Long time, no posty
Well needless to say, I haven't felt like updating in the past few months. Mostly because the things that I would want to journal about are really private so I write them down in my book journal, and then don't have the desire to post anything online. Because really, what am I going to do, tell you all about what I do every day? That's not at all exciting, let me tell you. My life is boring. At least I think it is.
I like to keep things private. I'm not a very open/sharing person, I've discovered. I play my cards close to my vest, as the saying goes. I like helping my friends with their problems, but I don't like sharing what's going on in my life, or if things are slowly going down the crapper.
I want to be happy with my life, and sometimes I'm really content with what I have. But then there are other times when I'm not happy with the person I am and the kind of life I have right now.
I have an overwhelming desire to be a grown-up. The very thing I was terrified of about six months ago. Now, I want to get the hell out of school and start doing what I want to do and what I love.
Do you ever get the feeling like you're just waiting for something to happen? Like you have all this excess energy building up inside you, straining for that...whatever the hell is coming? Like you know something exciting or new is going to happen, or at least you want it to happen, and until it does, you have this vague sense of restlessness and impatience?
I was just thinking about myself at 15. (The thought process was sparked by hearing a song that was popular when I was that age.) Six, almost seven years ago. I was a completely different person, I feel. My expectations for life were different. My biggest goal was to get a lead in the Operetta before I graduated, and make Sweet Sixteens. I was terrified of college--I don't even think I looked that far ahead. I would never want to go back to that age, especially if I had to re-do the last six or seven years. I'm so close to what I want right now, why would I want to give it away?
I know what I want, and I know I'm going to do everything in my power to get it.
It's moments like this one that make me so happy to be the person that I am.
I like to keep things private. I'm not a very open/sharing person, I've discovered. I play my cards close to my vest, as the saying goes. I like helping my friends with their problems, but I don't like sharing what's going on in my life, or if things are slowly going down the crapper.
I want to be happy with my life, and sometimes I'm really content with what I have. But then there are other times when I'm not happy with the person I am and the kind of life I have right now.
I have an overwhelming desire to be a grown-up. The very thing I was terrified of about six months ago. Now, I want to get the hell out of school and start doing what I want to do and what I love.
Do you ever get the feeling like you're just waiting for something to happen? Like you have all this excess energy building up inside you, straining for that...whatever the hell is coming? Like you know something exciting or new is going to happen, or at least you want it to happen, and until it does, you have this vague sense of restlessness and impatience?
I was just thinking about myself at 15. (The thought process was sparked by hearing a song that was popular when I was that age.) Six, almost seven years ago. I was a completely different person, I feel. My expectations for life were different. My biggest goal was to get a lead in the Operetta before I graduated, and make Sweet Sixteens. I was terrified of college--I don't even think I looked that far ahead. I would never want to go back to that age, especially if I had to re-do the last six or seven years. I'm so close to what I want right now, why would I want to give it away?
I know what I want, and I know I'm going to do everything in my power to get it.
It's moments like this one that make me so happy to be the person that I am.