what does home look like? - t - olicity - part three [b]
title: what does home look like? (I've only seen shadows of it in my dreams)
category: arrow
genre: family/romance
ship: felicity/oliver
chapter rating: pg-13/teen
overall rating: nc-17/explicit
prompt: ooh ooh felicity as lance's step-daughter, growing up with laurel and sara, in love with oliver! - anonymous
word count: 6,470
summary: (au) For most of her life, Felicity Smoak grew up with her father in Coast City, only visiting her mother Dinah and the Lance family in the summers. But when her father drops her off for an unexpected visit and doesn't come back, Felicity is forced to figure out what 'family' really means. And, in the meantime, falling in love with the local billionaire can't hurt, right?
[return.]
"Are we going anywhere particular, or are we just wasting gas?" Felicity wondered as she turned away from the view out the car window to see Oliver beside her. He looked good today. Well, actually, he looked good every day. But she was liking the pale blue button up, the collar left open, and the sleeves rolled up his forearms. He had nice forearms, and upper arms, and shoulders, and she could do this all day…
He grinned, raising an eyebrow at her. "Is it a waste if you're having fun?"
"That's some deep-thinking, Mr. Queen," she teased, rolling her eyes.
He shook his head, giving an exaggerated shudder. "Mr. Queen is my father." Reaching for her hand, he raised it to his mouth and kissed her knuckles.
"Yeah? Sara and Laurel call you Ollie," she remembered, brows hiked. She let the name roll around on her tongue before discarding it. "I think I'll stick with Oliver."
"Good. I like the way it sounds when you say it." He twined their fingers together and rested them on the stick shift. "Now what do you say to going a little faster?"
She watched him, that mischievous smile curling up the corners of his mouth. "Sometimes I think you're trouble, Oliver Queen."
He turned to look at her before he pushed a button, lowering the roof on his car. "I can be," he admitted, the wind whipping around them loudly, grabbing her hair and throwing it around her face. "What do you say, Felicity? Let's run away… Responsibility, school, parents… Fuck 'em all. Let's just drive… Anywhere you wanna go, I'll take you."
She looked back at him, the spark in his eyes, and she thought maybe he was a little more troubled than trouble.
She tightened her hand around his and leaned over, her head falling to his shoulder. "Pull over," she said close to his ear, so the wind wouldn't drown her out.
It took him a moment, but eventually he did, and when the wind finally settled and they were off the road, still and quiet, she moved. Catching his chin, she pressed down on it until he looked at her. "Hey," she murmured.
He looked at her, half-smiling as he reached up to finger-comb her hair back into some semblance of sense. "Hey," he said back. His fingers kept stroking, down her face and her neck and across her shoulders. He was a tactile guy, always looking for a way to touch her, and she couldn't say she disliked that. Sometimes she didn't even think it was sexual, it was like he was reaching out in his own way, making sure she was there, needing to remind himself that he had something solid and real in front of him.
"You wanna talk?"
His arm wrapped around her and pulled her in close. "Can I just hold you for a bit?"
She nodded against his neck, settling her arm over his stomach and running her fingers up and down his side. He smelled good; she closed her eyes and just breathed him in. She could get used to this, the comfort that came with having him hold onto her and holding him right back.
He held her for a while, and time ticked past, unnoticed, uncounted. Eventually, he started drawing shapes and letters on her back while he talked quietly, just loud enough for her to here. "You ever get stuck somewhere and you just… stay there? 'Cause it's easy and you're used to it and… nobody really expects you to go anywhere else?"
She didn't answer, but then, she wasn't sure it was a question so much as a statement.
"My parents have these expectations that I'll go off to some Ivy League school and everything will just fall into place. I'll smarten up and I'll buckle down and I'll walk out with a degree or a diploma or whatever. And then I'll take over QC and replace my dad when he retires; a 9-to-5 job that's really more like 24/7. And for some reason I'm supposed to be happy with that, or want that. But… I don't. I don't want the ivory tower. I like the other stuff, I like getting away with things because of my family name, and I like knowing that, even if I royally fuck things up, I've got a pretty padded trust fund to keep me going. But I know all that stuff isn't going to matter in ten or twenty years." He shrugged. "Right now though. Right now I just wish I didn't feel like my whole life was already decided for me and that I just have to go along with it."
She was quiet for a moment, playing with a button on the front of his shirt. "So, why do you?" she eventually asked.
He smiled and dropped a kiss to the top of her head. "Because it's a lot easier pretending everything is easy than it is actually dealing with any of it… And maybe if I ignore it long enough, it'll all just go away."
She hummed, squeezing her arm around him. Because maybe she understood that a lot better than she should, especially for someone who didn't come from a family that had the same expectations his did. Oliver grew up in a different world than her. Where her dad barely remembered to buy milk so she'd have it for cereal in the morning, his dad had already mapped out his entire future for him. Were either of them better or worse? She hoped Oliver's dad was better. That maybe if Oliver spoke up and said he wanted something different, Mr. Queen would listen. What she knew was that she asked Tony to pick up milk every week, and he remembered maybe once a month.
Oliver laughed then, in that way people do when they're uncomfortable with their own honesty.
Felicity tapped her fingers against his chest. She didn't have all the answers. She couldn't solve his life for him or stick him on the right path. She could only be there, only hold him when he needed to be held.
"I like you," he said against her ear. "I really like you."
She kissed the underside of his chin and lifted her head. "I like you, too."
When his mouth slanted over hers, she felt it down to her toes, but not like before. This wasn't the unknown, the spark of that something new with someone handsome and exciting. This was warm and familiar and full of the knowledge that Oliver wasn't perfect or the sum of the angles of his face. He was a little damaged and a lot unsure and he was just trying to figure himself out in a world that had already decided who he was for him. So she kissed him a little harder and she held on a little tighter and she promised she would always see him.
They sat in that car on the side of the road, kissing, slow and deep, fast and frenzied, until the sun began to set and time caught up. And then he lifted his head and asked her, "How's home sound?"
She nodded, sliding back to her seat, and it didn't dawn on her until later that she didn't think of Coast City or the shitty trailer waiting for her there. She thought of her mother and of her step-dad grumbling over the crossword puzzle and Sara on the phone while Laurel tapped a pencil against the books in her lap. She thought of the guest room with her unpacked duffel bag and her floral bedspread and the strip of pictures she and Oliver had taken in the mall yesterday, with her sitting in his lap and his arms around her waist.
When he dropped her off in front of her mother's apartment, he kissed her one last time. She caught his face before he pulled away and said against his lips, "Just for the record… if I did want to run away, you'd be who I ran with."
He grinned at her and pressed a messy kiss against her cheek. "I'm gonna convince you to stick around here permanently, Smoak." He winked at her. "Just watch me."
Felicity smothered a grin, shaking her head.
But as he drove off down the road, she had to admit… It wasn't the worst idea.
"So what do I do?" Felicity wondered, sitting in Sara's desk chair, swinging it side to side.
Sara shrugged, thumbing through a magazine in her lap. "I dunno. You like him, don't you?"
She nodded. "A lot."
"So, keep dating him."
"I thought you said Laurel liked him first. And there's some girl rule or something." Frustrated, she frowned to herself. She still thought that was bogus. Just how was this girl code made up? Was there a vote? If it was so well known, why hadn't she ever heard of it?
"Yeah, but you didn't know she liked him, and she didn't say anything. And, whatever, I mean, he asked you out. He's met Laurel like four times and he never did anything, so… I say, go for it." With a grin, Sara flopped back on her bed, her head leaning over the edge, and winked at Felicity. "Tell me about your first kiss again."
Felicity rolled her eyes, her cheeks flushed. "I've already told you like six times..."
Mimicking her, Sara sat up, her hands pressed to her heart. "He tasted like strawberries and I got goose bumps, and oh, Sara, of course you can plan our wedding and live in our mansion."
With a snort, Felicity threw a pencil at her. "I didn't say… some of that."
Shrugging, Sara laid back on her side. "Look, Oliver's into you, you're into him, so let Laurel get over it. I mean, it's just a guy. There's like, billions of 'em walking around. She'll find another one, trust me."
Felicity nodded, but a frown pulled at her mouth.
It was just a guy, and Laurel was her sister. They weren't close, but that didn't change biology.
Felicity knocked hesitantly at the door, shifting her feet back and forth.
"Yeah? Come in…" Laurel's voice called out.
Felicity slowly pushed the door open and stepped inside, rubbing her sweaty hands down her jeans. "Uh, hey…" she said, half-smiling. "I was hoping we could talk."
Laurel glanced at her, blew out a sigh, and then turned back around. "I don't really have time. Unlike you, I'm not so far ahead in school that I can just take a month off."
Felicity wanted to correct her, to tell her that she'd actually had her homework mailed to her so she could keep up and had been working on it every day, but she didn't think that would help things. She walked further into the room and took a seat on the corner of Laurel's bed. "I'll make it quick. I just… I thought we could talk about… Well… See… I mean, what I want to say is…" She groaned. "Look, I didn't know that you liked Oliver! I didn't even know you knew Oliver."
Laurel didn't reply, but her pencil had stopped scratching at the paper in front of her.
"We don't… We never really talked about guys when I called. I guess, I don't know, I mean, I thought if you liked someone you'd say something. If… If I'd known you liked Oliver-"
"You what? You would've let me have him?" She whirled around in her chair, glaring at Felicity. She scoffed. "Because I need your charity?"
Felicity's eyes widened and she waved her hands quickly. "What? No! No, I didn't mean that. I just… I mean, if I'd known I wouldn't've said yes when he asked me out. I'd never do anything to hurt you, not purposely…"
Laurel shook her head. "You stole the guy I liked, so I think that pretty much makes anything you say now completely pointless."
Felicity frowned. "I didn't steal him…"
"Sure, just like you're not stealing my dad or my sister or my mom…" She rolled her eyes. "Every summer it was always 'Felicity's finally coming home' and 'I can't wait to have my big sister here' and 'I've missed her so much.' But I was here all year long and I just get shoved aside because you feel like visiting. And now, because your dad just dropped you off here, now I have to hear it every day. 'Oh, poor Felicity, we have to make her feel welcome.' 'Poor, sweet Felicity who's never done anything wrong. She doesn't deserve this so we have to be extra nice.' It's totally unfair! My whole life is turned upside down because nice, perfect Felicity comes back, and now you've got my dad wrapped around your finger and my sister idolizing you and Oliver freaking Queen tripping over himself for any scrap of attention. I mean, how fair is that?" She stood from her desk abruptly and glared down at her. "You left me! You didn't want to be here! And what's so special about you anyway? I mean, you have no friends, you spend all your time with computers, your roots are growing out, and I obviously got mom's best genes. So what? What is it that makes you so damn special? Because I don't have a clue!"
Felicity swallowed tightly, clenching her teeth so her chin wouldn't wobble.
"Laurel," a low, angry voice interrupted.
Laurel jumped, taking a step back, her wide eyes turning toward the door. "Dad!"
He moved further into the room, shaking his head at her. "Apologize to your sister. Now!"
But as quickly as she'd retreated, Laurel came back, her brow furrowing. "She's not even my real sister!"
The words echoed in Felicity's ears, her heart clenched like tiny, barbed knives were stabbing it. Quickly, before her tears could spill, she stood from the bed and hurried out the door. She didn't stop when Quentin called after her, or when Sara asked her what was wrong. She ran right out of the apartment and she kept running.
Despite visiting Starling City every summer and having spent the last five weeks getting acquainted with the surrounding blocks of her mother's neighborhood, she had no idea where she was or where she was going. Walking down an unfamiliar sidewalk, she dug her phone out of her pocket and repeatedly called her dad's cell phone. Over and over, despite the 'this number is no longer in service' message that kept meeting her ears. She wiped at the tears that fell down her cheeks and tried her nana instead, but nobody answered. She tried her cousins and her dad's sister, even if she lived all the way over in Colorado. She tried anybody that her dad knew and though a few answered, nobody had any idea where her dad was.
Shoving her phone in her pocket in defeat, Felicity hugged her arms around herself and kept walking.
She wanted to go home.
Because this definitely wasn't it.
"I could come get you," Jennifer offered. "I mean, I couldn't tell my dad, I'm not actually allowed to take the car out of town, but I'll drive down and pick you up… You could stay with me. I'm sure mom wouldn't mind… You'd have to put up with my brothers, but what's new, right?"
"I don't want to get in the way. I know your house is pretty full. Your parents probably don't want to add another mouth to the table..." Felicity rocked forward on her feet, rubbing a hand up and down her arm as a breeze rushed by.
"They have been complaining about bills more than usual…" She sighed. "Well, what about Kelsey? Her mom's almost never home and the fridge is always full!"
Felicity nodded. "Yeah, yeah, that wouldn't be the worst." She paced in a circle in the mostly empty park. A few people had passed her, walking dogs or jogging, but it was dark out, so most people seemed to be avoiding the Staring City Park now that only the street lamps were lighting it. "When do you think you could come get me?" she wondered.
"Probably not until Saturday," Jenn admitted. "I'd come earlier but I have a test in algebra and Mickey's using the car until Wednesday. My dad's going golfing this weekend though, so it's the perfect time to take the car."
Saturday. It was Sunday now.
"Yeah. Yeah, Saturday's good," she said, even though her throat was burning, she was cold, and she wanted to go home now.
"I mean, your trailer's still there right? You could stay at home, too. Maybe Tony'll show up. I drove by a few times, I didn't see anybody, but you never know…"
She shook her head. "No, if he left he's probably in trouble with a bookie, so they'll know to look there. It wouldn't be safe."
"So, go with Kelsey. She'll be happy to have you. You know how lonely she gets in that big house…"
"Yeah." Felicity nodded, sniffling quickly. "Yeah, it'll be good. Okay, so I'll see you Saturday?"
"Totally." There was a pause then before, "Hey, Smoaky, are you okay? I know things are rough and you always try to keep your head up, but if you wanna talk about it…"
"It's gonna be fine." She shook her head, casting her eyes around the eerily dark and quiet park. "I'll be fine. I just… I really miss you guys."
"Aww, we miss you too! Six days, right? It'll fly by!"
"Yeah," she choked out. "Yeah, just six days."
"Ugh, Mattie wants the phone. He's got a new girlfriend and he won't stop calling her…" Her voice went a little distant then as she yelled at her brother, "He's gonna get dumped for being too clingy!"
Matt's answering, "Shut up, Jenn!" made Felicity crack a smile.
"It's fine. I'll call you in a few days," Felicity told her.
"Okay, if you're sure…" she said, skeptically.
"I am. Really. Thanks, Jenn."
"Sure. Anything for you."
When she finally hung up, Felicity looked down at her phone to see the battery was dying.
Muttering a curse under her breath, she stuffed it in her pocket and started walking toward the park entrance. She wasn't sure where she was going, but she knew it'd be safer than where she was. She swore she could feel eyes on her back, trailing her as she left. It sent a shiver down her spine that left her feeling cold, but the farther she got, the better she felt.
She got exactly four blocks from the park before a cop car slowed down beside her. "Hey… Hey, you…"
She looked over at them, frowning, and then looked in either direction uncertainly before she walked closer to the car. "Yes?"
The police officer sitting in the passenger side squinted at her. "What's your name?"
She frowned. "Why?"
"Because you match the description of a girl we're looking for… You happen to know a Detective Lance?"
Felicity bit her lip and sighed, rolling her eyes. She should've known this would happen. "Yes. He's my step-father."
The officer in the driver's seat reached for the radio. "This is car-2247. Let Lance know we found his daughter."
Quentin's voice answered. "This is Officer Lance. Car-2247, what's your location?"
Felicity blew out a sigh and took a seat on the curb to wait for him.
Time seemed to both slow down and speed up. She wasn't sure what to expect when he arrived. Would he be angry? Maybe yell at her for taking off. Or maybe he'd tell her that Laurel didn't mean any of it and she shouldn't take it to heart. The funny thing was, Tony wouldn't have gone looking for her. She'd taken off after a few fights with him in the past, turning up a few days later only for him to act like he hadn't even noticed she'd left. But Quentin had always been different, and, for some reason, she wasn't surprised that he'd pulled the force together to look for her. It was weird, but she almost felt flattered.
When Quentin pulled up, Felicity had her face in her hands and she was exhausted. More emotionally than physically, but she had technically been walking around aimlessly for the last six hours, so…
The door to his car snapped shut before he hurried toward her, his shoes slapping loudly on the pavement.
"Jesus Christ, you know how long I've been looking for you?" he wondered, before he was pulling her up from the curb by her elbows and into a hug. He ran a hand down the back of her head and sighed. "Last sighting we had was in Starling Park. You know how dangerous that place is at night?"
She shook her head slightly, her arms hanging limply at her sides.
"You can't do this to me, Kid. I got enough rebellious daughters to last me a lifetime. You need to be the level-headed one, all right?"
She squeezed her eyes shut. "I'm sorry."
He pulled back, brushing her hair off her cheeks, and looked down at her, a frown pulling at his mouth. "Listen, what happened earlier, with Laurel…"
"I don't want to talk about it," she told him, turning her head to look distantly at some store front.
"Okay…" He sighed, patting her shoulder. "C'mon. Your mom's been worried sick."
She nodded, stepping back from him.
He walked her to the car with his arm around her shoulder. "You hungry? Huh? 'Cause I could go for a burger…"
She smiled faintly. "Yeah."
"Good. We'll stop and get something." He tucked her into the car before circling around to his side.
She wondered if he'd miss her when she was gone.
[Next: Chapter Four.]
author's note: So, that turned out angstier than I remember. I know I promised a butt-load of fluff (and there was a little), but in re-reading to edit this, I realized it's mostly in the next chapter, whereas this one delves more into things with Laurel. Which, by the way, before anybody starts freaking out about her and her behaviour, please pay attention to what she's said and remember that (a) she's sixteen, and (b) I told you guys that Laurel's issues with Felicity are a lot more than to do with a boy. Oliver's just the last straw. Things with her and Felicity have been tense for a while and they'll get explored. This is an overflow of everything and Laurel is lashing out and trying to hurt Felicity. If you have a sibling, then you probably know what that's like. So, cut her some slack and remember that you don't know everything yet. I really don't want a barrage of reviews putting her down. I've always prided myself on writing characters honestly and I'm not trying to hate on her, so please don't hate on her either.
Now, apologies for how long this took. My practicum is super demanding and school is picking up and I just haven't had much time to write. I have the next chapter written, it just needs editing, and, like I said, tons of Olicity cuteness to make up for the angst-fest of late. So I hope you're excited to read that!
Thank you for reading, and please leave a review! They're my lifeblood!
- Lee | Fina