pshmurfgahfhwgads
ugh.
Sometimes I can't remember what really matters.
I question where I am, who I surround myself with, what I am doing.
School is wonderful but at the same time I feel I need something more.
It's all in my head, I suppose.
Frustration leads to creation, right?
I suppose all the work I have is weighing me down.
Is it wrong preppy kids can annoy me? Why am I so nice to them? Should I not be? I should be, no, they're just like anybody else....
I'm aching and whiny and lame. I can't tell if it's : I feel lame, I am lame, or both.
I suppose my highs are balanced with equally low nadirs in spirit. Whatever.
What matters?
Is the depression coming back? Do I need to exercise every day to keep it in check? Shouldn't the medicine be working; I'm taking more?
Does school really matter or is it just a bunch of bullshit like everything else.
Sometimes I'd like to learn things on my own and teach myself and get help when I need it.
I hate that college is so goddamn necessary these days.
I can't give up; I would be failing too many people.
The pressure just kills me.
On a more jovial note, I got to see Phil when Nick and I were on the way to his house; Phil happened to be on the phone with none other than Kaci, so I got two in one.
Don't worry about me, anybody, not that you would or should. I'm going to sleep, crying and sleep make everything better, it is so amazing. I like waking up with a fresh slate everyday.
Goodnight
Sometimes I can't remember what really matters.
I question where I am, who I surround myself with, what I am doing.
School is wonderful but at the same time I feel I need something more.
It's all in my head, I suppose.
Frustration leads to creation, right?
I suppose all the work I have is weighing me down.
Is it wrong preppy kids can annoy me? Why am I so nice to them? Should I not be? I should be, no, they're just like anybody else....
I'm aching and whiny and lame. I can't tell if it's : I feel lame, I am lame, or both.
I suppose my highs are balanced with equally low nadirs in spirit. Whatever.
What matters?
Is the depression coming back? Do I need to exercise every day to keep it in check? Shouldn't the medicine be working; I'm taking more?
Does school really matter or is it just a bunch of bullshit like everything else.
Sometimes I'd like to learn things on my own and teach myself and get help when I need it.
I hate that college is so goddamn necessary these days.
I can't give up; I would be failing too many people.
The pressure just kills me.
On a more jovial note, I got to see Phil when Nick and I were on the way to his house; Phil happened to be on the phone with none other than Kaci, so I got two in one.
Don't worry about me, anybody, not that you would or should. I'm going to sleep, crying and sleep make everything better, it is so amazing. I like waking up with a fresh slate everyday.
Goodnight