL emoting all over the place and flouncing about in very full dresses, sometimes I would find myself thinking as the girl I was presenting myself to be. I wasn't role-playing. Role-playing can be a blast, and I've loved my characters, but I was always a step removed from them. Here, the lines were blurring, and I was not asking "would my avatar find that pretty?" I was asking "do *I* find that pretty?" The sense of self was adapting to the setting and situation. Of course, once I logged off, things snapped back to normal and I went back to scratching myself in public and truncating my sentences.
And then a couple stepped on the bus while I was on the way to work. The gentleman sat in a seat near mine. The lady sat next to him. Then she twisted in the seat, and lay back, so that she was laying against him. His arms wrapped around her, she snuggled in...
And I found myself thinking two things at the same time. Literally two things at once, which I don't do.
Geeze... Why in the world does she look so happy? She looks like a possession, like she is eager to belong to him, and has no real sense of worth if she isn't being owned by him! Ugh.That is so romantic! How I envy her. I wish there was someone who loved me possessively like that, and really valued me!
The thought on the left was mine, a well honed bit of classic Sareth paranoia and independence that doesn't like anyone thinking they need the approval of anyone else. Particular if that person happens to be Sareth himself.
The thought on the left...
My SL character had to to stick her nose into things. I even heard the thought in her "voice."
As you can see, those are VERY different perspectives on the situation. It was rather a shock and a surprise. But it also was a moment that really gave me something to think about, and within ten minutes I was desperately eager to dive into research.
You see, that moment caused me to think. Some of the theories posit that our sense of self alters and changes in accordance with situation. It's not that we are always the same person, we just change our behavior based on who we are around or the situation we are in, it's that even our own perception of who we are changes and adapts. The fundamental core shifts around to meet the situation. And I, having immersed myself fairly deeply in SL and in seeing if I could fake being a girl, had done so well that in moment where my sense of self was not having to actively interact with the world, two senses of self both popped up to express an idle opinion.
Now, we can chalk that up to a lack of sleep, or my brain obsessing over various ways person-hood manifests, or training my brain to try to think in "girl" paying off, or to Sareth needing to get his head examined. But it DID wake me to a very, VERY interesting (to me, at least) concept.
If phenomenological thought about the self is correct, and the self changes and alters to fit the situation, then people within SL who present characters that are different from their physical selves will find that their very sense of self changes to match the avatar. Further, if sociocultural thinkers are correct, and the self is a construct of the society and culture they are in, then those changes of self caused by the different presence being placed in SL will alter in ways beyond the control of the individual sitting at the keyboard.
In short... Avatars can develop a limited but still real sense of self separate from their creators.
And so, my Master's Thesis, a much more limited paper (thankfully... It's only the first week of class and I'm already stressed out) will involve using qualitative survey techniques to investigate if this is true (by comparing people's descriptions of their avatar's thoughts, actions, and values with those of the creators behind them.)
Exciting, isn't it?