(no subject)
"Born" by Over the Rhine
I was born to laugh
I learned to laugh through my tears
I was born to love
I'm gonna learn to love without fear
Pour me a glass of wine
Talk deep into the night
Who knows what we'll find
Intuition, deja vu
The Holy Ghost haunting you
Whatever you got
I don't mind
Put your elbows on the table
I'll listen long as I am able
There's nowhere I'd rather be
Secret fears, the supernatural
Thank God for this new laughter
Thank God the joke's on me
We've seen the landfill rainbow
We've seen the junkyard of love
Baby it's no place for you and me
I was born to laugh
I learned to laugh through my tears
I was born to love
I'm gonna learn to love without fear
--
I feel weird today. I don't know why. I should be studying for my Lit exam tonight.... but I just don't care.
I'm in a really apathetic mood right now. I don't know what the deal is. I got pissy last night with (now)Bryan, and I don't really know why, either. Things were playful, but then it was like I was just tired of being playful. It wasn't his fault. I'm just weird, I guess. I think what it is is that I don't like to have to work for things... which isn't how I mean it. Hmm. I think what it is is that I don't like feeling rejected, even in a playful sense. If someone plays too hard-to-get, I lose interest, or I feel unsure or unwilling to venture. I don't know. Fucks with my mind, I guess. That little part called low self esteem, which I rarely ever develop or experience, but when I do, it's pretty strong. I'm just in a blah mood. -_- I'm not going to be fun for anyone today, I know. Maybe band will help, though I doubt it. I'm going to have to yell some today, I can tell already. It's going to be cold, and people aren't going to want to listen but instead just sit there and shiver. Blah. It's really hard to march a spot you never set yourself and in turn tell other people when they're mistaken. Hell, we can't even decide what size step is the correctly sized step. As long as I've been in marching band at MTSU, it has been 10 steps to the bottoms of the numbers. Uhm. Whatever, I guess. I know I'm not the best marcher... If I could concentrate on marching my own spot, not worrying about the dent 5 spots from me, worrying if I should take this part up an octave, or wondering if I remembered to take payroll to the office.... *sigh*
I'm looking forward to a possible getaway to Gatlinburg in a few weeks. I've got to budget out my money and see how much I can afford to spend there. It'll be my first (mini) vacation where I'm in charge of things like hotels, etc... and I'm just a little more than worried. I should start planning that now. I need the break. Hell. I need a longer break. Hopefully winter break will do me some good. I need to get my shit in gear. Like seriously. Katie is talking about graduation, etc... and I'm sitting here debating on changing my major. If I do, it'll put me back a year or two, with my luck; though, I was looking at my hours and all, and after this semester I should be done with all but one class each for my two minors: English and German. So, after next semester, I'll be completely free of my minor workloads. That'll be nice. Then I guess I can delve into photography? I think I'll look into signing up for B&W Photography, nonetheless, for next semester. *sigh* So much to do. I don't even know where to begin. I want to just quit. I swear. But I won't because that's how I am.
Have I mentioned how much I like the weather today? No? I love the weather! Yesterday was nice, too. I should move to England or Oregon or Washington. I love the cold wet drizzle. Mmmm... I need to find my car keys so I can get my Sully-skin jacket out of my backseat.... It's a blue fuzzy-furred coat. It's awesome. I'd like to wear it to band. It has pockets. Pockets are nice for coordinate sheets.
Brr. Biiiird. (inside joooke)
Okay. I think that's it.
I was born to laugh
I learned to laugh through my tears
I was born to love
I'm gonna learn to love without fear
Pour me a glass of wine
Talk deep into the night
Who knows what we'll find
Intuition, deja vu
The Holy Ghost haunting you
Whatever you got
I don't mind
Put your elbows on the table
I'll listen long as I am able
There's nowhere I'd rather be
Secret fears, the supernatural
Thank God for this new laughter
Thank God the joke's on me
We've seen the landfill rainbow
We've seen the junkyard of love
Baby it's no place for you and me
I was born to laugh
I learned to laugh through my tears
I was born to love
I'm gonna learn to love without fear
--
I feel weird today. I don't know why. I should be studying for my Lit exam tonight.... but I just don't care.
I'm in a really apathetic mood right now. I don't know what the deal is. I got pissy last night with (now)Bryan, and I don't really know why, either. Things were playful, but then it was like I was just tired of being playful. It wasn't his fault. I'm just weird, I guess. I think what it is is that I don't like to have to work for things... which isn't how I mean it. Hmm. I think what it is is that I don't like feeling rejected, even in a playful sense. If someone plays too hard-to-get, I lose interest, or I feel unsure or unwilling to venture. I don't know. Fucks with my mind, I guess. That little part called low self esteem, which I rarely ever develop or experience, but when I do, it's pretty strong. I'm just in a blah mood. -_- I'm not going to be fun for anyone today, I know. Maybe band will help, though I doubt it. I'm going to have to yell some today, I can tell already. It's going to be cold, and people aren't going to want to listen but instead just sit there and shiver. Blah. It's really hard to march a spot you never set yourself and in turn tell other people when they're mistaken. Hell, we can't even decide what size step is the correctly sized step. As long as I've been in marching band at MTSU, it has been 10 steps to the bottoms of the numbers. Uhm. Whatever, I guess. I know I'm not the best marcher... If I could concentrate on marching my own spot, not worrying about the dent 5 spots from me, worrying if I should take this part up an octave, or wondering if I remembered to take payroll to the office.... *sigh*
I'm looking forward to a possible getaway to Gatlinburg in a few weeks. I've got to budget out my money and see how much I can afford to spend there. It'll be my first (mini) vacation where I'm in charge of things like hotels, etc... and I'm just a little more than worried. I should start planning that now. I need the break. Hell. I need a longer break. Hopefully winter break will do me some good. I need to get my shit in gear. Like seriously. Katie is talking about graduation, etc... and I'm sitting here debating on changing my major. If I do, it'll put me back a year or two, with my luck; though, I was looking at my hours and all, and after this semester I should be done with all but one class each for my two minors: English and German. So, after next semester, I'll be completely free of my minor workloads. That'll be nice. Then I guess I can delve into photography? I think I'll look into signing up for B&W Photography, nonetheless, for next semester. *sigh* So much to do. I don't even know where to begin. I want to just quit. I swear. But I won't because that's how I am.
Have I mentioned how much I like the weather today? No? I love the weather! Yesterday was nice, too. I should move to England or Oregon or Washington. I love the cold wet drizzle. Mmmm... I need to find my car keys so I can get my Sully-skin jacket out of my backseat.... It's a blue fuzzy-furred coat. It's awesome. I'd like to wear it to band. It has pockets. Pockets are nice for coordinate sheets.
Brr. Biiiird. (inside joooke)
Okay. I think that's it.