This is really powerful and horrible.
http://unwinona.tumblr.com/post/30861660109/i-debated-whether-or-not-to-share-this-story
It’s not the first time I’ve been bothered multiple times. As such, I’m still amped from the teenagers on the first train. So when this man leans across the aisle into my personal space and asks me, yes, what are you reading, I assertively but calmly tell him to please leave me alone, I am reading. The man stands up, moving to the front and muttering angrily over his shoulder that it isn’t his fault I’m pretty.
Yes. Exactly that. I am the bad person in this situation because somehow this is all my fault. I started this by being attractive.
Of course, a lot of the reposts/comments spin it into 'waaah you're demonizing all men' and 'but I'm not like that! Are you saying I can never hit on girls?' 'ME ME ME ME I'M A MAAAAN AND MY PROBLEMS ARE MORE IMPORTANT'
I love this smackdown: http://quinndarling.tumblr.com/post/30922988954/unwinona-i-debated-whether-or-not-to-share-this
No, see…
This is the one time you don’t get to make it all about you.
This is where you say, “Wow, I can’t possibly understand what you’re going through, but I’m sorry you had to experience that, and now I have a better perspective on what women face and will never do that to a woman.”
Way to miss the point.
The point is that we have no fucking idea if the person we say, “No thank you,” or, “I’d like to be left alone, please,” to is going to be a guy that says, “Oh, sure. Sorry for bothering you!” and steps away kindly or the kind that gets in our faces and threatens us screams at us. And most of the time, it’s not worth it to take that risk.
We have to treat everyone like the latter because if we don’t, and we’re caught off guard, then whatever happens to us is always our fault. If we’re not nice, we’re bitches. If we’re too nice, we’re asking for whatever we get.
Women don’t owe you anything, least of all an apology. We don’t owe you the time of day, we don’t owe you a conversation, we don’t owe you an explanation.
If you read a story like that and all you can say is, “Well excuuuuuuuuuuse me for being male!” then you’re part of the fucking problem.
seriously: dudes. it’s not about you. if you are personally a super swell guy, awesome. good for you. but don’t get mad if people assume until proven otherwise that you’re the sort of guy who’ll catcall and harass and follow girls home. cause we just don’t know. it’s not personal.
unless you’re one of those guys who likes doing that to people, and then it’s very personal, and you need to step off.
It’s not the first time I’ve been bothered multiple times. As such, I’m still amped from the teenagers on the first train. So when this man leans across the aisle into my personal space and asks me, yes, what are you reading, I assertively but calmly tell him to please leave me alone, I am reading. The man stands up, moving to the front and muttering angrily over his shoulder that it isn’t his fault I’m pretty.
Yes. Exactly that. I am the bad person in this situation because somehow this is all my fault. I started this by being attractive.
Of course, a lot of the reposts/comments spin it into 'waaah you're demonizing all men' and 'but I'm not like that! Are you saying I can never hit on girls?' 'ME ME ME ME I'M A MAAAAN AND MY PROBLEMS ARE MORE IMPORTANT'
I love this smackdown: http://quinndarling.tumblr.com/post/30922988954/unwinona-i-debated-whether-or-not-to-share-this
No, see…
This is the one time you don’t get to make it all about you.
This is where you say, “Wow, I can’t possibly understand what you’re going through, but I’m sorry you had to experience that, and now I have a better perspective on what women face and will never do that to a woman.”
Way to miss the point.
The point is that we have no fucking idea if the person we say, “No thank you,” or, “I’d like to be left alone, please,” to is going to be a guy that says, “Oh, sure. Sorry for bothering you!” and steps away kindly or the kind that gets in our faces and threatens us screams at us. And most of the time, it’s not worth it to take that risk.
We have to treat everyone like the latter because if we don’t, and we’re caught off guard, then whatever happens to us is always our fault. If we’re not nice, we’re bitches. If we’re too nice, we’re asking for whatever we get.
Women don’t owe you anything, least of all an apology. We don’t owe you the time of day, we don’t owe you a conversation, we don’t owe you an explanation.
If you read a story like that and all you can say is, “Well excuuuuuuuuuuse me for being male!” then you’re part of the fucking problem.
seriously: dudes. it’s not about you. if you are personally a super swell guy, awesome. good for you. but don’t get mad if people assume until proven otherwise that you’re the sort of guy who’ll catcall and harass and follow girls home. cause we just don’t know. it’s not personal.
unless you’re one of those guys who likes doing that to people, and then it’s very personal, and you need to step off.