And In The Drunk Tank
Title: And In The Drunk Tank (S/A)
Author:sarcasticweathe
Rating: Um.. Pg-15
Pairings: Mainly Ryden (with Gabilliam, Peterick, Joncer, Nalex, Joe/Andy, Sisky/Butcher, VickyT/Ryland) Well it is christmas :)
Warnings: Hints of drunkeness and abuse, casual use of (recreational) drugs
POV: 1st Ryan
Summary: Ryan never had a real Christmas, he always envied those on the TV. Brendon doesn't like this fact.
Disclaimer: Where to begin.. this doesn't take into account their girlfriends/wives or well.. reality :P
Author's Note: Because Christmas needs some sad!Ryan childhood :) The title's from Fairytale of New York.
Christmas.. What comes to mind when I say that one word? Family? Presents? Happiness??
When I thought of Christmas I always thought of my childhood, hiding in my room on the one day it's acceptable for my father to drink himself senseless, repeating all the reasons I shouldn't call Spencer, like a mantra, 'It's a day he should spend with his family'.
I could never watch TV at Christmas, not just 'cause my father was downstairs, and I avoid that man like the plauge, drunk or otherwise, but because it only shows happy families laughing and unwrapping presents. No beatings, no drunk fathers, no crying sons, no missing mothers. Just happy, conventional, fake, unrealistic, perfect families.
And god do I envy them.
Every year Spencer and his family would try to convince me to go 'round to theirs for Christmas even Brendon tried, not that he knew why, he didn't know for so long, but I had to say no, especially to Brendon, his family saw the day as a family holiday and family's so important to them, I couldn't intrude.
After those Christmases I didn't think I could ever celebrate a proper Christmas, I never thought I'd get the chance.
"All I want for Christmas is yoooooooooooooooo baby" He sang pointing at me "Ryaaaaaaaaaaan! I'm trying to serenade you, the least you could do is pay attention"
"What?" I ask sleepily. I was trying to sleep, but obviously Brendon has something against that.
"Wow, you really haven't got the Christmas spirit in you have you? Hmm well I'll soon sort that out!"
I look to Spencer helplessly, but he just smiles and shrugs, traitor!
"Brendon, I don't celebrate or care about Christmas"
"Sacrilege, Ryan Ross, sacrilege!"
"Oh don't blame Ryan, he never had a proper Christmas as a child" Spencer, my saviour I take back every cruel word I've said, sighs before getting up to find somewhere without childish bickering. Or to smoke weed with Jon, you never can tell with Spencer.
"You never..?"
"No and honestly I don't care, it's just a day, I mean how great can it really be"
"Never..?"
If there's one thing I've learnt from years of putting up with Brendon, it's that as annoying as he is when he's talking non-stop, it's even more dangerous when he's not.
-----
I wake up with the feeling someone's watching me. This always happens, even when it's only Hobo, a throw back to my childhood if you will.
"Hobo.." I say flinging my arm about in the hope it'll send her away and give me a few more minutes peace.
"..Woof" A human woofs.
Oh Christ it's Brendon!
"Brendon? What are you.. Wait how did you get in? I definitely took that key away from you after you decided to put candles all around my appartment, and nearly burnt the place down!"
"Oh that was ages.."
"That was yesterday!"
"Yeah well..."
Maybe this is one of those dreams I have where.. oh wait no he's talking, it's real.
"..And maybe if you didn't flail around so much and just enjoyed my kind gift I gave you, which took me three hours to do, then.."
"Brendon, why are you here?" I interrupt him 'cause, lets face it, someone has to.
"Oh yeah! Hey Ry d'ya know what day it is today?"
I freeze. Shit it's his birthday isn't it? No wait that's in April, also he doesn't stop talking about it for months ahead.. My birthday? No it's Decem-- oh shit
"Merry Christmas!"
"Oi can we come in now or are you two fucking?" Ah well Pete's here it can't be all bad.. Wait what?
-----
"Hey Ryan how are you enjoying your surprise mandatory Christmas?" Patrick asks, offering me a snowball. What it's just gone 12 we're not gonna start drinking heavily yet, well I'm not going to at all.
"Wait you were in on it too!?"
"Yeah sorry, as soon as I heard Brendon got Pete involved I knew there was no hope for you, it's damage control more than anything. Plus, hey it's Christmas and that's what friends are for"
"What forcing other friends into crappy holidays?" I ask jokingly, you can't stay mad at Patrick for long, he's just too.. Patrick-y.
"We do it with your best interests in heart" he replies "Oh god Pete's found the mistletoe, I knew I should have hid it on the roof, bye"
And there he goes, on his one man mission to control Pete. Only Patrick.
"Hey Mr. Wallflower wanna dance?"
Ah party tradition, getting hit on by a drunken Bill, I don't know how that kid gets so drunk.
"Bill, Bilvy! Hey, you promised me your first dance" Gabe runs over yelling.
Okay, scratch that, I know exactly who gets Bill so drunk.
"Hey Ryro how are you enjoying your party?"
"You're in on it too! Is this just a conspiracy against me or what?"
"In on..? Oh no I just got a text saying 'Party at Ryro's bring present and Cobras' which I at first thought meant the snakes, which would have been awesome.."
Alright I need to find the main culprit, Brendon. Strange this is a party and yet he's nowhere to be seen.
"Hey Gabe have you seen Brendon?"
"Um.. no not for a while, but I know someone who's looking for you by the tree."
"Someone's looking.." I spot him chilling by the tree in a failed attempt to look smooth. "SPENCER!"
I run towards him in a dignified manner, not at all like a little child like Jon so often compares me to.
"Hey Ry! Merry Christm--"
"Why aren't you with your family?"
"Rude" He mutters "I chose them over you too many times"
"As cute as this moment is.."
"Jon!" I yell hugging him "What are you doing in Vegas?"
"Same thing everyone else is, for you" He smiles "..also I've possibly been stalking Spencer" He adds quieter with something in his eyes, honesty.
"Aw well as cute as this moment is" I parrot "I need to find Brendon and either slap him or thank him.. or both"
Now if I was Brendon.. I'm not sure if I even want to imagine that, well I 'spose I'd have a way better voice, a happier childhood, just a happier perspective, an ass to die for.. totally off topic. Hey since when was my bedroom door open?
----
There he sat cross-legged on my bed. There's something so perfect and serene about this moment, I really don't want to break--
"RYAN!"
Nevermind..
"Hey Bren, it's good party you've got"
"Are you enjoying it?"
So many people have asked me that and so many times I've evaded their question.
"'Cause if you're not I can kick them out, they won't mind we have a plan B"
Only Brendon.
"No I like it"
"It's not really a proper Christmas though is it? That's what I tried to make and it's failed.."
Alex yelling at everyone to get the fuck out of 'his' kitchen, except Nate, who's probably the worst chef I've ever seen.
Gabe and Bill drunkenly, I don't even know where they got the alcohol from, probably the Cobra, singing 'Fairytale of New York' and ignoring the yells that we're in Las Vegas.
Pete chasing anyone with two legs and a penis with the mistletoe, possibly 'cause VickyT punched him last time he tried that and Sierra looks like she could fuck him up with a plastic spoon, before Patrick surrenders himself 'for the good of all men.. and Pete isn't too bad a kisser'.
Ryland, and Guy, yelling out all the couples that need to get together before admitting he likes VickyT.
Sisky finally giving in to Butcher's demands and giving him a Christmas kiss, I'm not sure what he's getting from it but he seemed to be blushing alot.
Andy foolishly taking Joe on in a guitar hero tournament. I don't know who in their right mind would think it's a good idea to compete against a guitarist. And Joe proving it's possible to do 'Trohmania' and still get 5 stars.
Spencer and Jon being.. well Spencer and Jon, slowing edging closer and closer until one of them picks up the courage to tell the other how they feel. Or maybe they'll do it together, God knows if anyone was to have a romcom cliche moment it'd be Jon and Spencer.
"We're a disfunctional, fucked up, incestious, druggy family, this is the furthest you could get from a perfect happy TV Christmas. And it's perfect!"
"But.."
"One where we're all smiling and laughing and not arguing and getting along and are sober and clean.. that's not us, and the last thing I want is my first proper christmas to be fake."
"So you.."
"I love it Brendon it's everything I've never dreamed of"
"So you don't want any cliches then?"
"Um..?"
"Just give in to one" He says smiling and pulling some mistletoe from God knows where.
"So Merry Christmas, I love you baby, Can't make it all alone, I built my dreams around you"
-----
An early Christmas present off me. Merry Christmas everyone!