In Nomine -My Exploration of Yahweh, Christ and the Holy Spirit
In Nomine
My Exploration of Yahweh, Christ and the Holy Spirit
I have explored myself and my relationship with the Christian Triple-God known as Yahweh, His Son Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit since I was born. I grew up in a Catholic household, was taught the Sign of the Cross, the Our Father, The Hail Mary, the Stations of the Cross and many deep aspects of the Catholic Mysteries of Faith. “Christ has died, Christ has risen, Christ will come again.” How true, even for a person who turned away from the path of Catholicism, and Christianity as a whole.
However, I am more in touch with, understanding of and existing with Christ now, than I was as a Catholic. Many of whom I say this to do not understand, regard my words with fear and revulsion or, understandably, confusion. “How can you, a Pagan, possibly have a more deep and meaningful relationship with Jesus Christ? You don’t worship Him!” That, I think, is the point. To be a Christian is to be a follower of Christ, to walk His footsteps (in the spirit in which He did) and to emulate, not idolize, him.
I stopped being a practicing Catholic in the October of 2004. I had researched Wicca and Paganism with interest in high school for the four earlier years. At the time, since I lived in a Catholic household and had a tight schedule of school and after-school activities, I had no opportunity to pursue my understanding or exploration of it. I knew what little websites could tell me in little half-hour or so bursts when I could get into the library for non-homework or activity-related reasons. I went to college, moved into a dorm, and swiftly found a group of people whom were interested in the exploration of Wicca.
I remember reading Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner, and its opening of my mind, like movies and books before it, to the world of possibilities around me. I leapt into the Wiccan faith with fervor, which eventually materialized into a general eclectic Pagan faith guided by many of Wicca’s principles. I wanted every piece of knowledge I could get a hold of on the subjects of the occult, Paganism, and the like. This fervor continues, I do not want to stop learning, but it has eventually lead me back to Christ in most interesting ways, whether I wished it or no, for someone in some book I have been drawn to has had something to say about the Divine figure. Some would say this is a calling back to my old faith, but I see it as perhaps an augmentation or continuation of my developing faith and spiritual life.
In Christ I can see the God as much as I can see the God in Lughnasadh, Osiris, Baldur, or any number of Sacrificed Kings or Sacrificed Gods. Through Christ’s eyes comes a unique perspective, as assuredly unique as His Sacrifice is through the eyes of Osiris or Lughnasadh. In my studies of the occult and inner transformation, Christ and the others’ whom went His way before Him each to their own cultures, has come again and again to my attention. Perhaps it is that I wish to help others with my gifts/talents/power/etc. that I gain from my studies? Perhaps I am among few who believes this world is worth saving and would do so? I do not know. These thoughts are not here to indulge in delusions of grandeur, only wondering.
When Christ came back into my life, it was very sudden, and very painful for me, both for the time in my life and in the experience of it.
I was in a guided meditation, and I was guided into a desert before a Temple. I was perfumed by attendants awaiting me on either side of a door leading into a Temple in Egypt, perhaps the Necropolis. I entered to the Temple, bowed low to Anubis whom was at the other end of Temple, seated. He rose with a Kris-bladed ceremonial knife in His right hand, an Ankh in the other. He approached me, asked for my left hand palm up and gashed both his and mine own left hand. After clasping and feeling the raw power of the Egyptian God pound through me, He smiled, and said there was more for me to do. He pointed me toward the door to the Temple, and after the attendants again perfumed me I was thrown into another place, from hot sands to a cold mountaintop.
I looked on and there was Odin, the All-Father, awaiting me. He asked me if I would accept the gift He was to give me, though I would have to suffer for it. I agreed and with no more words, chains bound me suddenly to the mountainside and he plucked out my left eye, took a clump of his flesh and placed it in where my eye had been, a wolf’s eye, gold colored, now there. Odin then asked Thor, whom I had not seen till then to step forward. Then, with a war cry that made me physically shake (I was told later) Thor sealed shut my wound with His Hammer, Mjollnir and I felt my face sear with lighting as He made my face whole. As I fell to the cold mountain snow, the chains no longer about me, Odin looked into my eyes and said I had one more to visit on this trip.
I could feel the hot sands beneath my feet. I had been in prison all night, and at last could see the sun. I saw it for a long while as the Roman soldiers beat me. I did not realize it at the time, but I was in the place of Christ. I won’t relay the story here, since most know it or can find it very easily. Suffice it to say, it was the most painful and harsh of the three and I could hear Christ weep as I suffered as He did. When it finally ended in my death on the Cross, I returned to my body.
From these lessons, I have learned much and am still learning.
Part 2 to come.
My Exploration of Yahweh, Christ and the Holy Spirit
I have explored myself and my relationship with the Christian Triple-God known as Yahweh, His Son Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit since I was born. I grew up in a Catholic household, was taught the Sign of the Cross, the Our Father, The Hail Mary, the Stations of the Cross and many deep aspects of the Catholic Mysteries of Faith. “Christ has died, Christ has risen, Christ will come again.” How true, even for a person who turned away from the path of Catholicism, and Christianity as a whole.
However, I am more in touch with, understanding of and existing with Christ now, than I was as a Catholic. Many of whom I say this to do not understand, regard my words with fear and revulsion or, understandably, confusion. “How can you, a Pagan, possibly have a more deep and meaningful relationship with Jesus Christ? You don’t worship Him!” That, I think, is the point. To be a Christian is to be a follower of Christ, to walk His footsteps (in the spirit in which He did) and to emulate, not idolize, him.
I stopped being a practicing Catholic in the October of 2004. I had researched Wicca and Paganism with interest in high school for the four earlier years. At the time, since I lived in a Catholic household and had a tight schedule of school and after-school activities, I had no opportunity to pursue my understanding or exploration of it. I knew what little websites could tell me in little half-hour or so bursts when I could get into the library for non-homework or activity-related reasons. I went to college, moved into a dorm, and swiftly found a group of people whom were interested in the exploration of Wicca.
I remember reading Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner, and its opening of my mind, like movies and books before it, to the world of possibilities around me. I leapt into the Wiccan faith with fervor, which eventually materialized into a general eclectic Pagan faith guided by many of Wicca’s principles. I wanted every piece of knowledge I could get a hold of on the subjects of the occult, Paganism, and the like. This fervor continues, I do not want to stop learning, but it has eventually lead me back to Christ in most interesting ways, whether I wished it or no, for someone in some book I have been drawn to has had something to say about the Divine figure. Some would say this is a calling back to my old faith, but I see it as perhaps an augmentation or continuation of my developing faith and spiritual life.
In Christ I can see the God as much as I can see the God in Lughnasadh, Osiris, Baldur, or any number of Sacrificed Kings or Sacrificed Gods. Through Christ’s eyes comes a unique perspective, as assuredly unique as His Sacrifice is through the eyes of Osiris or Lughnasadh. In my studies of the occult and inner transformation, Christ and the others’ whom went His way before Him each to their own cultures, has come again and again to my attention. Perhaps it is that I wish to help others with my gifts/talents/power/etc. that I gain from my studies? Perhaps I am among few who believes this world is worth saving and would do so? I do not know. These thoughts are not here to indulge in delusions of grandeur, only wondering.
When Christ came back into my life, it was very sudden, and very painful for me, both for the time in my life and in the experience of it.
I was in a guided meditation, and I was guided into a desert before a Temple. I was perfumed by attendants awaiting me on either side of a door leading into a Temple in Egypt, perhaps the Necropolis. I entered to the Temple, bowed low to Anubis whom was at the other end of Temple, seated. He rose with a Kris-bladed ceremonial knife in His right hand, an Ankh in the other. He approached me, asked for my left hand palm up and gashed both his and mine own left hand. After clasping and feeling the raw power of the Egyptian God pound through me, He smiled, and said there was more for me to do. He pointed me toward the door to the Temple, and after the attendants again perfumed me I was thrown into another place, from hot sands to a cold mountaintop.
I looked on and there was Odin, the All-Father, awaiting me. He asked me if I would accept the gift He was to give me, though I would have to suffer for it. I agreed and with no more words, chains bound me suddenly to the mountainside and he plucked out my left eye, took a clump of his flesh and placed it in where my eye had been, a wolf’s eye, gold colored, now there. Odin then asked Thor, whom I had not seen till then to step forward. Then, with a war cry that made me physically shake (I was told later) Thor sealed shut my wound with His Hammer, Mjollnir and I felt my face sear with lighting as He made my face whole. As I fell to the cold mountain snow, the chains no longer about me, Odin looked into my eyes and said I had one more to visit on this trip.
I could feel the hot sands beneath my feet. I had been in prison all night, and at last could see the sun. I saw it for a long while as the Roman soldiers beat me. I did not realize it at the time, but I was in the place of Christ. I won’t relay the story here, since most know it or can find it very easily. Suffice it to say, it was the most painful and harsh of the three and I could hear Christ weep as I suffered as He did. When it finally ended in my death on the Cross, I returned to my body.
From these lessons, I have learned much and am still learning.
Part 2 to come.