code 46
i want to say something smart or witty, but i think all the good ideas have left my head. all i know is that i don't know what to think and this isn't normal. i don't know anyone else that has a friendship/relationship like this with anyone else and i don't have this sort of deal with anyone else either.
I don't know if you do, but I can only imagine not. I really shouldn't have even brought up anything about any more possibilities knowing that there was even more to it than just you leaving in May. It's just that those thoughts would have probably always been there until you left, whether I made them apparent to you would be the only difference in the whole situation.
In all of this, it has made me ponder something else, maybe partially on/off the topic, but what if you were able to see the future or know the consequences of any of your actions before they actually occurred? Like for instance, what if when you first met a soon-to-be-fucked-up-ex-boyfriend-for-a-good-reason, you'd see the whole playout of what would happen between you two just in a fastforward feature that would show the whole bitter break up and the spitting on and all that? Do you think it would influence you in not trying to pursue that action, just to save yourself of the hurt or pain or waste of time? Or at the time since you're still very interested or intrigued by that person, would you just throw out all the cares and say "oh well I know he is going to cheat on me and steal my money and then spit on me but I saw it all and I know what I am up for and I will just let it happen"? DO you think this would prevent most people from making those mistakes and causing more trouble in their lives? Would it make the world safer that we could see we were going to get into a bad wreck if we left at that precise time? Would we all just turn down all the experiences of failed relationships and just wait for the one that DOES work and lasts? If we didn't have those experiences wouldn't that leave us without the future baggage that leads us in and out through the weaving relationships until we meet the one? Would any of our relationships beyond the first one even be the same since we would be different in the resolution in each one? Which is wiser to choose? To have it easy and just ride the life or actually take the pain and troubles too, where you can learn more from your trials and become stronger or something like that, if that even makes a difference? I think I've really gone overboard tonight, I'm getting into places where I can't even think out of anymore. But anyway, I just thought I would talk a bit while you virtually listen. We'll have to talk again soon.
I don't know if you do, but I can only imagine not. I really shouldn't have even brought up anything about any more possibilities knowing that there was even more to it than just you leaving in May. It's just that those thoughts would have probably always been there until you left, whether I made them apparent to you would be the only difference in the whole situation.
In all of this, it has made me ponder something else, maybe partially on/off the topic, but what if you were able to see the future or know the consequences of any of your actions before they actually occurred? Like for instance, what if when you first met a soon-to-be-fucked-up-ex-boyfriend-for-a-good-reason, you'd see the whole playout of what would happen between you two just in a fastforward feature that would show the whole bitter break up and the spitting on and all that? Do you think it would influence you in not trying to pursue that action, just to save yourself of the hurt or pain or waste of time? Or at the time since you're still very interested or intrigued by that person, would you just throw out all the cares and say "oh well I know he is going to cheat on me and steal my money and then spit on me but I saw it all and I know what I am up for and I will just let it happen"? DO you think this would prevent most people from making those mistakes and causing more trouble in their lives? Would it make the world safer that we could see we were going to get into a bad wreck if we left at that precise time? Would we all just turn down all the experiences of failed relationships and just wait for the one that DOES work and lasts? If we didn't have those experiences wouldn't that leave us without the future baggage that leads us in and out through the weaving relationships until we meet the one? Would any of our relationships beyond the first one even be the same since we would be different in the resolution in each one? Which is wiser to choose? To have it easy and just ride the life or actually take the pain and troubles too, where you can learn more from your trials and become stronger or something like that, if that even makes a difference? I think I've really gone overboard tonight, I'm getting into places where I can't even think out of anymore. But anyway, I just thought I would talk a bit while you virtually listen. We'll have to talk again soon.