I Belong With You - NC17 - Caroline/Elijah - Part Six [1/2]
Title: I belong with you, you belong with me (You're my sweetheart)
Category: The Vampire Diaries
Genre: Romance/Angst/Drama
Ship: Caroline/Elijah
Chapter Rating: NC-17/Explicit
Overall Rating: NC-17/Explicit
Word Count: 8,446
Summary: [AU, set in 1492] Elijah has spent five centuries at Niklaus' side, doing everything in his power to help his brother find the doppelgänger. But when his chance to find happiness is found dancing in the forest, he has to decide whether love or loyalty will be his companion for eternity.
Previous: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five,
dhfreak
VI.
It was hours before Caroline woke, and when she did, it was with a startled, broken cry. She sat up quickly, her hand raised to her throat, and desperately sucked in air as tears filled her eyes.
"Caroline." Elijah crossed the room to her hurriedly, sitting beside her atop the bed she found herself lying upon. He reached for her, cupping her face delicately, and gazed at her. "You woke," he whispered, with such emotion that she knew he had not been certain she would.
The memories of what had happened were suddenly upon her, choking her with how horrific, how life-altering they were. Her brimming tears escaped, a flood that warmed her chilled cheeks. "Niklaus… H-He-" She shook her head, sucking in a shaky breath. "After I left you, when-when I returned home…"
His gaze fell, his shoulders following, and he swallowed thickly as he nodded. "Your parents…"
"He killed them. Elijah, he…" She closed her eyes tightly as her body throbbed from the ache of loss, as it spread through her bones and shook her. "Their h-heads…"
He pulled her to him, gathering her against his chest, and stroked his fingers through her hair. "He told me. I-I am so sorry, Caroline… If it were not for me, for my deception, he would not have lashed out at you, at your parents…"
She trembled in his arms, hugging him close. "He said such terrible things. He… He told me that you could not love me, that we could not be together, and he… He promised me that I would die this night. Why…" Her fingers gripped his tunic. "I felt it, as surely as I feel you in my arms. He killed me."
His hug tightened to nearly painful. "He fed you his blood, did he not?"
She flinched, squeezing her eyes shut. "Yes. He forced it down my throat until I was nearly choking on it… And he bit me, not until we arrived here though… We stood in the parlor and he- He did not bite me like you did. There- He did not warn me, nor did he linger. He simply bit into my neck and it-It hurt."
"A ruse," he murmured, his fingers running up and down her back soothingly. "To anger me, I am certain, but also to hide the blood he fed you as it must have wet your dress; he had to cover it so I would not know you would wake." He sighed, slumping against her, his resignation obvious. "This is my doing, you did not ask for this."
"I do not understand..." She shook her head in confusion. "Why did I not die?"
"You did die… As we all do before we change."
She went completely still against him, her eyes opening wide. "I… I am a vampire?" she whispered thickly.
"Not yet. Your transformation has yet to be completed."
She pulled away from him, pushing on his arms as he was hesitant to release her, but finally they were face to face, her hands braced on his shoulders as she searched his eyes. "And if I do not complete it?"
His jaw clenched. "You would die, and you would not wake this time."
Her breath hitched as she blinked rapidly, trying to understand the brevity of what he said. "And h-how…? How would I… complete this?"
He licked his lips as he raised a hand, his thumb tracing the curve of her cheek. "You must drink from someone…"
"You?" she wondered, though she was certain he would disagree, and the apologetic expression he gave her was all the answer she needed. "I cannot kill…" She shook her head. "It is not in me."
"You would not have to. You need only to feed; it does not have to kill them," he assured her.
Her eyes darted around the room as she struggled with what he was telling her. Caroline, for all her want of a future with Elijah, had not considered the complications very much. She understood that he would live forever and she would not, that he would drink blood and she would not, that she would age and he would not. But she had not considered the very real fact that she could become like him and their time together could stretch to an eternity. While she had been curious about his nature, about what he was, she could not honestly say that she had ever truly thought about being so herself. Now, however, she had no choice. It was either to be a vampire or not to be at all.
"If I never drink, then I simply die?" she asked, her brow wrinkled.
He nodded slowly, and she could tell by the firm purse of his lips that he wanted to tell her she must drink, that she could not die. But Elijah was a good man, he was devoted and honorable, and he would not take her choice from her, no matter how much it might hurt him. Truth be told, however, as much as Caroline detested the idea of drinking blood, she hated more the idea of not being with Elijah. So much had happened; Niklaus knew about her, he had killed both her and her parents, and yet… Here she sat, together with Elijah, one last opportunity for happiness and freedom.
"If I did… When I do…" She raised her eyes to meet his. "Please, do not let me kill them."
He sighed, relieved, and nodded. He reached up, burying his fingers in her hair, and drew her close, until their foreheads touched. "I thought I had lost you…" He let out a shaky breath. "At least before, when I thought you could not accept me, I could comfort myself with the thought that you would be alive and well, that you would marry and have children, but when he took you…" He swallowed thickly, gripping her hair tightly. "I could not bear it."
Caroline's heart lurched in her chest and she smiled softly. Everything that Niklaus had said, all of those terrible things he had spat at her, that Elijah could not and would not love her, faded entirely, no longer festering inside her. She knew Elijah, she knew his heart, and he loved her as dearly and desperately as she did him. "Fear not then… You have not, and will not, lose me."
He nodded faintly before his lips found hers, pressing, slanting, hard and heavy against her own. She hummed appreciatively and leaned into him, surprised when he fell back against the bed as if she had pushed him, seemingly pinned under her small frame.
He chuckled against her lips and opened his eyes. "You are much stronger than before."
"I… see that." Her lips pursed. "But how can that be if I have not yet drunk from anyone?"
"You are in transition; your body is already changing. When you are ready to drink, your teeth…" He flicked his tongue up and dragged the tip over her incisors. "They will grow longer, sharper, so that you can pierce the skin."
"Can I do the things you can do?" she teased lightly. "Can I run as swiftly as the wind? Fight as deftly as a seasoned knight?"
He grinned at her merriment and reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear, tracing the shell with his thumb. "You will be faster and stronger after you drink."
Her eyes fell and darted away momentarily. "When I do, will…" She frowned. "Will it feel as… good as it did when you bit me?"
He shook his head. "There are different ways to bite someone… When you and I were together, it was intimate. You will not feel the same rush. There will be satisfaction, but it will not be carnal. You are taking from them what is necessary; their blood gives you life."
"And when you and I are intimate…" Her cheeks warmed with a flush. "Can you still bite me?"
His lips curved at the corner in a suggestive smile she knew all too well, one that made heat coil in her belly.
He nipped at her lower lip playfully and raised an eyebrow. "As often as we please."
She shivered against him, the promise in his voice making her forget, for a moment, the situation they were facing. But the gravity of it soon returned and she pushed herself up, still seated in his lap. "Do I have very long?" she queried. "Until I must drink from someone."
"It would be best to do so as soon as possible."
Caroline chewed her lip uncertainly.
"We can have one of the servants come to our room," he told her, soothingly rubbing his hands up and down her forearms before he tangled their fingers together and squeezed.
"Would they not mind?" she worried.
He half-smiled. "Many here have offered their blood; some believe it to be an honor."
Her nose wrinkled; she thought that was quite an odd thing for anyone to believe.
In the blink of an eye, he managed to move from beneath her to stand beside the bed. "I will help you," he promised, "if this is what you truly want."
What did she truly want? she wondered. Just this morning, her only desire had been to run away with Elijah, to begin her life anew, far away from the village she had grown up in. She would see the world, her hand tucked in Elijah's; her partner, her love, forever. And now, her life seemed to have changed so drastically. She was not even certain of whether they would still leave, still flee from Niklaus. She only knew that she was alive, her parents were not, and Elijah was with her, offering to stand by her and guide her as she transformed from human to vampire.
It would seem that her wish for a new life had been honored, despite the tragedy that allowed it so. And truly, Caroline wanted to take hold of that chance, to grasp it tightly and allow herself the freedom she had so desperately craved. However, as the rush of hope for her future washed over her, it contrasted simultaneously with a flood of doubt. How could she be so happy when her own parents were slain? How dare she find happiness, find freedom, when it was her doing, her actions that cost them their lives? Uncertainty filled her heart to an overwhelming degree, leaving her conflicted. While it was true that the life she wanted was still possible, it was how it had come to be that made guilt sour the affair.
She turned her head and stared at Elijah a long moment, taking in every handsome plane of his face. Her Elijah. A man she had risked everything for; her heart, her future, she had even been willing to abandon her family, the only true constant she had ever known, to be with him. Only it was never meant to be like this.
Her eyes pricked with tears as sorrow chased away the happiness, the hope, she had felt just moments earlier. "Do you remember when I begged you to remove my parents' memories? I wanted them to be free. I did not want them to hurt…" Her voice caught in her throat, burning. "It would seem, however, that I caused them the gravest of pains… I caused their deaths, Elijah."
"No." He shook his head. "You must not think that way, Caroline. It was not you, it-"
"It was Niklaus who rendered them lifeless, but it was my choices, my actions that were the cause of their deaths."
"If our love is to blame for this tragedy, then it is I who should carry it. Niklaus was my responsibility. My deception, my want for independence, is what goaded him into this."
"My parents were my responsibility, Elijah. I made the selfish decision not to tell them anything I knew. I let them think they were safe, that there were not unseen enemies waiting for them, and they paid for my falsities." She squeezed her eyes closed. "And I will hold on to that all the days of my life. I will mourn for them, I will regret my part in their murders…"
He took her hands, squeezing them, and brought them to his lips to kiss.
"I miss them, Elijah," she murmured softly. "I want nothing more than to tell my mother my wrongdoings. I want her to pet my hair as she did when I was a young child and tell me that she does not blame me, that she forgives me and understands that I never meant for harm to come to her, nor my father. They were not meant to be the cost of my heart."
Caroline closed her eyes tight and imagined herself in her home, the hearth warm as she knelt at her mother's feet, her head cradled in her lap as Elizabeth gently stroked her hair. She remembered the smell of her, of spices, oils, and fire, familiar and comforting as they filled each breath. Her mother's soothing voice would tell her it was okay, that she understood. And her father would stand, strong and silent, as she told him she had no idea Niklaus would find out, that their lives would pay for her love, and that she had never wanted harm to come to them. His hand, large and rough with calluses, would touch the crown of her head, a silent sign of his forgiveness. She would find comfort there, in their embrace, their scents and sounds. The two people who had been beside her since she was born; her mother's steadying hand on her shoulder, her father's knowing voice of reason guiding her on her path.
As she opened her eyes, however, she found she was not at home, her parents were not there, and her fanciful hopes of making amends faded back to reality. Truth be told, her dream was exactly that; a farfetched delusion. Much as she wanted to believe that her parents would understand her and grant her forgiveness, it would not have been so easy anywhere except for in her dreams. In fact, she was fairly certain they would have some terrible words for her to hear. It did not matter, though; she loved her parents even when they had little encouragement to offer her. Even when she knew they would blame and ridicule her for her part in their deaths. Despite knowing this, knowing how her mother would yell and her father would look down at her for falling in love, Caroline found she still wished she could speak to them one last time.
"There is a part of me that believes I do not deserve this…" she admitted to Elijah, her voice distant. "Eternal life should not be given to those who have caused their parents' tragedy."
His fingers tightened around her, worrying that her mind had been changed. That her pain and her loss over her parents would still take her from him.
"My mother was a strong woman. She was brave… I have no doubt that she fought for her life, that she did not simply allow it to happen… When Niklaus sought to scare me, when I thought he would tear my heart from my chest, I thought of her, I wanted to be as strong as her. And I tried…" Her eyes filled with tears. "I tried to be as courageous as she must have been when he slayed her… I tried not to show him my fear."
He hushed her as she began to cry, her head falling in shame.
"I am not as strong as she was, Elijah. I feared Niklaus. I thought surely he would kill me and be done with it. The cruelty in his eyes, the dark promise that lay there…" She shuddered, biting her lip.
"There is good reason to fear him, Caroline. You would be remiss not to."
She raised her chin then and stared at him squarely, though her eyes were ringed in red and wet with tears. "He took my parents… He made me feel stupid, made me question whether I was good enough…" She shook her head. "I will not allow it to happen again. I will not cower from him."
"You were brave," he assured her. "In those last moments, when he tried to scare you, you did not cower."
She appreciated his words but refused to let them soothe her. "I may not ever be as strong as he is, but I will not let that… monster dictate my life. And I will live, as long as I can. For my parents, who ought never to have been hurt, for myself, and for you, Elijah…"
He let out a heavy, relieved sigh.
Her lips trembled as she tried to smile reassuringly at him. "Please, will you call for the servant, if they are willing…?"
He stared at her a moment longer, and she was sure he could see the uncertainty that plagued her expression. It was not that she wanted to drink from this servant, nor did she truly want to be a vampire; but Caroline understood surviving and this was how she would do so.
The servant that Elijah brought to their room was young, perhaps the same age as Caroline, and she was rather plain. She was nervous too; Caroline could see in the way her eyes darted and she shuffled her feet.
Caroline moved to the edge of the bed and climbed off of it, reaching hurriedly toward the girl and taking her hands. "Please do not be afraid of me," she urged. "I… I will not…" She wanted to say she would not harm her, but that was not the truth, as she would be biting her skin and drinking her blood in mere moments. Somehow, telling her that she would not kill her seemed a trivial distinction, as she had only just faced Niklaus in a situation that had shaken her to her very core.
"Elijah?" she murmured, turning to him for direction.
"You can compel her," he told her, standing just a few short feet away, his hands clasped at his back, giving her room to do as she pleased. "Tell her not to be afraid, to be quiet, whatever you wish, and she will obey."
She chewed her lip uncertainly. "Is that fair?"
"She can either be afraid and scream, or you can give her comfort… I understand that you do not want to take her decision from her, Caroline. It is up to you."
She turned her head and peered at the girl. "What would you like?"
The girl looked at her and then to Elijah and finally back to her. "I… I would not like to die this day."
Caroline nodded. "And I will not kill you!"
She blinked quickly, tears collecting in her eyes. "I do not want to be afraid… Lord Niklaus makes me feel p-pleasure, but I…" She hiccupped, dropping her gaze in shame.
Caroline's fingers caught her under the chin and raised it so they were eye to eye once more. "Do not feel pain," she said, her voice hesitant but compelling all the same. "Be calm and know that, when this is over, you will be all right."
Slowly, the girl blinked, and finally offered a small smile, content and relaxed.
Pleased, Caroline looked to Elijah for more guidance. He walked toward them and reached out to brush the girl's brown hair away from her neck and behind her shoulder. His teeth elongated and his eyes darkened while veins appeared beneath them, as he ducked down and pierced her skin. He did not drink from her as he did Caroline, and she appreciated that as, when she saw his mouth so close to the girl's skin, she felt a stab of irritation and jealousy run through her, stronger than she had ever felt.
Her attention was quickly drawn, however, as a red bead of blood pearled atop the girl's pale, white skin. Caroline cried out in surprise as she felt her teeth throb painfully before extending. Her hand raised to cover her quivering lips and she squeezed her eyes shut as she panted through the pain.
"It will pass, I promise you," Elijah assured. His fingers rose to stroke her hair. "You must drink, Caroline… Put your mouth over my bite and taste her."
She hesitated only a moment as, when she breathed in, she caught the coppery scent on the air and felt hunger fill her as never before. It made her ache with desperation, her stomach twisting up painfully. She licked her lips, her fingers twitching, and she reached for the girl, gripping her by the shoulders and drawing her close. She buried her face in the girl's shoulder and let her tongue lick up the drop that rolled down her neck. Immediately, she felt something inside of her snap and she pressed her teeth down hard enough to pierce completely through the skin. Blood filled her mouth, pooling beneath her tongue and coating her teeth. She sucked and lapped at the girl's neck, feeding the ferocious appetite burning inside her. She held on so tightly, she swore she could feel bruises forming beneath her fingertips. She drank and drank, taking comfort in the warm liquid that coated her throat as she swallowed. It was filling a need inside her, sating that clawing hunger with every drop that filled her mouth.
It was only as she felt the body against her begin to go limp that she drew her mouth back and panted, confused as she turned her eyes toward Elijah and called his name fearfully.
"You did fine." He reached for the girl and pulled her out of Caroline's grip. The girl stumbled, a dazed smile spreading her lips, and did not fight him. "She will live," he promised.
Caroline stared at the blood that soaked the front of the girl's dress and licked her lips. "Can I have more?" She licked her lips, sticky with warm blood.
"Not of her," he said, raising his own wrist and biting it open. He drained it into the girl's mouth so she would heal before he walked her to the door.
"Please, Elijah, just… Just one more taste," Caroline pleaded, following after him, reaching for his back, fingers gripping his tunic.
"It is for your own good that I do not let you."
Another servant stood on the other side of the door, this one older, plumper, and she accepted the waif-thin girl from Elijah, holding her up.
"Take her to her room to rest," Elijah ordered.
"Yes, Lord Elijah," she answered, before walking off with the sluggish girl.
Caroline began pacing, her fingers twitching. "I-I am still hungry."
"It will fade. You are new to this…" He reached for her, taking her hands and drawing her close. "Do you trust me?"
She stared up at him and swallowed tightly, the faint taste of blood still warm on her tongue. "I do."
[ Continue to: Second Half.]