(no subject)
I had sex.
Again. I don't use protection because I don't give a fuck what happens to me anymore.
I don't go to free clinics.
I've hit zero. I've hit bottom. once again. clawing my way out desperately. and I put myself in a horrible situation. Because I feel I deserve that.
This keeps on, I will get Aids. and not give a shit. man when I hear that announcement when I finally do get a check up, I'm going to laugh and smile.
I guess that's pretty fucked up.
So I'm just going to go to something that really.
something peaceful.
I'm going to kneel in front of my hearth. I'm going to pray to the japanese symbol of love my brother left behind.
And I'm just like 'Whatever is up there. listen. I can't. do this. give me strength. please.'
And I know I'll feel better.
Because I have hope.
Again. I don't use protection because I don't give a fuck what happens to me anymore.
I don't go to free clinics.
I've hit zero. I've hit bottom. once again. clawing my way out desperately. and I put myself in a horrible situation. Because I feel I deserve that.
This keeps on, I will get Aids. and not give a shit. man when I hear that announcement when I finally do get a check up, I'm going to laugh and smile.
I guess that's pretty fucked up.
So I'm just going to go to something that really.
something peaceful.
I'm going to kneel in front of my hearth. I'm going to pray to the japanese symbol of love my brother left behind.
And I'm just like 'Whatever is up there. listen. I can't. do this. give me strength. please.'
And I know I'll feel better.
Because I have hope.