'Cause what I once pursued leaves me pale and overdue
My bravado is broken and for now, my confidence is temporarily suspended.
The transition back home from college has been more than rocky. I guess you could call it mountainous. I'm always bored and lonely and as of right now, a quite depressed. While I was in Charleston everyone here moved on. They've filled the gap that I made when I left and now I'm left here without a niche. Ergh. This entry is probably not going to be very cohesive. I should have probably split these up into severeal different entries. Oh well. I just need to whine so maybe I can find a good enough reason to pull my ass out of bed and get on with life.
My best friend spends every damn free moment with her boyfriend. Yes I realize he's going to be gone for an entire month in July and yes I understand the whole "let's be an old married couple and not ever be apart" stage they're in. I was in that same place last year. But that doesn't keep me from wishing she'd cut the umbilical cord. I'm tired of asking to hang out with her only to be told she's out with him.
My sister is a condescending bitch and I'm tired of being talked down to by her. Whoop de fucking doo she's more ambitious than me. She almost went to Italy for school, she's applying for William and Mary, she's taking two AP classes next year. That doesn't give her the right to treat me like a degenerate. So my GPA was demolished by calculus. Don't fucking tell me it was because I partied too much. I went to three fucking parties this entire semester and I only drank my last weekend of school. Don't even start when you have no fucking idea what went on at college.
I never should have hooked up with ginger again. That was a mistake from the start and I knew it. I just thought I could handle it with no problem. Wrong thinking homegirl. He was manipulatve and selfish and right now I hate him more than I did before.
And I wish Mr. God Squad would get his shit together. I'm tired of his constant back and forth and always finding a way to unintentionally make me feel guilty. Get your fucking morals on lock and don't try to start something with me only to tell me the next day you don't want to be known as the good guy who goes bad whenever he gets the chance. It's bullshit.
I don't know how much longer I can go on with this "do it like a boy" mantra I had most of my freshman year. I'm losing steam and left feeling empty. I want someone nice, something normal, or just no one at all. I hate knowing that I possibly have become desensitized to the idea of a relationship.
The transition back home from college has been more than rocky. I guess you could call it mountainous. I'm always bored and lonely and as of right now, a quite depressed. While I was in Charleston everyone here moved on. They've filled the gap that I made when I left and now I'm left here without a niche. Ergh. This entry is probably not going to be very cohesive. I should have probably split these up into severeal different entries. Oh well. I just need to whine so maybe I can find a good enough reason to pull my ass out of bed and get on with life.
My best friend spends every damn free moment with her boyfriend. Yes I realize he's going to be gone for an entire month in July and yes I understand the whole "let's be an old married couple and not ever be apart" stage they're in. I was in that same place last year. But that doesn't keep me from wishing she'd cut the umbilical cord. I'm tired of asking to hang out with her only to be told she's out with him.
My sister is a condescending bitch and I'm tired of being talked down to by her. Whoop de fucking doo she's more ambitious than me. She almost went to Italy for school, she's applying for William and Mary, she's taking two AP classes next year. That doesn't give her the right to treat me like a degenerate. So my GPA was demolished by calculus. Don't fucking tell me it was because I partied too much. I went to three fucking parties this entire semester and I only drank my last weekend of school. Don't even start when you have no fucking idea what went on at college.
I never should have hooked up with ginger again. That was a mistake from the start and I knew it. I just thought I could handle it with no problem. Wrong thinking homegirl. He was manipulatve and selfish and right now I hate him more than I did before.
And I wish Mr. God Squad would get his shit together. I'm tired of his constant back and forth and always finding a way to unintentionally make me feel guilty. Get your fucking morals on lock and don't try to start something with me only to tell me the next day you don't want to be known as the good guy who goes bad whenever he gets the chance. It's bullshit.
I don't know how much longer I can go on with this "do it like a boy" mantra I had most of my freshman year. I'm losing steam and left feeling empty. I want someone nice, something normal, or just no one at all. I hate knowing that I possibly have become desensitized to the idea of a relationship.